Young Writers Society

This is a poem in tribute to a great song - The Piano Man by Billy Joel. I hope I've done it justice. Let me know what you guys think

There's a rhythm in the air;
the kind that is seldom heard.
A tune so harnessed by care
drowning every hatred word.

For this tune, it is pleasing
to the ear and to the thought.
Its listeners now healing
from the battles life has brought.

A tune so ever forgiving,
turning every man's regret
into shards of cigar shavings
And drops of laboured sweat.

A tune, so reminiscent
sparking all the old wise men;
to recall the good times spent
with their once younger brethren.

The pretty girls blush away,
as the tune follows their glance
to eager hands, proud and brave,
proposing a couple's dance.

Dreamers who once abandoned
their hopes in drunken despair
now claim their faith as hardened.
Their resolve, beyond compare.

There's one man behind it all
where atop the stage he plays;
never failing to enthrall
his audience from their daze.

For they know not to worry,
they are in for a delight.
So live, dance and be merry;

the Piano Man is here tonight.

Brother! Hey!

I've never heard the song but I read your poem and I wanted to! I don't have any critiques because the poem seems amazing just the way you've written it! So, I'll tell you what I liked about it.

Your rhyme scheme was really good and the poem flowed well too. The description was amazing and I could just imagine the whole scene. Though, I'm not sure if that still counts as imagery. But, yeah, it was a wonderful poem and I really liked it a lot. Sorry if I wasn't much help. But, I can truthfully say, my bro is a really good poet.

~Hermy loved it~

Murtiii! This is a beautiful poem you have here, and you're always saying how I'm talented but you, sir, are are very good poet indeed! I too have not heard the song but I believe if I had, I would have said that your poem has done it justice! Lol. I love the rhythm and flow of your poem and my favourite stanza is :

A tune so ever forgiving,
turning every man's regret
into shards of cigar shavings
And drops of laboured sweat.

I simply love the imagery you use here (and throughout the rest of the poem, too). The tone you use/your narrator uses is so soothing and merry and intruiging. Beautiful!

One nit-pick:

Dreamers who once abandoned
their hopes in drunken despair;
now claim their faith as hardened.
Their resolve, beyond compare.

Lose the semi-colon. That's all there is to edit.

Your closing line is lovely and ends your poem perfectly, in my opinion. I wouldn't want to tell you to change anything because I believe poets write what they want to write, so don't change anything, Murt my boy.

Well done and keep writing!

Hey Murtuza!

I love the song The Piano Man and I think you did a great job for it. The poem was really nice and I could easily imagine as part 2 of the song. The last line was a very great ending.

This was a really short message, but its here anyways!


Deanie x

Hey Murtuza! Dogs here! May i point out that this is, in my opinion, the best poem you have posted on to YWS! I loved it loved it loved it!!!!!! sounds sooo smooth (partially because you are using my second favorite rhyming scheme) and everything just fits in together perfectly! I especially enjoy the imagery you pour into the readers mind with your descriptive words, painting out a picture of the piano man playing, and it's like i can hear the piano play which is, i hope, one of the things you were trying to convey.

Weellllll all and all this was great! Keep up the good work!!!!!!



TuckEr EllsworTh

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
I think my jaw is is dropped all the way to the floor, and I'm drooling right now. - This poem is AMAZING! I can't even tell you how much I enjoyed it!

I wanted to tell you which of the verses was my favorite, and this is what I came up with, because I just love all of your verses so much!

Your writing style is very flawless and graceful, and I can't wait to read some of the other things you have written!

Thanks for the adventure!

This flows so good together, I love it. I can image someone singing it like ever so lightly. I like it. It's soothing in a wordy way. I like the choice of words also. So simple then can be bigger words to make it sound fancy like. Well anyways, good word. I like it, as I've said. I hope you continue to write because you're very good at it and yeah. Otay, bye.

Hello friend

I love, LOVE, LOVEEEEE this song. And this poem is so amazing. I had goosebumps the whole time! Great job, you really captured the entire scene I have in my head when I think of Piano Man. It's one of my favorite songs to play and listen to. I really don't have any negative comments about your work. You did this well.

~Jess

Wow. That's all I can say. Wow.
This poem is amazing. I don't usually read poetry and if I do, I don't read the poem all the way through. It's not one of my favorite things to do. But when I started reading yours, I just had to read the whole thing. You sure captured my attention.
Don't change a thing poem/story/whatever-you-call-it wise. Listen to the grammar corrections the others gave you.
I also listened to The Piano Man. Amazing song. .

For they know not to worry,they are in for a delight.So live, dance and be merry;the Piano Man is here tonight.

Fantastic ending sentence.

I really enjoyed reading this poem. There isn't really anything that I would change and I think it's quite uniqe
Really good poem <3 good work!!