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Cry of The fallen swords
Cry of The fallen swords
by Lord Anzius in Storybooks
Young Writers Society Forum Index -> The Lounge » Will Review For Food

This thread was created on July 10, 2008
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Jamie_rocks   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Okay, here's one that badly needs to be shredded. Sorry, it's kind of long. I'm mainly worried about dialog, character development, and if you think it's too rushed.

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic33373.html

Thanks in advance, and I'm still working on reviewing the Canaby Sisters. Sorry it's taking so long.

P.S. Really, don't be afraid to shred it. Harshness is good.
Is there anything you're asking for in return?

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If you need a review, PM me or check out my topic in the "Will review for food" forum. Smile
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wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
nothing in return, thanks

i'm done and it was very interesting

next please

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BigBadBear   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Murder & Investigation 1 - Before the Murder

Murder & Investigation 2 - Discovery of the Murder

Eh, sorry for the lame titles. The first one has like a bajallion critiques, but the last one has none. Thank you so much.

-Jared

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wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
done jared, but i only did the second because you said the first had a lot of reviews and whatever i said would have been redundant. I did read it though and it was good,

next please

---Jon---
Very Happy

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ProfessorRabbit   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Jon, my friend, I have something for you to review!

Thanatos

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wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
The first one has like a bajallion critiques, but the last one has none.


which is why I only critiqued the second one, I did read the first one and i liked it other than the slang-ish chat talk Very Happy

next please

---Jon---
Very Happy

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
next please

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Sportgurl46   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
hey Smile i just recently put a poem on here and i need more thoughts on it Smile here's the link:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post402277.html#402277
thank you for your time Smile

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wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
done, it was great!

next please

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zankoku_na_tenshi   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
*pokes head in nervously*

Hi there! If you're not too busy, would you mind taking a look at Land of Sky, Land of Rain?

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic9291.html

That link is for chapter one, feel free to review as many chapters as you like. I know it would be unreasonable for me to ask for you to read all of them, though I really think my later chapters are the ones most in need of help-- there are a lot of reviews for the first three chapters, not so many after that.

Please feel free to tear them apart, but don't be too harsh... I know they suck. XD *is kinda scared*

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Swottielottie   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hello! Me and Mr.DigitalKid would really appreciate it if you reviwed this short piece! There's a question at the bottom of the thread that we really need to be answered!

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic34683.html


Thanks!

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Swottie--- done

Zankoku -- I need to know which ones you want me to do other than one, but in the mean time i will do the first chapter!

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Rascalover   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Photography
Will you reveiw?

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic34442.html

thanks in advance- Tiffany

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wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Rascalover-- done

Next please, although i might not get to it right away, I start school tommorrow!

Leave them here and I'll get to them!

---Jon---
Very Happy

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fun4eva   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hiii!
I hae two pieces for you..
The first one is a poem and the second one is a chapter in the action forum..

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post421027.html#421027

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic34301.html

Thanks in advance
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