Topic ID: 36829
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adriangarcia
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 Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:35 am Post subject: Loneliness is like sex |
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Loneliness is like sex.
It should never be spoken of
but everyone talks of it.
It creeps from the most middle of your body
into the extremities.
It leaves you numb.
I can never speak of my loneliness.
Because, if I did
surely you’d disagree. |
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leftnoa
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| Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:12 am Post subject: |
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This is the the best poem I have read on this site, not only does it have truth that the others don't but it also has humor (which I found in the last line).
I adore the line "It creeps from the most middle of your body".
It reminded me of Samuel Beckett though I can't say why.
Keep up the good work! |
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olivia1987uk
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392 Points
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:53 am Post subject: |
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I just had to comment on this and say how thoroughly fantastic it is...truly very spectacular....
I love how short and sweet it is, and it actually shocks me how much effect this small amount of lines can have on a reader...
Grammatically it is sound and all I can say is well done!
Kudos to you my dear, can't wait to read more of your stuff, even if it is only half as good as this!
Keep em coming! Lol |
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xGraceex
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: :P |
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This poem was so... true, lonelyness is just as you said, like sex, and it is a taboo (is that the right word?) topic and you dont just walk down the street and saw "IM LONELY!" or else people would just think you were crazy, and you dont walk down the street and... well you get my drift 
loved the poem, i had read it before but had never really got the chance to review it. Sorry if i cant be more helpful, again you are great at using sunjects apart from suicide, first love, "my boyfriends left me!" or another thing that has been seen so many times before. i was really surprised when i saw this poem and im glad i opened it even if its title was slightly offputting lol, not in a bad way in just a omg kind of way ("did he just say sex?") lol |
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hunni_88205
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| Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: Re: Loneliness is like sex |
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Fantastic poem, it really brings to reality the subject of loneliness and it is all totally true! I love the fact that you compared it to sex too, and it leaves all cliches behind. Keep up the good work! 
I especially love the line:
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It creeps from the most middle of your body
into the extremities.
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Such a beautiful line!
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Wolf
ςђเคг๏รςยг๏
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| Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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I really like this poem, especially the first part -- so true. (One of the first thing I'm learning at junior high. Seriously. Everyone talks about sex.)
The slight, almost bleak humour is good in a poem like this. I think it's a good way to approach the subject of loneliness rather than the usual clichéd stanzas that go on and on about terrible feelings of despair and depression. I thought this poem was kind of lacking in imagery, but that's really just a matter of personal opinion, since I know that not at all poems need to have imagery to be good and somehow the simplicity of this poem makes it nice, sort of a short, well-rounded piece. There's nothing here that you don't need.
It's like ... you like something but you don't know why, since it isn't particularly beautiful or new or intriguing. Maybe this poem could be beautiful, but now it just seems kind of bland. But I still like it, you know? Maybe I like it for its blandness. It's still good.
Well I don't really know what I'm saying, so I should just stop. 
- Camille<3 |
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