Topic ID: 33347
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
myfreindsavamp
run away! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 2049 Reviews: 108 Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri) 325 Points
|
Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:52 pm Post subject: A New Light on a Distant Shot |
|
|
A New light on a Distant Shot
When a boy, Jessie was seven his sister died at the age of fifteen. Now he's fifteen and he's trying to figure out why his sister was killed. He spends his nights up and during the day he sleeps (even in class). No one's been able to stop him after his sister died so they leave it. He gets a C average anyways so who cares. He's not failing.
Anyways back to subject. He slips into his sister's room and has always been taunted by a book shelf full of note books that are filled with his sister's handwriting. He pulls one out and then decides better of it. As he pushes the thing back a letter falls to the ground. It's addressed to him. When he reads it, it gives him permission to read them. This permission is from is sister. She herself expected she might be dead.
Jessie starts to read his sister's life from about six months from her death and decided to type it up. He eventually send it off to a publisher and boom it's published. Now a group of people are a bit mad at him and people in his family start to die. In the end he's the only one left and-
Wait. I can't tell you the whole story. The end is a cliff hanger but here I am finally starting. Yay!
I already have ideas for the sequel but I have to get the first done and started to get published so, yeah. It's hopefully gonna be called The Only Key.
The covers for both are on this thread-
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic33326.html
So far I have 21 pages typed and I'm finally in CHapter One called New Girl. I have seven nights typed up and one day typed up.
Here's the prolgue:
Prolog
… “Tell me again what you saw when you came home, Mrs. Jacobs.”
“I stepped through the doorway and there lay my daughter and son. Both their curly hair lay strewn against the floor, blood upon it. My daughter’s black hair in particular was strewn about her head like a black crown. A crown of death.-” Sobs burst out on the recording.
“Please, try and continue. It helps.”
“My son’s face was streaked with tears, his eyes wide open but the minute I saw Jess, her eyes closed and a peaceful look on her face, I knew she was gone. She held a gunshot wound to the upper right of her chest. I-I’m sorry, I can’t continue,” A sob came again.
“Take your time Mrs. Jacobs. May I ask, how old was she?”
“Jessica was fifteen. Jessie was only seven.”
“Has Jessie changed since that day?”
“Yes, he’s changed drastically. He hasn’t cried since that day. He’s broken many a bone since then but he hasn’t cried. He tends to wear black a lot now and he spends all night awake. During the day he sleeps in all his classes but manages a C average.”
“Again, how old is Jessie now?”
“Fifteen.”
“Thank you. That is all for now, Mrs. Jacobs. I’ll see you next month.”… click! The recording ended. They always recorded these things for Jessie. He never went to the counseling sessions.
Jessie sat there at the blank word document, his hands hovering over the keyboard for a second and the next they were flying over it. He’d always been good at computer applications.
Yes, never cried since that day the ambulance took my sister away in a body bag. That whole day police were swarming around our house. I wouldn’t let them take her away until they had men hold me down. As they pushed the body into the bag I gave off a deafening scream. Jessica had been shot only once but once was enough to take her down. She hit the floor and I didn’t understand what was wrong. I saw the blood and rushed to the phone. As we waited I lay down beside her. When the ambulance came it was too late.
-Jessie…
He felt he should type something more but he didn’t know what. He attached the recording, saved it, and hit the X in the corner.
Hope it's interesting. |
_________________ Dis is ambercoultis. Remeber me? Hello?
*waves hand infront of blank face*
Hey. I just relized my age says 14. My bdays tom... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
myfreindsavamp
run away! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 2049 Reviews: 108 Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri) 325 Points
|
Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:56 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have 26 pages typed up and um.. I don't know how many night but I have two days I think.
RIght now I'm on NOtebook 2. And darn. There's 24 in all. Well... Jessica's a writter so I might just have the last few be her stories that she wrote during the time that she had been at home.
*SHrug*
-Amber |
_________________ Dis is ambercoultis. Remeber me? Hello?
*waves hand infront of blank face*
Hey. I just relized my age says 14. My bdays tom... |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kyte
Official YWS hawk Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 872 Reviews: 391 Country: Somewhere in Florida 469 Points
|
Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 1:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It's real good. No mistakes that I can see, and you conveyed the characters' feelings well. |
_________________ Principal: Today is Friday, April twenty-eighth.
Christopher: Fact!
Flying Solo |
|
| Back to top |
|
myfreindsavamp
run away! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 2049 Reviews: 108 Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri) 325 Points
|
Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Yay!
I got 27 pages now. I haven't seamed to be able to find a page I was missing. I'll have to around and find more stuff to put in my book though. |
_________________ Dis is ambercoultis. Remeber me? Hello?
*waves hand infront of blank face*
Hey. I just relized my age says 14. My bdays tom... |
|
| Back to top |
|
myfreindsavamp
run away! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 2049 Reviews: 108 Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri) 325 Points
|
|
| Back to top |
|
myfreindsavamp
run away! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 2049 Reviews: 108 Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri) 325 Points
|
Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Okay. Got more characters writen up but I'll just give my gallery. It's easyer.
http://myfreindsavamp.deviantart.com/gallery/ |
_________________ Dis is ambercoultis. Remeber me? Hello?
*waves hand infront of blank face*
Hey. I just relized my age says 14. My bdays tom... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|