Young Writers Society

I'm done.

The final bit of tape on the box.

It's over.

Now, I must wait.

A sad little box,
full of love and happiness.
Of what was,
but sadly, cannot be.
What one day, hopefully,
will be looked back on,
and bring a smile to her beautiful face.

All that's left are the bits,
of wrapping paper that weren't used.
Tossed aside and thrown away,
They will only ever see the darkness of landfill.
But the box,
that pristine, elegant box,
it's lucky.

The wrapping paper,
it looks at it in envy.
Wishing that, it too,
could be part of Christmas.
But no, this time,
Both our stories,
Must end.

This made me extremely sad and pleased at the same time. I applaud you for it takes talent to make a person feel two emotions. I love how it was so basic, but had so much depth underneath. Even the format was interesting. It almost looks boxy, just like a Christmas present. You have factored simplicity and a holiday cheer in a short and sweet poem. It was wrapped up nice and tight. Well done.

Hola:)

I must say, this was a pleasure to read. It was very smoothly written and conveyed the point nicely.
I like your wording for the most part, and how you managed to give a dramatic edge to a regular occurence.

Just a thought:

It's over.

Now, I must wait.

I like that first line, but "over" seems a little underdramatic. Maybe "finished"?

And "Now, I must wait" just seems out of place to me. Waiting isn't mentioned anywhere else. I think it could be left out. If you don't want to leave it out, though, I would make a whole sentence out of "It's over, now I must wait."

Awesomely done! Thanks for sharing!

-Laminated