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 Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:40 am Post subject: In Bohemia |
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Hello, everybody!  This is my first submission..Umm... The first part, I suppose. Enjoy and critique, if you please!
P.S. This is fanfiction in a way - it's a play version of a short story from Tales From Sienkiewicz (an awesome Polish author who I read sometimes). I just hope it's okay - I wonder if there might be copyright issues... But I don't think so. Anyways. On with it.
In Bohemia
Characters:
Vladek Magorski
Antek Swiatetski, Vladek's best friend
Kazia Suslowski, Vladek's betrothed
Kazia's mother
Helidor Suslowski, Kazia's father
Eva Adami, a good friend of Vladek
Ostrynski, the owner of a newspaper
Helena Kolchanovski
Vladek's landlord
Yulek Resinski-Vladek's friend
Wach Poterkewich-Vladek's friend
Franek Ceptowski-Vladek's friend
Sludetski-Vladek's friend
Karminski-Vladek's friend
Woitek Michalak-Vladek's friend
Bobus-Vladek's friend
Various Relatives of Kazia
Antonovia, an acquaintance of Vladek's and Antek's
Scene 1.
Vladek and Swiatetski are walking down a snowy mountainside.
Swiatetski(turning to Vladek): However did we lose ourselves? Listen, Vladek; you have the bigger talent and the world can ill afford to lose you. I will go down first. If I fall, you stay where you are until the morning. You may be able to get out of this then.
Vladek: Ah, but the path is so narrow! You will not go. I will venture myself: I have better eyes.
Swiatetski: If I don't break my neck to-night, I will surely end in a ditch some other time. It's all the same to me, you know.
Vladek: You are the embodiment of silliness. Let me go ahead.
Swiatetski: Look here, how about we just draw lots? Look how dark it has become in such a small time.
Vladek: Very well. Here are two straws; you draw first.
Swiatetski(picking one): Fu! It is the short one. Let's get going, then.
-They continue walking, with Swiatetski in front. The lights gradually dim.-
Swiatetski(getting down on all fours): I am crawling on all fours. It won't do any other way.
-Vladek follows suit without a word. After a long pause going in this fashion, Swiatetski speaks.-
Swiatetski: Vladek!
Vladek: Well?
Swiatetski: The ridge is at an end.
Vladek: What is next?
Swiatetski: Next comes a precipice.
Vladek: Take a stone and throw it down. Listen how far it will go.
-Swiatetski feels around in the dark for a stone, and finding one, throws it down.-
Swiatetski: Look out; there goes one!
-Both listen.-
Swiatetski: Have you heard anything?
Vladek: Nothing!
Swiatetski: We are lost. It must be about a hundred feet deep.
Vladek: Throw again!
-Swiatetski finds another stone and does as Vladek says-
Swiatetski: Hang it all! Is there no bottom down below?
Vladek: It's no use! We must stay where we are till dawn.
-Long pause.-
Swiatetski: Vladek, don't you fall asleep! Have you any cigarettes?
Vladek: Yes, but I don't have any matches. Have you?
Swiatetski: Ugh, no, I don't.
-Longer pause.-
Swiatetski: What is life? Life is simply pig's play. They talk of art! Art indeed! Pshaw! Art is pure ape-like imitation of Nature, and above all a rascality. I have been at the Salon twice. They have sent in there so many paintings that from the canvas you could make straw mattresses for all the people in the world. And what was it all? A speculation to stuff the pocket and the stomach. An anarchism of art, nothing else! If Art, true Art, were present, it would die of a broken heart. Fortunately there is not real Art in this world - there is only Nature. Probably Nature herself is also a piece of hoggishness. The best thing would be to jump right down now and make an end of it. I would do it if I only had some liquor. I haven't, so I leave it for some better occasion. I solemnly swore not to die sober.
-There follows a period of silence, during which Swiatetski drops a stone several times and repeats ‘No sound'. The lights begin to brighten again.- -After a few moments of dawn, Swiatetski speaks.-
Swiatetski: Fu! We idiots!
-Swiatetski jumps down from his perch.-
Vladek: Swiatetski! What are you about?
Swiatetski: Don't cry - look!
-Vladek looks over and sees that he is sitting on a rock a foot above a mossy meadow.-
Vladek: What - we could have jumped down last night and walked home, instead of sitting here cold and tired?
End of Scene.
Scene 2.
The studio/bedchamber of Vladek and Swiatetski:
Vladek: Do you remember, Antek, how we supposed ourselves sitting -
Swiatetski: Shshshshttt! Harken.
