Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Young Writers Society
News:  

Must Read: No Chat-Speak

Happy Thanksgiving!
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
Forked (1)
Forked (1)

by staplestoo in Action/Adventure Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on October 6, 2008
Post new topic   Reply to topic
Digg It Del.icio.us

Related Items
Possible Related Items Follow:
Awakening
Awakening - part 2

Awakening, and the rest of the story

Topic ID: 36911
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
xGraceex   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

76
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 18 Sep 2008
Posts: 238
Reviews: 76
Country: rainy old england
320 Points

PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 5:46 pm    Post subject: Awakening, and the rest of the story Reply with quote

The night was cold and bright with stars, the moon gazing down at the earth, eerie glistening light pouring over the surrounding countryside. All was still, no wind rustled through the trees, no whisper swept past the branches, nothing moved. Everything was still like a black and silver picture. It was also silent, deathly silent, and if any human was nearby even they would feel the anticipation in the air. But no one was around, it was deserted in the large gardens of Amber cottage, its residences taken care of not so long ago.

After many hours of prickling silence a small sound began to be heard, by the owl sitting in one of the high trees. It looked down at the large stone with a beady eye and waited. The sound came again, a soft scratching that was barely a sound at all, though the owls sharp hearing could pick it up in the chilling silence. The scratching slowly began to grow loader as the minutes ticked by, coming from under the giant stone that was placed in the middle of the lawns of the old garden. Something then stirred, and the owl ruffled its feathers slightly and leaned forwards on its perch, its eyes fixed on the stone.

Then the owl narrowed its eyes. No, its not possible, he thought, how could she be alive? He lent forward even closer and suddenly jumped in shock as a blood curdling scream pierced the night, coming from beneath the stone. Suddenly the grass around the it trembled and the earth was suddenly torn away, it collapsed inwards so all was left was a very small hole, pitch black and at the edge of the stone. Then, slowly, a white finger crawled out of the hole, only for a second, before disappearing back again into darkness. The owl was quivering with fear and excitement as he watched in wonder. The finger appeared again, and it slithered out the hole and tugged at more of the earth, making the hole wider. Soon an entire hand appeared, then a wrist, then a long and bony arm. The hole widened and soon it was large enough for two thin arms to appear, the face of the woman still in darkness.

The owl couldn't wait a moment longer and leapt off its branch and swirled towards the earth, landing softly on the grass. It watching as the woman hungrily scratched away at the moist earth. Soon she had made the hole big enough, and with a great gasping breath, she pulled herself into the moonlight, gripping the grass with her long pale fingers to pull herself out of the darkness.

The young woman, barely more than sixteen, lay on the grass for a moment, shaking uncontrollably. The owl stepped closer and gazed at her painfully thin frame, the whiteness of her skin and her long black hair, lank and covered in dirt. Her bare feet were dripping with scarlot blood, and he saw that her toenails had been ripped away. Her sharp fingernails leapt up, and she scratched her white cheek, digging into the flesh. But no blood was drawn.

"It is done," the owl said, and the woman sighed again, her head rolling with exhaustion.

"Sleep, my child," the owl said in its whispering voice, and she shivered and closed her blood red eyes, falling completely still again. Her mouth was slightly open, and revealed a row of razor sharp teeth, newly grown and pearly white. The owl nodded gravely and launched into the air, glancing at the sleeping woman with his yellow eyes before disappearing into the night.

xxx

It snowed that night, falling from the clouds that had quickly hurried across the sky to cover up the twinkling stars. The young woman soon disappeared under the thick layer of white snow, her thin form lost in a blizzard of snowflakes, the cold seeping into her bones and her eyelashes frozen together. She slept on through the night, and as the sun started to rise she opened her eyes and was blinded by the fierce pale gaze, so she closed them again and rolled over, burying her face in th snow so she wouldn’t have to see the terrible sunlight. By noon the snow covering her had started to melt, so the filthy rags she wore were cold and damp, and she knew she couldn’t stay there forever.

Keeping her eyes firmly closed, she gingerly heaved herself up onto all fours and started to crawl towards the trees, shuffling through the deep snow. She kept stumbling over her long black hair, it getting caught where she put her hands, so she blindly tucked it behind her ears and carried on, the freezing snow burning her hands and her elbows shaking. Once in the shade she opened her eyes, glad to be near the trees so she could have some shelter. She used one of the trunks to pull herself upright and she swayed on her legs, clinging to the bark for support.

