Topic ID: 33305
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject: Red Line Reviews |
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Hello all!
I love reviewing, but I when I scan the forums I'm always terrified that I'll give a tough critique to someone who isn't quite ready for it.
When I give someone an edit, I look at their work as I would look at my own. I'm also a perfectionist. And have a dry sense of humor. These things don't always mix well.
But for those who want a tough, deep critique, I'm ready and willing!
I will read just about anything, but I give priority to (in this order):
+ Fantasy
+ Literary-esque Fiction
+ Action/Adventure
I will review poetry if you're really desperate, but it's not my best area.
For examples of my reviews, see my previous crits:
Invisible Man (Prologue)
Shadowplay (Excerpt)
The Protectors of Gaia
I don't ask for much in return. Since I don't post my own work online, point donations, though much appreciated, are not entirely necessary. It would be nice of you to check out my blog and leave a comment, though!
So. Any takers?
Avens |
Last edited by Avens Dolor on Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:25 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Jamie_rocks
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 27 Apr 2008 Posts: 355 Reviews: 48 Country: America 350 Points
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Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Ooh, I'm the first one! I just posted this, and I'm looking for a harsh critique. (It's supernaural though, I hope you don't mind). Especially I want to know if my dialog is realistic and not choppy.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic33373.html
P.S. Sorry, it's kind of long. |
_________________ If life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let everyone wonder how you did it.
If you need a review, PM me or check out my topic in the "Will review for food" forum.  |
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:08 am Post subject: |
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Hi Jamie!
Supernatural is always fun! I'll get right on it. I should finish some time this evening.
Avens |
_________________ Click to visit my author blog! |
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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TL G-Wooster
boh Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Feb 2007 Posts: 3626 Reviews: 821 Country: in Bavaria where the sheep seldom wear spectacles 623 Points
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29564.html
If you could do all of this, I'd really like it. And please, be as harsh and possible. Scroll down until you get to the Gandhi quote on the bit called Drych-ddelwedd and carry on from there. |
_________________ Most people run screaming to the therapist when they hear voices. I write. –Laurie Halse Anderson |
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ProfessorRabbit
+4 to hit Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Posts: 790 Reviews: 47 Country: Dictionopolis 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:07 pm Post subject: |
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May I get a critique on this piece, please?
Thanatos |
_________________ Frylock, please, no books! I can't read; I'm not a loser!
-Master Shake |
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BigBadBear
Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 1720 Reviews: 615 Country: USA 937 Points
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: |
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My mailbox flipped out and I didn't even realize that these requests were here! I'll get to them first thing tomorrow morning!
Avens |
_________________ Click to visit my author blog! |
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1288 Reviews: 367 Country: USA 1002 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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An extremely edited version: Out of Focus
Be harsh?
Thanks so much! Let me know when I can return the favor.
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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I'll be getting right on to Out of Focus (likely will work on it tomorrow evening) and I've done everything up to that point.
Done!
I'm all caught up now. Just a note--I reserve the right to take up to a week before I post any review under normal circumstances. There are times when it may be longer (I will let you know if this is the case), and often it'll be a much shorter wait than that, but it's best that I do a critique when I feel up to it and am not feeling rushed. More fun for me that way, and more fair to you authors!
Avens |
_________________ Click to visit my author blog! |
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Jamie_rocks
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 27 Apr 2008 Posts: 355 Reviews: 48 Country: America 350 Points
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:24 am Post subject: |
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I'm back. The review on my first piece was awesome. Can you help be out again? Rip it to shreds please.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic31712.html |
_________________ If life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let everyone wonder how you did it.
If you need a review, PM me or check out my topic in the "Will review for food" forum.  |
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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I'd be delighted to! Unfortunately, my life is painfully busy right now, so I won't be able to get to it until Sunday night (when I'll be brought to a standstill by waiting in an airport all night). But I'm looking forward to it!
Avens |
_________________ Click to visit my author blog! |
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1288 Reviews: 367 Country: USA 1002 Points
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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All There Is
Let's see how much you kill something that isn't as edited as my previous story. xD
Thanks so much!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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xxfourthelement
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 18 Jun 2008 Posts: 105 Reviews: 16 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:21 pm Post subject: |
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I would love a rip-to-shreds review.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post415975.html
Action/Adventure/Sci-fi novel chapter. There are two chapters before it, but this could stand alone if you're busy or feeling too lazy to check out the others.  |
_________________ "...I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before people start edging away and talking about soothing drinks." - Lord Raould of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak
Free Reviews |
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Avens Dolor
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 116 Reviews: 49 Country: USA 500 Points
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:19 am Post subject: |
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Will get on these soon! School just started today and the RNC is in St Paul so things are craaaazy.
Bear with me, please!
Done!
Avens |
_________________ Click to visit my author blog! |
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