Topic ID: 26898
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
JFW1415
Team SPEW
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 1287
Reviews: 367
Country: USA
1002 Points
|
 Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:23 am Post subject: |
 |
|
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28900.html
Revised version of He's Just Human. It's due soon - can you give it a quick glance?
Thanks!
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
JFW1415
Team SPEW
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 1287
Reviews: 367
Country: USA
1002 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Part One
Part Two
'Cause your amazing and you love me. 
And would you like a critique?
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 5360
Reviews: 1324
Country: England
1316 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Just to let you all know that I've now got two weeks of freedom so if you have any critique requests, now's a great time to send them.
I have a list of about eight at the moment but if you give me more links then I have something to look at once I've done those and I promise that the longest you'll have to wait is three days (unless it's an advance critique or I get absolutely flooded with requests). |
_________________
Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sapphire
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 233
Reviews: 140
350 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I would really like more thoughts on this poem:
Sinking
I had trouble with it so that would really help me out.
Thank you!
 |
_________________
Click for critiques
Dancing through life down at the Ozdust, if only because dust is what we come to – Wicked the Musical |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 5360
Reviews: 1324
Country: England
1316 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I need more requests! Come on people, there's a begging permit here with your name on! I'm pretty hopeless at finding random pieces for me to critique these days and I've grown laaazy so I need you to help me out! Request a critique, you know you want to, right? |
_________________
Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
JFW1415
Team SPEW
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 1287
Reviews: 367
Country: USA
1002 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
*Poke* If you're begging...
Suicide Kills Us All
(It's a very light 'R.' Just a few swears and slutty girls saying that they love Connor.)
I know it needs a lot of work, but it's better to have a lot of opinions before I get working on editing, si?
Thanks!
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Icaruss
Disgustingly Honest.
Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 481
Reviews: 112
Country: Peru.
341 Points
|
|
| Back to top |
|
JFW1415
Team SPEW
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 1287
Reviews: 367
Country: USA
1002 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
I actually have a story that has description! Like, your level of description! And that I think needs more! *Gasp* 'tis a historical moment right here.
Anyways, I think you'll like it, and I will look forward to your details critique.
Out of Focus
Thanks so much Heather!
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dreamer
Living up to her name
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 764
Reviews: 149
Country: 3781 Luna Ave, Mars, Milky Way. ( I moved)
633 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 3:16 am Post subject: |
|
|
You asked for it, here it is.
Crit.
There, now you've something to do.  |
_________________
Uprising
Uprising Discussion |
|
| Back to top |
|
chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 1615
Reviews: 516
Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius
318 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Want to do a song? Not my best, but it's alright.
You Knew |
_________________
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry* |
|
| Back to top |
|
ProfessorRabbit
+4 to hit
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 790
Reviews: 47
Country: Dictionopolis
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Never mind. |
_________________
Frylock, please, no books! I can't read; I'm not a loser!
-Master Shake
Last edited by ProfessorRabbit on Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
Medusa
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 266
Reviews: 36
Country: the face of consumerism
847 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Kitty (:
It would be awfully nice if you critted my Dawn With Fox on my Featured Works.
hehe.
-Medusa. |
_________________
Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? |
|
| Back to top |
|
alleycat13
Now a working, tax-paying citizen
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 27 Jul 2007
Posts: 332
Reviews: 95
Country: USA, in the middle of a mitten
319 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hey, Kitty15. Will you to do me a favor and tear my poem to bits. Please?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post389949.html#389949
Thanks bunches. |
_________________
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
PenguinAttack
I'm just a pigment of your infatuation.
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 978
Reviews: 384
Country: Grasslands.
470 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Saber, love. This is rated R and it isn't fab, but I'd love a crit whenever you can get to it.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic32468.html
Life: In Which Mistakes Are Made.
*Hearts* Le Penguin. |
_________________
Insomnia: He was a wonderful writer. It is perhaps unfortunate he should have met me and become my 3rd husband. I will miss him. And the printer. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 5360
Reviews: 1324
Country: England
1316 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Okay, I'm going to make this the cut off point. I've certainly got time to do the remaining two critiques posted above but any posted after this message will probably not be done until I get back from my trip to Greece on the twentieth of July. |
_________________
Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