Her mind had been groggy since awakening, and she couldn’t remember what had happened, why she had been buried beneath that stone, and how she had survived. She reached up and felt the cut on her cheek, her skin torn open by her long sharp fingernails. There was no blood there, and when she looked at her hands she saw that there was no veins on her wrists, just endless scars that criss crossed up and down her arms. She struggled to remember why and realised that she had forgotten her language, she opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a strange whimpering, no words she could remember at all.

Exhausted from the night, she slithered down the tree trunk and collapsed at its feet, breathing heavily and holding onto her face. Tears welled up in her eyes and when they fell onto her fingers she saw that her tears were a strange colour, like oil in the sunlight, a whole rainbow of colours swirling together. She watched her teardrop for a while, amused by its beautiful colours, then let it drop onto the snow. She watched in wonder as a beautiful flower suddenly bloomed out of the ice before her eyes, growing from where her tear had fallen. The flower reached knee height then stopped, its pink petals opening and revealing an apple on the inside. Curios, she reached out and pulled the apple from the petals, taking a bite and grinning as its sweet flavour filled her mouth. Her sharp teeth bit into it and left odd teeth marks behind, and she ate the apple happily as she looked around her.

Beams of sunlight poured through the snow covered branches, dappling the ground with all shades of white and grey. In some parts the snow had begun to melt and grass was poking through, adding some colour to the scene. As the young woman licked her fingers she watched as a bird sang from one of the high branches, and she felt like singing along too but she didn’t know how. She stroked the flower as she listened and watched as the bird puffed out its red chest proudly, and she laughed, then clapped a hand to her mouth when she realised what she had done. She laughed again, even loader, and then she couldn’t stop. She rolled around in the snow and giggled hysterically and then more tears dribbled out of here eyes when she realised she didn’t know what she was laughing for. Upset again, she crawled back to the tree trunk and rested there, still as confused as ever.

When the bird had gone she started to shiver again, the sun moving across the sky so it shone through the trees from a different angle. She quietly watched this, stroking her blood soaked feet that had not troubled her with pain, the snow numbing her naked toes. She watched the dappled light inching slowly across the ground as the sun began to set. Feeling more awake now, she struggled to her feet and began to walk through the trees, drinking up the world around her.

She soon came to a small house nestled in the snow covered grounds, and she stared at it for a moment before heading towards it. It frightened her for some reason, but she forced her legs to keep moving, as she knew that it would be warmer in the small cottage than outside in the wilderness for another night. She pushed open the old garden gate and started up the path, reaching the front door. She peered inside through one of the windows and saw a well furnished room, though everything was dark and covered in dust so she guessed no one had lived there for many years. Deciding, she forced the door open and suddenly saw black bruises sprout up her arms and on her shoulder, and she stepped inside the gloom and examined her wounds curiously. They felt tender when she touched them, and her legs where aching from the walk.

Closing the door behind her, she already felt warmer for being out of the snow. She walked slowly into what she thought was the living room and sat down on a chair, staring at the dust that was sprinkled on every surface and noticing many cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. Exhaustion swept over her again, and she sleepily forced herself to stand before heading for some stairs, but jumped in shock when she saw that someone else was in the room.

She stared at the pale young woman, who was on the other side of a pane of glass and standing in a room much like the one she was standing in. When she moved, the other pale girl also moved. She smiled, and saw the other strange girl show her a set of sharp teeth under her white lips. Then she realised it was a mirror, and started laughing again, watching as her reflection laughed as well.

Approaching it again, she looked at herself in wonder and saw a stranger staring back, a girl with blood red eyes, long black hair was damp with ice and dirt, and pale skin that was whiter than snow. She was thin and her eyes were bright, and when the she looked closer she saw that her eyes were not entirely red, a ring of ice blue circled the startling red.

