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Steampunk slums and pink cities, oh my!



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Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:59 pm
Hasi says...



Hallo hallo, Hasi here. I'm new to the site but I'm familiar with the community and what goes on. I'm really excited to be here come jumping into a novel project!

Anyways, I would love some advice on a plot I've started. It's been a bit of a difficult subject for me as far as specific points and ideas, but I'll give you the gist.

The plot takes place hundreds of years after our time and existence. Welcome to the new world: a place where each and every country you know has had its downfall. In the ashes of the old world was built a new one. A bit of a unique approach, to say the least. Steampunk slums, a city entirely pink, towns big and small of all different cultures and government authority. It's a mouth-full to explain, and sadly I'm no concept art kind of gal, but there are truly no limits to what I've come up.

The main character is a sixteen year old girl, who happens to reside in a powerful 'capitol' city, where the form of government is a bit complicated. Her father rules as a king, and she, the eldest daughter, next in line after her mother's death years ago. Things get complicated when her father is assassinated by someone in the city, and that certain someone plans to do the same to her. Germany, whose name is ancient and strange to most (and happens to be a land from ages ago), flees the city, knowing danger still lurks in her home and too afraid to step up as a queen so young.

The plot then starts to pick up pace. She manages to bump into a group of young adults, all convicts and on the run, who take her in, unaware they are giving refuge to a princess-queen with a bounty on her head by the new head of her city. A mystery antagonist, yes?

There's so much more to the complicated little bugger, but that's as much as I feel I should share right now less I get interest. Opinions? Is this something you would pick up at a bookstore? Any suggestions? I'd love to hear them all.

Thanks for giving my silly ramble a look!
“Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power.”
― John Steinbeck
  





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Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:58 pm
Iggy says...



Well, doesn't this look pretty interesting? ^^

I have to say, I'm a bit shifty about some parts of this. You should flesh this government system out before you start appointing people as king and whatnot. Because you say Germany lives in a capitol city and yet her father is king? Of the city? So every city has a king?

Running away because you're scared to be in power is pretty common. I haven't seen this in steampunk though, so hopefully you make it unique. ^^ As for a band of bandits? Too common. Please don't tell me she's going to fall in love with the leader.

I think it looks good so far. A good hook, but I'd like to know more before I'd buy it. Perhaps a better description of this steampunk world and how it looks might be an even better hook. But what you have so far looks great. :)

That's my 50 cents. Sorry if it isn't very helpful. xD
“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
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Thu Apr 24, 2014 1:19 am
Hasi says...



Thanks for replying!

To address the government / authority wise issue, it happens to be where I'm having trouble. I picture this world where it's all separated in terms of towns and cities; but it also takes place in a setting where while there is technology, not so much advancement like what we have now. No phones, no computers, no democracy. Germany's city would be a bit like Britain; the queen doesn't make all of the decisions, but she is viewed as the head. So the king in this little city of her's (I may change it to kingdom, I really haven't decided, it's a hard concept right now for me) is the ruler, but he has a council and such. So some cities, such as corrupted ones, have no authority, while some have kings/queens. If that makes any sense?

I'm happy to inform you she does not fall in love with the leader. If a band of criminals sounds common however, I'm proud to call it that, just because I love my group of babes and how unique they all are to one another. The 'leader', which I suppose you could call him that although these guys are all friends, not followers to some big and bad gang boss (keeping in mind they are all in their teens), does in fact despise her for most of the book. He has another love interest who (spoiler) dies, and while the two do form some sort of close relationship afterwards with complicated teenage mushy feelings, (another spoiler hah..) they go their separate ways.

Thank you cx Now as for the world, it isn't all steampunk. It has a lot of different themes depending on the place. I'm drawing up a map and such, but it's really all jumbled in my head right now.

No no, it was very helpful! Thanks again.
“Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power.”
― John Steinbeck
  





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Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:13 pm
eldEr says...



To address the government / authority wise issue, it happens to be where I'm having trouble. I picture this world where it's all separated in terms of towns and cities; but it also takes place in a setting where while there is technology, not so much advancement like what we have now. No phones, no computers, no democracy. Germany's city would be a bit like Britain; the queen doesn't make all of the decisions, but she is viewed as the head. So the king in this little city of her's (I may change it to kingdom, I really haven't decided, it's a hard concept right now for me) is the ruler, but he has a council and such. So some cities, such as corrupted ones, have no authority, while some have kings/queens. If that makes any sense?


Ooooh, worldbuilding! Okay, so the thing about having everybody be off in separate cities is that, technically, the world is still operated in such a way. Now, back in the day, they'd often have kingdoms that consisted of one large city, surrounding smaller towns, and the farmland that spanned between and connected them. And they did, actually, even have kings of smaller cities (usually very poor kings, and they didn't involve giant palaces so much as a larger house).

Anyway. The things that you can do with a government system are pretty much endless. With your set up, it would make sense to say that the cities are split into larger countries, and each one of those countries has a power who's higher than the king (you could use a word like 'empress' or 'emperor,' even though that's not technically what those forms of power are, or you could make up a word!). Either that, or you could change things up a little and say that the leader of the country itself is the king or queen, and those who rule the cities are steward/esses.

The countries would probably be divided based on the landscape. Rivers, mountain ranges, even forests, can mark borders for the larger kingdoms. The edges of farmland, etc, etc.

Start with your governments, and figure out the existing systems, basically, and then move onto cultures and words for your classes and rulers. I never decide on terms for royalty first, because they're subject to change as the type of culture evolves with my line of thought. It kind of messes you up, if you do xP
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