-They listen carefully to the approaching footsteps.-
Swiatetski(going over to his bed, a straw mattress on the floor spread with quilt, and getting into the bed.): It's the landlord. We haven't paid our rent in months, have we?
-The landlord enters.-
Swiatetski (half rising from his bed): I am very glad to see you - very glad. I dreamed last night that you were dead.
-The landlord gasps and watches wide-eyed as Swiatetski stretches himself at full length, crosses his hands over his breast, and continues speaking.-
Swiatetski: Thus you were lying, as I am now, stiff and motionless. You had white gloves on your long fingers, and patent leather shoes on your feet. Otherwise you were not changed.
Vladek: Dreams sometimes come true.
(The landlord rushes out angrily)
Vladek(laughing): That trick shan't last more than twice.
Swiatetski: Then I shall make three new paintings of him. They shall be called ‘Death', ‘The Last Toilet', and ‘The Awakening from a Trance'. We shall see how he likes being depicted as a cadaver in these paintings.
Vladek: Will you paint anything but cadavera? Perhaps then your paintings might be bought.
Swiatetski: Nay, friend. They are the best models, even if I don't paint from models, and the best pictures of truth. As it is, your diversity in models is enough for the both of us.
Vladek: Oh dear! I am anxious to hear what the Salon at Paris thinks of my ‘Jews on the Shores of the Vistula'. Are you not anxious about what they will think of the two cadavera paintings you sent?
Swiatetski: The jury is composed of rank idiots, and if such is not the case, then you are an idiot, and I am ditto: our pictures are idiotically painted, and their success would mean the crowning of idiocy!
Vladek: Whatever you think. I was going to ask, before the landlord came in, if you remember how we supposed ourselves to be sitting on the edge of an abyss, which proved to be a straight, level path? It may end the same way now. Though we are as poor as church rats, with the landlord all but ready to evict us, everything may take a new turn. May a mine of gold and silver open for us!
Swiatetski: You, more than anyone else, have little reason to feel happy. The day before yesterday Pan Suslowski banished you from his house and from his daughter's heart, and today, probably, the landlord will turn us out of the studio.
Vladek: Oh, had you to mention it? (He takes a crumpled paper out of his pocket)
Vladek: Here's the very note I got on Tuesday from the father of my beloved.
‘Dear Sir,
Our daughter, obedient to the counsel of her parents, consents to sever a tie which would have proved unfortunate for her. She would always find a refuge on the bosom of her mother and under the roof of her father, yet it is possible for parents to prevent such extreme possibilities. Not only your financial condition, but your frivolous character, which you, with all your endeavors, could not keep secret, induce us and our daughter to release you from your word and end all further relations, without, however, lessening in any degree or manner our good-will toward you. Respectfully,
Helidor Suslowski,
Representative of the late Treasury Commission of the K.P.' Well, I do agree that with my finances you could not tempt a dog to house with me; but what this sentimental monkey wants with my character I cannot perceive. Ah, but the thought of my Jews being evaluated in the Salon overcomes my immense sorrow about dear Kazia, at least for the time being.
Swiatetski: Here comes old Antoniova with our breakfast cakes! Now then, Vladek, you really have no right to be happy today. Why is it that you are?
-Antoniova enters with the cakes at the same time as Swiatetski's first sentence in the last line,and puts the boys' breakfast on the samovar.-
Vladek: How do I know! You will see something extraordinary happen today.
Swiatetski: Oh no! Footsteps! The landlord! There is your extraordinary!
-Swiatetski swallows his tea and hides quickly behind something, saying:-
Swiatetski: You, my dear: he loves you intensely - you speak to him.
Vladek(hurrying to hide with Swiatetski): He is dreaming of you! You deal with him.
-A porter enters. Vladek and Swiatetski run out from their hiding place.-
Porter: A letter for Pan Magorski.
-Vladek takes the envelope, opens it, and pulling out the letter within, begins to read it aloud.-
Vladek: ‘I have the assurance that my parents will forgive us. Come immediately, regardless of the early hour. We are just coming back from the trink-hall in the Saxon gardens. K.' By Jove! From Kazia!
(Turning to the porter) Dear friend! Tell the fair Pani Kazia that I will come immediately. Hold on - I have no small change, but here are three roubles. Change them, keep one for yourself, and bring me back the other two.
-The porters exits.-
Vladek: Well, what do you say to that?
Swiatetski: Nothing! Every ox finds its slaughterhouse!
-Vladek snorts and exits.-
End of Scene. |
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