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*singerofthenight*
just stole your pickle! Wha hahaha *runs off*
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 Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: Desperate for your love |
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*Forgive me my dear friends, if this a bit extreme....im just showing my feelings to the lord! can i get an amen?*
I am desperate.
Desperate for your love.
My head is hung,
Hands held high.
Tears stream down
Leaving trails of sorrow
To slide down my face.
My heart leaps with joy
At this miracle you've given.
You've brought me home,
Safe from the terror of the world.
You've used your gentle, guiding hand
That was so harshly bruised,
To lead me where I must stand.
I cannot deny it now.
The love that you bring,
Swells my heart with joy.
And I realize.
I am desperate.
Desperate for your love. |
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Last edited by *singerofthenight* on Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:12 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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phantom_blackfire_wings
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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AMEN!!!!!
I love this poem girl!
It gives people visualization of the love Christ has for us. |
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*singerofthenight*
just stole your pickle! Wha hahaha *runs off*
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| THANK YOU! if only everybody new him......*sighs* hey have you heard about the project they are doing in china? abotu building churches? |
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Lifewas radical rightafterImetthe monster. Later,life becameharder,complicated. Ultamitely,aliving hell. Like swimmingagainst a riptide,walking thewrongdirection inthefastlaneofafreeway,wakingfrom tehsweetestdreamstofindyourselfinthemiddleofa nightmare. |
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SimonCowellLuver
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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I am a church goer my self i really like this. If you go to church do you read it there?
If not you should it would give others inspiration to write happy and joyful things not like me which is total opposite. I love the lord he is great. Ominpotent i say which means all powerful high authority.
i really like this keep up the awesome work! 
SimonCowellLuver |
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aestar101
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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I knew you religous when I saw the Casting Crowns avatar. There is a book series called Sierra Jensen. It's about a Christan teen going though life as a God-fearing person. It has Christ's veiw on teen problems its awesome  ! |
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phantom_blackfire_wings
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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I've read one of the other related series, ahhhhh! what is it called!
but its really good  |
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GryphonFledgling
It's elementary...
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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Amen!
Go Jesus, you know it!
I liked this poem. It was really simple, but it was loving and really expressed your want and thanks to God.
Really have nothing else to say have I...
*hallelujah*
~GryphonFledgling |
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busboys and poets
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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I am not Christian, or even religious, but I can appreciate religious/spiritual poetry and prose. What I cannot forgive is apologizing for your faith, as you did in the summary beneath the title.
The poem itself is, if a little cliche, not objectionable. |
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aestar101
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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I've read one of the other related series, ahhhhh! what is it called!
but its really good |
There is the Christy Miller series. |
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shanan-cat
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:41 am Post subject: |
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I only had one problem with your story, if it is a poem I think that it should at least have verses, like after every four lines or so, you start another four but you leave a space between each. Understand?
shanan-cat! Rock on! |
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Adnamarine
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| Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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This was wonderful, loved it. A few things though.
First, when you say 'I am desperate for your love' in the first two lines it makes it sounds as though you don't have their love, even though you want it. Once I read on, I understood it, but you might want to change the way you phrase that. Having your readers confused within the first lines is never good.
| *singerofthenight* wrote: |
Tears stream down
Leaving trails of sorrow
To slide down my face. |
The first and third lines right here struck me as a little redundant.
In the last two lines, I wouldn't repeat 'desperate' again in the last line. I'd just say 'I am desperate for your love.' It was good in the very beginning (except for what I said above), but I'd change it in the last two lines.
Also, I agree with shanan-cat, you should make verses.
But apart from that, loved it.
Always, keep writing.
*adna* |
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*singerofthenight*
just stole your pickle! Wha hahaha *runs off*
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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| yeah sorry about that. i just was trying to find...i dont know... a catch phrase? |
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Lifewas radical rightafterImetthe monster. Later,life becameharder,complicated. Ultamitely,aliving hell. Like swimmingagainst a riptide,walking thewrongdirection inthefastlaneofafreeway,wakingfrom tehsweetestdreamstofindyourselfinthemiddleofa nightmare. |
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vixeyt
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| Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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I hate Religion and 'God' so much. I do not believe that 'God' exists and I just needed to let you know that.
Absolutly brilliant poem! Wonderfully written, very clear in some weird way. Very enjoyable. A good piece of work. |
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