Bored of her reflection, she carried on exploring the house, touching everything like the curtains and silk cushions, and opening the draws and cupboards, staring curiously at all the shiny things that shone like stars when the coat of dust was wiped away. Soon the sun outside had set, and the darkness frightened her. She scurried up the stairs, sliding her hand over the wooden banister and she let out a scream when the stairs beneath her swayed. She only just made it to the landing above before the entire staircase gave way and crumbled, collapsing completely, a great puff of dust flying in her face. There was no way down, and a strange feeling bubbled inside of her. She hurried across the landing and went into one of the rooms, seeing a bed and quickly climbing inside it. The sheets smelled strange and felt damp but she was glad to be lying down. She clutched the blankets for a while, the feeling inside her still making her shake. She guessed it was fear.

Soon her mind calmed down and she listened to the cottage around her creak and groan, and she soon drifted, wonderful sleep overwhelming her tired body. It snowed again as the night wore on, and it piled up outside her window, and it covered the gardens outside with another layer of deep snow. The young woman slept on, dreams of being buried alive haunting her. She woke in the night shivering, and spent the next hours watching the snow fall outside.

xxx

The girl jerked awake, and she stared at the white wall in front of her nose for a few moments, breathing hard as if she had been running. She was still wrapped up tight in the mouldy blankets and dawn sunlight was flooding into the room, the sound of the birds singing outside a very welcome sound. She sighed, about to close her eyes again when a shadow fell across her, and she gasped and rolled over, squeaking with alarm when she saw a man standing in front of the open window. She stared at him with wide eyes and slowly sat up, clutching the blankets with her fists.

He was young, though his eyes looked so serious and hostile that she was unsure if he was angry with her - was this his house? Had she intruded? He was hansom too, tall, with brown hair that looked windswept. A long brown cloak was draped across his shoulders and fell the floor. He continued to stare at her cautiously, his hazel eyes almost yellow, and as she began to shake with fear she saw a flicker of something in his eyes, his eyebrows meeting together in a small worried frown.

He stepped forwards, and the girl shivered, backing away so she was pressed against the cold wall behind her. He walked towards her slowly, his boots quietly moving over the floorboards as he approached, and when he was close enough to touch her he stopped, watching her expression.

He began to speak, but she couldn’t understand his quiet words and she shook her head in bewilderment. He stopped, and thoughtfully ran a hand through his brown hair before sliding down to his knees, so he was now at her eye level. He reached out to touch her face, his expression pleading, but she felt rising alarm and she snarled between her teeth and knocked his hand out the way. She gasped when a black bruise suddenly blossomed on her arm, even though his hand had not been hard to move. She had forgotten how weak she was. He looked at her with slight alarm but did not seem angry. He leaned back slightly, and put his hands on the edge of the bed, away from her to show that he wasn’t a threat.

And for the first time, she looked at him. Properly looked at him, and he let her, he stared steadily into her eyes as she stared into his. She saw golden flecks surrounded by hazel, and with his eyes he showed her his soul, he let the barriers fall away and she saw deep aching sadness there, and guilt, and loneliness. She saw him as a small child, terribly honest with his eyes. She gazed at him for a long moment, then he looked away, and she saw his shoulders slump and his old expression return, the one he had worn before, the seriousness and the hostility. She realised she had stopped breathing and took in a deep breath, and that seemed to bring him back.

He leaned forwards, taking both her hands in his. She flinched, but he did not let go. Without taking his eyes off her, he leaned forward and pulled her towards him, so there faces where inches apart. His face was still serious, but his eyes had melted once more and they were pure again, and she closed her eyes as he put his cold forehead against her frozen one.

From the moment his skin touched hers something inside of her shifted, and her mind was suddenly swarmed with words, her old language. She struggled against his hold as pain ripped through her skull but he held onto her tight, not letting her move her forehead away from his. His skin felt warm. She opened her eyes and saw him in front of her, incredibly close, his nose touching hers and his eyes closed, his face full of concentration. More words bubbled inside of her, and she shuddered as her mind reached breaking point, the pain almost unbearable. Just when she thought she was going to collapse he let her go, and she fell back and hit the pillows, gasping and clutching her face.

"Are you alright?" he gasped, and she looked through her fingers and realised that she had understood him, and she nodded, gulping. He was leaning against the bed frame, breathing hard and wiping the sweat from his forehead. He had turned ghostly pale since the last time she had opened her eyes.

"What...?" she clasped a hand to her mouth. It took her a moment to get calmer, to stop her heart racing - could vampires have hearts? She shuddered, the strange word that had just sprung up in her mind frightened her.

"What did you do to me," she said slowly, stumbling over the words slightly. He looked up and a flicker of a smile appeared on his lips "What do you think?"

