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Finally starting something new.

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Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:20 pm
ShadowPrincess16 says...



Recently, I started a new novel. It's book one in a series and for a while it was going really good. Now, however I can't figure out where it should go from here. in the novel itself. So far, what I have is this:

"Prologue​



Lightning lit up the midnight sky, turning it a brilliant purple. At the same exact moment a floodgate opened and rain began pouring down, soaking the solitary figure of a girl sitting upon a rock. She didn't seem to notice the sudden downpour, her vivid green eyes stared straight into the sky as though waiting for something to drop out of it. If anyone had been around to see her, they'd notice the blood that dripped from her mouth, and the venom-laced tears that rolled down her ivory skinned cheeks. But the truth was that there was no one around to even notice her presence. Maybe, even if there had been someone around to see her, they'd fail to notice her. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be safe from the prying human eyes that would undoubtedly stare.

​As a human, she'd never been particularly beautiful. Her hair had been the one aspect of her physical appearance that she'd been able to say was beautiful. It was waist length, straight, and a brilliant shade of blood-red. Girls everywhere had been jealous of her hair and she'd loved being the subject of that envy. After all, it was the closest she'd ever come to feeling beautiful. Until he came along. With the arrival of Damien Darkvein, my whole life changed. He was beautiful, ethereal almost. No one knew his story, or anything but his name really, no one but her. He'd shared everything with her and in return she gave him her heart. They dated for a short time, six months, before he told her the one thing he'd kept at bay: he was an Undead Shifter, an immortal race of beings that descended from both Vampires and Shape-Shifters. Oddly enough, she hadn't been afraid or even disbelieving of his confession. In fact, she'd wanted to know more. She was his soulmate, he said, and he wanted to claim her as his own. She agreed to his demand and they set the date to transform her from fragile human to invincible Undead Shifter. The plan had gone without a hitch...until the last second.

​Her parents had come home early from their anniversary dinner and things had gotten out of hand. Damien had been forced to hide in the shadows and watch as she destroyed her family. They'd been chased out to the beach by Hunters where she was shot. It wasn't a mortal wound, but she couldn't Shift with a wound in her leg. After making sure the Hunters had been killed Damien took her to safety and took off into the night sky to gather the rest of their Clan. She'd been waiting for six hours now and she was starting to get worried. Her eyes watched the sky anxiously, waiting for the familiar sight of Damien's Black Dragon. For several minutes there was nothing except for the lightning that occasionally lit up the sky. "

Any suggestions?
Once you did something for me, more meaningful than the greatest of deeds, you held me in your arms and let me cry.




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Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:09 pm
kasimkaey says...



This is just my opinion but don't you think this has been done before? Like a lot? I personally know a friend who reads these types of books and she's currently in, I think, a book that is the seventh of a series exactly like this (girl falls for vampire thing) and it's the fifth series of the genre she's read, not including Twilight.

That said, everyone has their own thing they like to write about and this is yours and I respect that.

Is this just a prologue you've written then? Have you not thought about a plot yet or were you just freewriting?

Here's some ideas that may help you;

If this is directly after she killed her parents, you can have her do one of two things - 1) kill herself and then shift the book to Damien's point of view or 2) have her be all sad about it and then exact revenge. Neither are very original ideas, granted, but this isn't an exactly 'new' genre.

Alternatively, you could have this prologue as a sort of flashback and now she's some sort of vampire assassin type thing looking to get revenge on Damien for doing what he did to her, and letting her kill her family.

I guess that's all I can think of right now. Hope it helps.

Kaey.
'Do or do not, there is no try.' Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.




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Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:49 pm
ShadowPrincess16 says...



Thanks. Your view does help a lot. Mainly because you viewed Thorne (my MC) as a human girl when she wasn't, in my eyes. I'm currently revising my prologue to include the fact that she was, by birth, a faerie. (Not sure which kind yet, I'm still researching that part for the final draft.) She's not going to be angry at Damien because he is her mate, and her parents were Immortal Hunters (a race of Faerie Royalty whose sole purpose is to find and kill Immortal Shifters) and therefore would have killed Thorne. :-) Thank you for your input.
Shadow
Once you did something for me, more meaningful than the greatest of deeds, you held me in your arms and let me cry.