Topic ID: 35124
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Trident
The Tattered Scribe is in us all. Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 21 Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 1013 Reviews: 262 Country: U.S. 364 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:14 am Post subject: Trident's "Poke-some-holes-in-your-piece" Shop |
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Feel free to leave a piece for me to poke some holes in. If you can handle the power of the trident, then I'll be happy to take a look.
Please feel free to explain any specifics of which you would like me to pay attention. I am a grammar savant and have a pretty good grasp on sentence structure and overall content. I have less experience with poetry, but will still have a look. Poetic conventions are probably my biggest weakness.
I do not require you to review any of my work, but if you'd like to return the favor, that would be great!
So prepare for a well thought-out critique. Beware to all who are seasick! |
_________________ Perception is everything.
Visit The Tattered Scribe: http://rhetor.blogs.com/scribe/ |
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scasha
What would Keynes do? Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 272 Reviews: 148 Country: Under the stars of another sun 436 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Trident!
I just put up a mystery called Murder She Drew and I was wondering if you could take a look at it. Things to look out for:
1) Were you suprised by the murderer
2) Did it all make sense?
3) Did the plot work well?
4) Any line edits you have.
Thanks so much! |
_________________ "Nous sommes tout deux victime. De ce doux jeu d'amants." -- Ce Jeu par Yelle
Want to enter a spiffy contest run by yours truly? Enter Here or how about This One?
Want a truly amazing critique? PM me!!
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TL G-Wooster
boh Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Feb 2007 Posts: 3626 Reviews: 821 Country: in Bavaria where the sheep seldom wear spectacles 623 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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Hi! If you could shred Scavenger for me, I'd be really grateful. If you can't do a line by line of each chapter, then an overall would be just as nice.
If I could have specifics on the characters, whether there's anything confusing or not explained very well, whether the M/C's background is clear or confusing or whatever.
Thanks!
Oh, and you have to scroll about halfway down the page to the get to where it properly starts. The first chapter is called "Drych-ddelwedd" and begins with a Gandhi quote. |
_________________ Most people run screaming to the therapist when they hear voices. I write. –Laurie Halse Anderson |
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Black Ghost
Life Is Sexually Transmitted Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Feb 2006 Posts: 986 Reviews: 276 Country: The Edge of Inspiration 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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The Voices are Many would like a stab. ^_^
I would love just any overall impressions, and any advice or criticism you have.
Thank you!
BlackGhost |
_________________ "...(smile)..." ~ Paul Harris
Hauntings - A Critique Shop |
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Gadi.
that was good ... for your age Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 06 Aug 2007 Posts: 996 Reviews: 394 Country: under the covers 190 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Tri! Here's what I'd like a crit on...
As Elaine Lights A Cigarette
It was sort of an experiment? I don't have any specific questions, really... |
_________________ my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away |
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dreamintechnicolour
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 08 Aug 2008 Posts: 89 Reviews: 15 Country: New Zealand 326 Points
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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I would love for you to completely rip apart my story Forget Myself. Focussing on how it's written rather than the plot itself, but, any suggestions you could make would be appreciated! Thank you!
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic35278.html |
_________________ ...John Vesely can fall for me anyday.... |
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SunshineOrange
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts: 89 Reviews: 29 Country: Land Of The Yorkshire Pudding :D! 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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I'd be grateful if you could look at my action/adventure piece, Future Final. It's only the first part of the first chapter, but I want to make it perfect before I write anymore.
I wouldn't mind if you give me some advice about sentence structure in it, as things have been pointed out that could be improved, but I'm finding it difficult.
Any other help is welcome. |
_________________ Ehh Maii Gawwwsh, it's GingerLizzy, on a different profile!
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