Young Writers Society

OK, I had this idea for a video game once, but I'm thinking of making it into a novel. Here goes...
Plot:The world is divided into two peoples: the magus (who can wield the natural forces to do they're bidding, like being able to teleport and go invisible) and the BWO, or better world organization, who despise all things unnatural and use the highest pinnacle of technology. The story starts with the BWO sending a large army to a magus town, as part of a huge offensive. It ends in huge disaster; almost everyone is destroyed. A young apprentice enginer survives, and teams up with a young girl, part of the Magus (but he doesn't know). Together, they make it to a desert town (with no alliance). But, when the guy realizes he's traveled with a Magus, he stabs her at night. The gods punish him for what he did, and he ends up in limbo with the girl. Together they escape, and work to stop the fighting of BWO and the Magus.

I haven't worked out the kinks yet, but I plan to have a lot of action, unique magic and technology, and a lot of interesting settings (mostly in limbo).

Please, tell what what you like and what you hate, and feel free to give some more ideas. I really need everyone's help to make this story awesome.

It sounds like a great action adventure. For ideas, I'll try to help with those when I'm not tired but for advice.
Remember to show and not tell. I have a few adventure stories and its hard to have fight scenes when the "show not tell' rule is applied.

You should do a point of view from both characters, on and off. Maybe chapter one will be from the main guys point of view and chapter two will be from the girls point of view. (Just a thought)

You also might want to add a few more characters on the side to make it interesting. I get bored from books a lot when its just:
chapter 1- the main characters background
chapter 2- the main character makes a friend
chapter 3- action!
chapter 4- action!
chapter 5- action to the extreme
chapter 6- someone dies
chapter 7- the end

although that might work in some cases. You should write a synopsis about your story

By doing this, you can revise your story as much as possible and also know your story beginning to end without having to writing it all down first.
The synopsis is pretty much the chapter summary.
So you have chapter 1 through chapter whatever and you give the summary for each chapter. Its a really good tool but you may even be like me and have to revise your synopsis!

Any other questions, feel free to PM me!
Goodluck =)

Thanks for the help! I'm going to work on a prologue soon (I should be working right now). I thought up a few more characters today (which I'll post if more people like the story). I'll probaly write a synoposis soon. Thanks again!

It sounds interesting.

One thing though, you said the magus wield natural powers...but the BWO hate all things unnatural and use technology. Technology IS unnatural, and your description of magic is that it's natural- so I guess the BWO don't despise the unnatural, but rather the natural...I guess what I'm saying is, be careful when you word it in the story to make it clear. I know what you meant, but I had to think it through, and it sounds like that's the basis for the entire story.

It's definitely a great idea though. It's absolutely something I'd be interested in reading. I always like stories that bring technology and magic together.