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This thread was created on July 23, 2008

The Beginning After The End

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Maybe
Maybe Not.
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:45 am Post subject: The Beginning After The End

After seeing Iron Man at least five times over, I suppose I can admit I got a little obsessed. Though my love for comic book superheroes extends to a large number of them, not just Iron Man. But, after seeing The Incredible Hulk as well, I came up with the idea for this story, and I have full intentions to get it past chapter six (which is where I normally fizzle out on any story). Right now, I'm already working on Chapter Five and I have up to Chapter Two posted elsewhere on the web, but I figured I'd share it with anyone on here who decides to read it. Why not, right? So, without further ado, I give you The Beginning After The End. Prologue: I am Iron Man Tony Stark stood behind a podium, looking out towards the eager and confused faces of the press that was seated before him. He took a deep breath, no emotions passing over his face to betray him before he made up his mind. With a faint slap, the index cards he had been holding fell from his hands and onto the surface before him, a small, wry smile tugging at his lips. He blinked. “Truth is…I am Iron Man.” The small crowd that was gathered before him erupted into a frenzy of shouted questions and shoving bodies, each one trying to get to Stark. Calmly, he stepped away from the podium and made it to the doors on the far side of the room, nodding to his assistant, Pepper Potts, to follow. She obeyed, her eyes wide. Another man broke away from the struggling mass of bodies and followed as well, trotting to catch up with the fast-paced Tony. “What the hell did you just do?” Col. James Rhodes hissed in Tony’s ear. Tony said nothing as he continued walking, making his way outside only to be bombarded by even more press than before. He sighed and hung his head in obvious irritation before stalking towards the seething throng of people, light blue eyes cold and determined. With the help of security, he managed to make it through in only five minutes, dragging Pepper and Rhodes with him towards the waiting black car. Completely ignoring the bright flashes of light from the photographers and the indistinguishable shouts, questions and commands from the reporters, Tony got into the car followed by his two companions. “Hogan, take us back to my place,” came the sharp command from Tony’s lips that were no longer smiling. He cast one final glance out the darkly tinted windows as the car sped off. “Now would you care to tell us why you did that?” Rhodes asked, folding his arms across his chest and watching his friend with a serious expression. He had thought Tony a fool at times for some of the mistakes he made, but this…? Tony frowned. “Rhodey, people deserve to know the truth.” “But Tony,” Pepper began to protest, “now that everyone knows, what’s to stop some-“ Tony silenced her with a look. “I know what I did, and I know the consequences it could bring. But,” he folded his hands behind his head, relaxing slightly, “if worst comes to worst, I’ll just stay inside for a few weeks, and only go out in my suit. If it would keep you paranoid people off my back.” Rhodes rolled his eyes. Pepper turned to look out the window, watching the hulking silver buildings fly past them. Tony sighed yet again. “Look, if you’re worried about some attempt on my life then relax. No one can get in the house without Jarvis knowing. As for the press, we’ll just ignore them for a while. They have what they needed and that’s all they’re going to get until this dies down some. Alright?” “Fine,” Pepper muttered, never taking her eyes from the window. “Alright Tony, but there’s going to come a day when you’re going to regret this.” Tony gave his friend a crooked smile. “Well then that’ll be the day when you get to say ‘I told you so’.” ********** By the way, I'm just going to continue adding chapters of my story onto this thread, instead of creating a whole new topic for each chapter. I'll add the dates it's updated in the topic description.
_________________ "It's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there... I mean doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?" Note: Gone from 11/23-11/30(ish). Last edited by Maybe on Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:46 am; edited 1 time in total

andimlovegalore
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:20 am Post subject:

I've only seen the Iron Man movie - not read any comics or anything - but from the movie you have pretty good characterisation. That's all I can tell from this short chapter, and there's not much special going on here yet. I know it's just an introduction, but this is pretty much obvious from the end of the movie. Your writing style is nice, but I hope something pretty original is going to happen later on in the fic. Keep going with it though! Your grammar and everything is fine =]
_________________ "Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?" "Colon Explorer?" "You know what I'm saying." The Boosh is loose and we're a little bit raw. Free reviews! Clicky. =D

Hopless Romantic123
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject:

I love the fact that you took one of you favorite plots from one of your favorite movies and continued it. I love doing the same thing every time I finish a good book or watch a good movie. I agree that you got the characterization pretty much on the bulls-eye! Stark being carefree, Rhodes worried(as usual), and P. trying not to express what she truly wants to say. (That's just my perspective) Your grammar is fine, and the way everything is described makes sense. However, even though it is just the beginning, I really would have liked to have read a better "cliff-hanger" at the end, for example his car was attacked or P. passed out mysteriously, or maybe something not quite so dramatic. If you write another addition, I look forward to seeing where it goes.
_________________ Love is something that is given, not as an oblagation, but as a gift to another, hoping for some in return.

Sean
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Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject:

One of the few fanfictions on here I was immediatly drawn to, I think because I liked the film alot and it had something a little bit different; as in Tony Stark is not the archetypal hero and I think this is one of the core elements of Iron Man. For a 13 year old your writing style is superbly developed, I'm really impressed with it; I think these early stages, like a prologue you can't really get much of a "feel" for the story (or know what direction it's heading in) but I think you were faithful to the source materiel and as a piece of writing on it's own, as I said, excellent for someone of your age. I mean it's formulaic but that's the basis of fanfiction so that point is mute. I liked your Batman inference as well..."that's the day you get to say, 'I told you so'" Nicely done. I await chapter one!