"I can talk... and I can understand you," she said, slurring her words slightly. Her tongue didn’t seem to want to form words.

"Yes," he said smoothly "I hope it wasn’t too uncomfortable for you, for that I apologise,"

The girl shook her head, still holding onto her forehead. It burned.

"We must leave," he said, his voice serious again. She looked up, and felt a flicker of disappointment when she saw his face harden again. He stood up, and moved over to the window, closing the curtains.

"Don’t worry, I wont let you go near the light," he said, his voice emotionless "I know it can hurt,"

"How?" The girl asked, still getting used to her new speech. "How do you know?"

"I will explain later," he said, and she didn’t push it. He didn’t look like he was in the mood to answer questions.

He bent down and reached into a travelling bag that the girl hadn’t noticed before. He pulled out some clothes and threw them at her, and she flinched away from them. They were mens clothes.

"Again, I apologise," he said "I'll leave while you get changed, meet me in the hall,"

He left, softly closing the door behind him. The girl stared after him, wondering what was going to happen next. She shook her head, trying not to let that thought break her. Her mind, newly flooded with words and confusion, and still no memory of her past life warned her not to follow him, he was a stranger. But the memory of his soft but harsh eyes made her heart want to trust him, and she looked down at her rags and felt that her heart was beating, fighting, even if there was no blood to pump through her empty veins. This didn’t worry her. She couldn’t remember it any other way.

She dressed, sniffing the clothes he had given her and finding that they smelled quite nice, a homey sort of smell. She looked in the dressing table mirror and smiled, she looked much better after the nights sleep, though she was still bone pale and here eyes were as red as ever. She pulled on the small black cloak and hugged herself, still freezing cold. She could almost see her breath.

She walked across the room and slowly opened the door, it creaking with protest. He was standing there, his back to her, looking down at the broken stairway. He heard the door and turned around, and without a moments hesitation he walked towards another room, one at the front of the house. She followed, and halted when she saw him trying to force one of the windows open in the large bedroom. She backed into the a hallway and said shakily "What are you doing?"

He ignored her, and when the window finally opened he stepped back and began to climb onto the windowsill, pushing the melting snow off, and saying without looking at her "Could you get me my bag?"

"No!" she said, "N-no... Im not going out there,"

"We don’t have time for this," he sighed angrily, standing up on the windowsill and leaning forwards. The girl thought of going over to him in case he fell, but he glanced at her again and she sighed angrily and went to get his bag, returning and handing it to him. It had been heavy and now her arms aked.

"What now?" she asked anxiously. She was still getting used to the new information buzzing around her head, all the words and the new ability to string them together.

"You've got to trust me," the man said slowly, watching her carefully "You must promise me that you will not move,"

"Bu-"

"Please!" he interrupted harshly "You’ve got to trust me,"

She didn’t have time to think, to even nod, because before she could even gasp he had pulled her close to him, holding onto her waist tight as his skin suddenly glowed white, his eyes freezing over and turning pearly white. His body froze as well, but turned to fire beneath the her skin and she let out a cry of alarm as his body disappeared in a blaze of light, and then she felt something else under her skin, feathers. He had transformed into a giant bird, the size of four horses, enormous. His golden eyes where the only thing that had stayed the same, but now they were large and animal. She screamed again with fear and felt harsh wind blowing into her face, and she looked around her and saw that she was outside, on the giant birds back as it soured through the air, its huge outspread wings beating against the air to climb height. She hadn’t realised he had pulled her out the window, and saw the house below her falling away, the curtains from the open window rippling in the cold breeze. She saw the grounds of the house and the trees and the surrounding forests, all covered in a blanket of melting white snow so it was speckled with shades of dark green. Then the sunlight hit her and she cried out in pain, and her eyes burned like fire. Then the smothering darkness of uncociosness swallowed her.

xxx

The girls eyes flickered, and she smelled something sweet. One side of her was blazing hot while her other side was still quite cool, and she opened her eyes and saw a camp fire close by. It was dusk, and she was lying on the ground, on something soft, and a blanket was over her. She could see the stars beginning to appear through the trees high above, and the sound of the forest around her was drowned out by the gentle relaxing crackling of the fire. She couldn’t help smiling slightly as she dozed off again, she hadn’t felt this warm in so long and she was incredibly comfortable. She was about to drift off again when she heard footsteps coming towards her, and her eyes flew open when she saw the man again, back to being a man and no longer a giant bird. He walked past her, completely ignoring her as he went over to the fire to stir the pot that was sizzling over it. She propped herself up on one elbow and stared at him for a few moments, at his serious expression and shadowed eyes. He looked annoyed about something.

