Young Writers Society

“Why fast,” says the riper mind,
“If- for all you’re worth- you starve?
Can no better meaning you find?”

But then you ascertain,
Under sundry skies,
All is same,
Clouds lie

Why are ponds reserved-
Subdued by Gravity?
For, if not, they’d be unnerved-
Free of Solemnity

Your thoughts say nothing’s real,
Your actions have no weight or gain,
All the world seems to congeal,
All you feel is numbness, pain

So exist in Sane,
Come once a day,
A place where apathy is rain-
Sit on its fray

Know the solidness of warmth,
The flaccid leaves of dying tress,
The silver-esque of mirth,
Bow to your knees

Pale warrior, gray thing of spiritual range,
Seek temporal gold,
Kill your inner sage,
Lest mediocre peace lose hold

You’re like few others
(Most would sanction not within),
You know words smother...

To be blank is to be tin

Hi there!

First off I want to say that I think this is really good. I read the first part as well and they both fit perfectly together. It's sort of like you told a story and this is the sequel to it. You did a great job running them together and not leaving the reader with any questions or confusion.

This poem has amazing imagery, along with the first part of this. I was reading through it and thinking, wow. Yeah, it's that good. The flow is great and i didn't see any place where it faltered. Keep up the good work!

Keep writing!

Considering I haven't actually read part one, let's see how this goes!
This was really good, although I didn't understand the last line fully, perhaps you could explain it?
My only piece of constructive criticsm would be to advise you to put periods at the end of each stanza. This isn't obligatory, but considering your stanzas don't lead directly on from one another this might be a good idea.
A well written poem, good job!