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This thread was created on December 4, 2004
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The America Project Goto page Previous 1, 2
Topic ID: 302
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Kyte
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 Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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| What I wanted to point out is, when I saw '63 in the header, I thought it meant nineteen sixty-three. |
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chichi
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300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 3:24 am Post subject: |
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At the beginning it is quite misleading to say '63 because people think it's 1963. Tessitore is right with all the mistakes so I won't point them out again.
The twist at the end is good, it keeps the reader alert and it leaves a wide open window for continuation, which is a good thing if you're planning on writing more.
One thing, however, is that there isn't much description. I don't know what the diner staff looked like or what their characters were like and I hardly know anything about the main character, who is very important. I don't know anything about the president and I know more information about SPOOKS, who I haven't even met besides the MC, than everyone you've mentioned combined (excepting the MC).
This is really well written, and it sounds like there's a sequel in store (maybe I'm just being hopeful). This is a great story! |
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| This thread was created on December 4, 2004 |
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