"Umm..."

"I got this for you," he said, not meeting her eyes. He threw something at her, and she shrieked in fright as a dead pheasant landed on her lap. She pushed it off quickly and cried "Why did you do that?"

He looked at her for the first time, his eyes confused for a moment. "Its for you to eat,"

"Im not eating this," she said loudly.

"I don’t quite understand," he said, an edge of frustration is his calm voice "I have spent the last three hours hunting down that bird and you refuse to eat it?"

"That’s right," she said, glaring at him. He sighed angrily and stood up, walking over to her and snatching the dead pheasant up. The girl shrank away from his aggressiveness and said "Why can’t I eat your food?"

He looked at her again, less irritated now "Because it is my food. You cant eat it, you wouldn’t like it,"

That confused her for a moment. The thing cooking in the pot smelled so wonderful that it was making her stomach grumble - why wouldn’t she like it?

"What am I," she said eventually. He looked up and stared at her for a few moments. Then he said gently "You don’t know?"

She didn’t say anything. It was his time for talk, it was his turn to explain. He sighed again, sitting down close to the fire and putting the pheasant back in his bag. He pondered for a few moments, staring into the golden flames. The sparks reflected in his eyes and made them look even more alive.

"I don’t know much," he said slowly "Just that my father witnessed something he called a miracle. He was there the other night, when you transformed, he saw everything. He said... that it was impossible for you to have survived,"

The girl was silent. She thought about what the young man had just said and it puzzled her. When she transformed... was that what it was? Was that what happened when she felt all that pain?

"I remember... some things," she whispered "Its all so... fuzzy,"

"Try," he said softly "See if you can remember anything,"

She thought about it for a moment. So many images flashed through her mind, it was making her dizzy "I was underground," she said "I can’t remember how I got there... I don’t know, I felt like I hadn’t been there for long... I was still alive somehow. Then I remember hearing something underneath me... it scared me, and I tried to get out, to get away from it. Then the noise came closer, and i felt hands... pulling me down..." she shook her head.

"When i was in your mind," the man said "I found it hard to find anything more than your language, your past life was buried too deep for me to reach,"

"What?" the girl stared at him "You were in my mind?"

"I had to," he said bluntly "It was the only way to make you remember. I needed you to tell me what happened, but when I found you didn’t even know your own name..."

"I don’t know it," she said slowly "I cant remember..."

He nodded, but said "It will come back to you. Your old life it just locked away in your mind at the moment, but it will come back to you, you will remember. The pain of your transformation wiped your memory, though it is not lost,"

She held her head in her hands, rubbing her temples, her mind buzzing. "I remember them biting me," she said quietly "I felt my... toenails being ripped away,"

He looked uncomfortable at this, and she looked up from her hands and said softy "I felt them kissing my ankles, then... they bit them too. I tried to scream but there was no air to scream with... they began to..."

"Suck the blood out," the man said quietly, and she nodded, her hands shaking with the memory of it.

"I began to dig my way out. It wasn’t far, but they kept pulling me back down, there was more than one, their skin felt so dry and their teeth were blunt... they must have crawled up through the earth to reach my feet. I was almost near the surface when I felt my heart started to slow down... I knew I was going to die... and then I felt my body... change. That was what hurt the most, I must have screamed then, I felt some air around me..."

"And then you crawled out," he said, finishing her sentence. They were silent for a few moments, then she said "I think I know why the... vampires didn’t follow me," she shuddered "I touched the stone. It was above me, a huge stone that and as soon as I did that I transformed. They sort of... disappeared when I touched it, back down to were they came from..."

The man nodded, his face thoughtful and uncomfortable. He avoided her eyes as he said "Sleep, your transformation has made you extremely weak. You need your rest,"

Her stomach rumbled again, but she lay back down. He carried on stirring the pot as she stared at the tall tree trunks around them, bathed in orange light from the fire. They looked quite frightening, the shadows flickering where the light couldn’t touch.

