Young Writers Society

Batman yawned and stretched his arms; Robin did the same.
Both of them were getting tired: they're been up late again.

The bad guys had been beaten; there was nothing left to do.
What else was there to pass the time? They both were feeling blue.

Clark Kent slouched lower in his chair, and finished off his drink.
Maybe, when he'd watched the game, he'd fly it to the sink...

“Or maybe not!” he thought aloud, and threw it on the pile.
Robin giggled, Batman laughed; they'd been drinking for a while.

Then all at once the feeling changed, red lights began to flash!
Heavy steps approached outside, then an almighty CRASH!

The Hulk stomped in and raised his voice: “Get up you guys – it's day!
Time to get this mess cleared up! Guess who are on their way!”

Everyone leapt to their feet, their motion all a blur.
Batman hoovered, Robin swept, to clean up quick for Her.

They scrubbed and polished, straightened, mopped;
Tidied, neatened, freshened, stopped …
… Then dusted, ironed, folded clothes;
Watered flowers, goodness knows!

But in a moment all was clear, the evidence was gone.
The proof was cleaned away from sight – they hadn't taken long!

And when the doorbell rang at last, they heaved collective sighs.
The only thing that Heroes fear are Super Hero Wives!

I love this, very funny. These are my favorite lines:

They scrubbed and polished, straightened, mopped;
Tidied, neatened, freshened, stopped …
… Then dusted, ironed, folded clothes;
Watered flowers, goodness knows!

But in a moment all was clear, the evidence was gone.
The proof was cleaned away from sight – they hadn't taken long!

And when the doorbell rang at last, they heaved collective sighs.
The only thing that Heroes fear are Super Hero Wives!

I love this, I am going to start reading narrative poetry more!!!!

I love this! Nothing to nit-pick! It was humorous and light. A very enjoyable read.

Hi, Charliezard!

I love it. xD Especially the ending. Your rhymes are tight and the flow is overall really good -- the only thing that kind of bothered me (but not too much) was the longer stanza toward the end. Even though the rhythm in it was nearly smoother than the whole rest of the poem, it was slightly strange how you only had couplets in the poem until suddenly there's this long one.

Also, I probably shouldn't let the fact that you have "Her" where it actually should be "them" bother me too much -- I'm really just going out of my way to find something constructive to say about this, since it was such a fun read!

I'll be looking forward to your NaPoWriMo


Demeter
x

Charlie II wrote:They scrubbed and polished, straightened, mopped;
Tidied, neatened, freshened, stopped …
… Then dusted, ironed, folded clothes;
Watered flowers, goodness knows!

But in a moment all was clear, the evidence was gone.
The proof was cleaned away from sight – they hadn't taken long!

And when the doorbell rang at last, they heaved collective sighs.
The only thing that Heroes fear are Super Hero Wives!

That's so funny! I liked this poem! It was so cute!

Charlie II wrote:Batman yawned and stretched his arms; Robin did the same.
Both of them were getting tired: they're been up late again.

The bad guys had been beaten; there was nothing left to do.
What else was there to pass the time? They both were feeling blue. Later on you say Clark is there as well, so you might want to change this word to 'all'.

Clark Kent slouched lower in his chair, and finished off his drink.
Maybe, when he'd watched the game, he'd fly it to the sink... I don't think you need a comma here.
“Or maybe not!” he thought aloud, and threw it on the pile.
Robin giggled, Batman laughed; they'd been drinking for a while.

Then all at once the feeling changed, red lights began to flash!
Heavy steps approached outside, then an almighty CRASH!

The Hulk stomped in and raised his voice: “Get up you guys – it's day!
Time to get this mess cleared up! Guess who's are on their way!” Maybe you should cut out the 'are'.

Everyone leapt to their feet, their motions all a blur.
Batman hoovered, Robin swept, to clean up quick for Her. I don't think this makes sense.
They scrubbed and polished, straightened, mopped;
Tidied, neatened, freshened, stopped …
… Then dusted, ironed, folded clothes;
Watered flowers, goodness knows!

But in a moment all was clear, the evidence was gone.
The proof was cleaned away from sight – they hadn't taken long!

And when the doorbell rang at last, they heaved collective sighs.
The only thing that Heroes fear are Super Hero Wives!

This line rocks!




OK, there was harldy anything worng with this poem. And I liked it, it was funny, upbeat, and kept me laughing. There a just some grammar things that I would change, but even if you don't this poem still rocks, I just thought I'd point them out. One thing aboutme is that I'm honest, and I really think that changing those things would make the poem better, but then again, if you don't that's alright with me to.


Keep Writing!,


HorsebackWriter

I thought this was so funny! haha.

The only thing that Heroes fear are Super Hero Wives!

I loved the last line!!

This is the greatest poem to ever be written ever.

That is all.

hey... It was such a funny and good poem that I just couldn't find anything wrong... very well written:)

Hey there.

I love this. I’m a big fan of comic poetry and light-hearted stuff, so this ticked all the boxes for me. The concept is brilliant and it flows perfectly, good job, you should be very proud.

The only thing that bothered me was the longer stanza at the end, it just messes up the structure a bit, besides that very good.

This is a very lighthearted, humorous story! Love it! And oh-so-true!

It's so funny and simple and oh so GREAT.

I was kinda hoping for Wonder Woman to be the one at the end. XD But it was still amusing!

Wow! I am a big fan of comical poetry (although I can't write it at all XD ) and this was absolutely amazing! I couldn't find anything wrong with it, so congratulations on a fantastic and entertaining piece of work: you should be very proud of it!
~strawberrypop13

i liked your poem very much. i love comics and the fact that you made it into poetry was very interesting. very good descriptions i must say. although this is some errors but not enough to take away from you poetic genius. lol keep up the good work