Maybe
Maybe Not.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:17 am Post subject:

Hey, thanks everyone! Hands out free cookies Chapter One: Fury Three days. Three days since Tony had announced to the world that he was Iron Man. Three days Tony had spent working on repairing and upgrading his suit. Three days and he’d only had the paranoid Pepper and the supercomputer Jarvis for company. Three days and the press was still hounding him for more information. Three days and Tony was already starting to lose his mind. He sat in his lab in front of one of the huge computer monitors, staring across the room at the old, battered gold and red suit that had been remade and upgraded and the new suit was now sitting under his garage. He sighed and propped his elbows on the desk in front of him, letting his head drop to his hands and rubbing his temples. He wasn’t aware of the faint clacking from behind until he felt a hand land between his shoulderblades. He jumped and cursed, but relaxed as he recognized whom it was. Pepper began to massage the knot from his shoulder, following his line of sight. “No, Tony. You promised you’d stay inside,” she said firmly, directing his eyes away from the busted-up suit. “Pepper, I appreciate you trying to hold me to my promises. I really do. But I need to get out of this house.” “What, so someone can shoot you?” she asked in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes. “Listen, Pepper,” he said, spinning his chair around to face her. “I’ll make it a quick trip and I promise I won’t do anything stupid.” She snorted. He frowned. “And besides, I’m the boss,” he argued, raising one eyebrow. She scowled but didn’t have anything to say to that. “Fine, but you have to go in the suit. You have one hour, and I want a call when you leave and the second you get back,” she commanded, tapping the miniaturized arc reactor in his chest for emphasis. “Or else I’m calling Rhodes.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “Will that be all, Miss Potts?” That gave her pause. She blinked. “That will be all, Mr. Stark," she said after a moment. "And if you don’t need anything else, I’m going to head home. It's getting late.” He waved her away and chuckled. “I think I know my own house well enough by now. At least I would hope so.” She nodded and left the room, high heels hitting the stairs with a clack at every step. Tony stood up and stretched, eager at the prospect of getting out of the house. In a way, even Afghanistan wasn’t as bad, because at least then he knew he couldn’t leave without someone killing him for sure. Now, he was confined to his house in a city he knew as well as the back of his hand with, possibly, no one trying to kill him if he left. It was maddening. Tony climbed the stairs after Pepper, making his way to his room to change into the body suit he had had made specifically for the Iron Man armor so that the hard metal wouldn’t rub against his skin. “Jarvis?” he called, jogging down the stairs again once he was ready. “Yes, sir?” “Has Pepper left yet?” “She has.” “Good. OK, time to suit up. Everything functioning properly?” “Yes, sir. You had me finish the modifications on the Mark IV just earlier today,” replied the crisp British voice of the supercomputer. Tony made it down to his garage and stood still while the floor shifted under him, revealing the new Iron Man suit. It looked exactly the same as the one before it had. It took only a few seconds before Tony Stark became Iron Man once again. “Ready Jarvis?” “For you sir, always.” With a great whoop of delight, Tony shot out of the garage and into the clear night sky. He was instantly reminded of the first time he had tested out the suit, and he grinned at the memory. “Hey, Jarvis, connect me to Pepper,” Tony commanded. A few moments later a small picture of Pepper Potts jumped in front of his eyes before moving to the side. A dull ringing followed. She picked up almost immediately. “Tony?” “Hey.” “Where are you?…Nevermind. I see you.” “You can see me? Wait, where are you?" Her voice was thick with amusement. “On the street below you. Having fun?” He gave another whoop in answer and hovered for a moment, hundreds of feet in the air, before diving headfirst towards the ground. He caught sight of Pepper’s car on the quiet back street and hovered a distance in front of the small silver vehicle, only a foot above the asphalt. “I thought you said you wouldn’t do anything stupid,” she said dryly, thought he still caught a small hint of amusement behind her words. “Yeah, well, you know me.” He shot off again and hung up on Pepper, soaking in the freedom before he had to return to his empty home. He would've stayed out longer, but he believed that Pepper would sick Rhodey on him if he was out even a minute longer than he had promised. “Sir, your hour is almost up,” Jarvis informed, all too soon. “Thank you, Jarvis,” Tony replied dully. He sighed and turned around, shooting off back the way he had come. He reached his mansion and easily maneuvered the suit back into the garage before letting himself down lightly. “OK, I redesigned this thing to come off easier than last time. Lets see if it works.” Tony was right, as always. The armor came off almost as fast as it had been put on. He flexed his arms and made it up to his room to change back in the sweats and t-shirt he had had on earlier. Then it became a frantic search for the phone before Pepper had Rhodey at his door, along with half the military. “Jarvis!” Tony called, walking into the living room, still searching for the phone. “Welcome home, sir,” the AI said. Tony didn’t see the figure standing in the shadows. At least not until the man had spoken. “I am Iron Man.” There was a small pause as the man let the mocking words set in. "You think you're the only superhero in the world?"
_________________ "It's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there... I mean doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?" Note: Gone from 11/23-11/30(ish).

This thread was created on July 23, 2008	Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction	All times are GMT
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This thread was created on July 23, 2008

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