"Here," the man said, giving her a bowl "If you want it still,"

The girl sat up and great fully took the bowl of food from him. He gave her some bread and she ate the soup hungrily, her stomach untwisting itself after so long of hunger. The man stared at her for a few moments, and she felt embarrassed and ate more slowly. He went to get his own food and sat on the other side of the fire, prodding the flames every now and again to keep the fire roaring as he ate.

"Will the fire keep animals away?" she asked after she had wiped the last bit of soup up with her bread.

"I'm not worried about animals," the man said quietly. She stared at him, waiting for him to carry on, but he didn’t. She lay back down and began to doze off again, her stomach wonderfully full so it made her feel sleepy. Her heart felt better for it too, more alive, stronger. The memories she had just remembered didn’t haunt her like she thought they would, she was too tired for that.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked before she would forget.

"Ok..." the man said warily.

"What is your name?"

He didn’t answer at first. She turned her head to the side and saw that he was poking the fire again. She was about to repeat the question when he quietly said "Robert,"

"That’s a nice name," she said, yawning. In that next moment she was asleep.

xxx

"Hey - wait!" He cried, jogging up the road to reach her. The pretty, plump girl turned around, sighing but smiling, and said "I’ve got to get home, Lile, dinner isn’t going to cook itself and mother wont be happy if im late,"

The young man reached her and smiled, making her heart flutter. He was hopelessly hansom and tanned, so different from all the other boys in the village. He flexed his muscles proudly, he had won competitions with his incredible strength. He looked at her hungrily and said "I’ve got something for you,"

Jessica smiled. He had got her immediate attention, she simply loved presents and loved even more the attention it often brought. She batted her long eyelashes and said "Oh, something for me?"

Lile reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold chain, and her eyes widened when she saw the small diamond hanging off it.

"Its beautiful!" she said, admiring how it glinted in the setting suns light.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," Lile said quietly, and she beamed at him, putting her shopping basket down to take the necklace from him. But he snatched it out of her reach, holding it high before saying "not unless you kiss me,"

She stomped her foot playfully, and said "I couldn’t do that,"

She didn’t even know him that well. He was a foreigner, and had just arrived in the village last week to start a new life with his family. He had a silky gorgeous accent that made all the girls in the village hang off his every word, but so far he had not given any of them the time of day. He was only interested in Jessica.

"Just one kiss," he said, grinning.

"I cant, mother waiting," Jessica said, though she knew that mother wasn’t expecting her for hours.

"You kissed Billy," he said, his mouth tightening in anger. "And I hear you have also kissed Charlie - have you kissed all the boys in the county?"

"No!" she said, but couldn’t help smiling. She was the most popular, prettiest girl in the village, and she loved how all the boys would do anything for her kiss, which often meant squabbling between them.

"You know that im dating Richard," Jessica said, picking up her basket again. She didn’t like how Lile was looking at her, it made her uncomfortable and she said "I must get home-"

he grabbed her arm, roughly pulling her towards him. She dropped her basket and the bread and sugar spilled out across the ground. The road was deserted so she couldn’t scream for help.

"Just one kiss," he said dangerously, leaning towards her. She squeaked in fright and said "No - stop it-"

He forced his mouth on hers and grabbed the back of her head so she couldn’t get away. She pushed him away with all the strength she could muster so he staggered back.

She quickly scooped up her broken basket and ran home, tears streaming down her cheeks and not daring to look back incase he was following her. Once home she fell into her mothers arms and wept, her mother asking what on earth happened to get her into such a state. Jessica was ridiculous at keeping secrets and blurted it out between sobs, and in her anger her mother got her bread knife and threatened to murder the man. Jessica soon calmed her mother down, saying it was her own fault, she had been flirting.

"Jessica!" her mother shrieked, and her daughter flinched "Your father would be turning in his grave - how could you! How could you the family name, you are not a child any more, you cannot go around flirting with any man who is within a ten mile radius!"

"I'm sorry mother!" Jessica wailed, and she held her face in her hands and she tried to forget Liles’ groping hands and wet mouth. Her mother sighed and said "Something has to be done, Jessica. You are becoming wilder by the day - we need you married and fast,"

"But-"

"No buts Jessica! I’ve had enough of this, you are sixteen and cannot keep acting like this. You are never to see that boy again-"

"I don’t ever want to see Lile again!" Jessica said angrily "Mother - he’s dangerous, I know he is,"

"He’s just a boy," her mother sighed "Now I know that you were flirting like a tart I know now that you gave him the wrong impression - will you ever learn Jessica? Men that age only think with their trousers and you encouraging him didn’t help matters!"

xxx

The dream shifted and everything went black

xxx

"Lile - please, please no-" she begged, struggling against her bound hands and feet. Her head felt dizzy and a large lump was forming on her forehead where he had hit her with the iron bar. He had bound her arms so tight that they were cutting into her flesh. She guessed he had used wire.

He didn’t say anything. Jessica had only just woken from when he had knocked her out and she had opened her eyes to see the bright stars and she was in a place she didn’t know. he carried her through the moonlight down country lanes, taking her further an further from the village, and she was too woozy to save herself. She kept drifting in and out of consciousness.

Then she saw the house, Amber cottage, and she knew where she was. This was the place where the vampires of the past had been buried. It was a local legend and everyone avoided this place.

"Please!" she screamed "Lile - please take me home!"

She tried to push him but he just ran faster, ignoring her screams of terror. Her long black hair unrolled from its bun and swirled through the air, getting caught in her mouth as she screamed.

"Be quiet!" he hissed, and his voice was so venomous she immediately fell silent, her eyes wide as she stared at his murderous face in the darkness. He climbed over the old fence, ignoring the sign that said beware of this place, and took her into the grounds of Amber cottage. She began to shake with terror and she felt goose pimples on her skin. It was almost winter and the first snows would be here soon.

"What are you going to do!" She cried "Please - I must go home! Please don’t hurt me!"

He ignored her again, though he was soon growing tired and was slowing down. Jessicas’ heart was beating wildly and she tried to take deep breaths, images flashing though her mind of what he might do to her. She had been avoiding him for weeks now since he had brutally kissed her, and she had been stupid enough to walk home alone from a friends’ house. He had ambushed her.

Lile soon slowed down and stopped beside a large stone the size of a cow lying down. He put Jessica down on the grass where she struggled again against the wire he had tied her in. He was breathing heavily and kicked her hard in the stomach to make her stop moving. She gasped and lay completely still, and had felt one of her ribs break.

Without another word he started ripping her dress apart, and she cried out in alarm and tried to roll away.

"No!" he yelled in her ear "You are mine!"

She kicked with both her bound feet so it caught him below the stomach, and he doubled over in pain and cursed as she kicked out again, catching his hand. She was wearing boots and she heard his knuckles snap.

"Bitch!" he hissed, and he kicked her again, and she gasped and fell still again, her heart pounding frantically and her body shuddering with fear. She stared at the stars as he began to rip her dress again, a manic look in his eyes as he roughly forced his lips on hers once more.

"No!" she screamed, pushing him off her again. For a moment there she was going to give up, but fire had bubbled inside her and had given her the strength to fight. Her lungs and chest aked from the scream and she lashed out, forcing him off of her before attempting to escape, crawling on her hands and knees towards the trees. She saw something in the corner of her eye glint before something heavy came down on her from behind, hitting the back of her head with so much force that she slumped on the ground in that instant.

Breathing heavily, Lile dropped the spade and stared at Jessica for a few moments. He turned away from her in disgust and looked at the stone that was glowing eerily in the moonlight. He went up to it and started to push it, using all his strength to roll it out the way.

Jessica blearily opened one eye and felt the aking pain in the back of her head where he had hit her. She felt blood dribble through her hair and she groaned.

Then she heard digging. Fear made her shake and she turned her head slightly to the left to see Lile using the heavy spade to dig up the earth. She saw that the stone had been moved. From the moment she had seen it she had none what it was. A vampire grave.

"no..." she moaned "please, no..."

Jessica lay there as Lile carried on digging, fear making her stay where she was than try to escape again. For over an hour he angrily dug up the earth, cursing every few moments because of his broken hand, while Jessica lost more blood and tears dribbled out of her eyes.

When the time had come she didnt fight it, she was paralysed with terror as he lifted her off the ground and took her to the edge of the open grave. He kissed her on the mouth once more before he dropped her into the dark pit, and she gasped as she hit the soft earth.

"Lile," she said, pleading "Lile..."

He looked down at her for a moment, no emotion in his eyes. She had landed orquardly, her feet further down than her head, looking up at him in horror as he began to spade the earth back into the grave, the earth landing on her and started to rise. She saw the moon and the stars through her tears and felt the damp, cold earth begin to rise around her. She drifted off to sleep, excepting death that was soon to come, and woke again when she heard him throw down his spade, far above where she was lying. Smothering soil was all around her, and she was still somehow breathing by a small pocket of air that was by her neck. She tried to breath slowly but failed miserably when she heard him roll the stone back over her, and she felt the earth above her crush her even more.

After a long moment, where Jessica prayed that he would suddenly change his mind and dig her back up, he walked away. Then she heard a noise she had been dreading the most. The vampires of the past where stirring below.

xxx

The girl woke. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, breathing quickly and clutching the cold blankets around her. After a moment she realised it was just a dream, and she held onto her chest where her heart was pounding frantically. Moonlight poured through the branches, and with a jolt she realised it was the same moon from a few days ago, the same moon that had stared down at her coldly as she was buried alive. The fire had almost gone out, and she could see the small embers still fighting to burn. She saw that Robert was awake, lying on his side and wrapped up tightly in blankets. He stared at her in the darkness, his eyes’ curios and concerned, and she looked back at him for a moment before rolling over. She didn’t want to look at him right now.

It needs tons of work... please review Very Happy


_________________
SOME WISE WORDS xxx
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
lxtmidnight   View This User's Portfolio
Writer

9
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 51
Reviews: 9
Country: United States!
273 Points

PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just happened to skim through, and what everything I saw was very visual, and the imagery is wonderful! It sounds interesting from what I looked over. Sorry that I can't review right now, but I'm replying so I can easily find this piece and give a detailed critique when I get the chance ^^;

but before I run off, I did catch one little thing: in the first sentence of the 3rd paragraph from the bottom, it says "orquardly", and neither I nor dictionary.dot.com have heard of it. Is this supposed to be "awkwardly"?

I look forward to reading this later!

-Brianna

_________________
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
-Cyril Connolly
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
VampireBloodrace   View This User's Portfolio
Junior Writer

14
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 14
Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 47
Reviews: 14
Country: Damire - The Country of the Vampires
300 Points

PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow! I'm very impressed. I read as much as I could, but I started skimming after a while. NOT TO SAY it's boring or anything! Promise! Very Happy But I am really impressed with the details you put! I could picture everything perfectly and I could understand what was going on without forgetting what had happened before. (Some stories are so detailed that you forget what the heck the author was talking about in the first place ^_^)

This isn't the first story I have read from and I really think you're an amazing writer!

_________________
I am Carzyl.
Fear me and hate me, for I am a bloodthirsty vampire craving for human blood. My deep crimson eyes will burn away everything you hold dear to your heart. My black hair will chew away your empty soul.

My fangs will steal your life.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
xGraceex   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

76
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 18 Sep 2008
Posts: 238
Reviews: 76
Country: rainy old england
320 Points

PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:49 pm    Post subject: :P Reply with quote

lol thanks, the story is a bit random and when you do read it you might not get some things as it is unfinished - thanks for your nice reviews Very Happy

_________________
SOME WISE WORDS xxx
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
xGraceex   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

76
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 18 Sep 2008
Posts: 238
Reviews: 76
Country: rainy old england
320 Points

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:10 pm    Post subject: :P Reply with quote

is it too long?... lol i duno, can someone please read it all and tell me what you think?

_________________
SOME WISE WORDS xxx
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ATreeah   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer


Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 15
Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 139
Reviews: 4
Country: wherever i want it to be
300 Points

PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Longer than the last one Confused Very Happy dont worry i'll read it
Very Happy

_________________
ATreeah was here
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Maki-Chan   View This User's Portfolio
Ganbaru! I will do my best!
Master of the Forum

264
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 16
Joined: 07 Nov 2007
Posts: 2103
Reviews: 264
Country: USA
266 Points

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gracee can you please post this into smaller parts. I don't have a lot of free time, but I want to read this. Can you please, PLEASE do this Sad (Begging)

_________________
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988), "Job", 1984

http://maki121.deviantart.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on October 6, 2008
Post new topic   Reply to topic
   Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on October 6, 2008

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society