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Young Writers Society


YA/Horror/Urban Fantasy



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:22 am
fight4whatisright says...



deleted
Last edited by fight4whatisright on Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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373 Reviews



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:30 pm
PrincessInk says...



What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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32 Reviews



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Points: 997
Reviews: 32
Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:30 pm
fight4whatisright says...



PrincessInk wrote:What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.


The first one is probably 13+. No swearing just violence.
The second one is 16+ for swearing and drug use.

Thanks for letting by me know about your accidental edit when I saw it I was really confused haha
  





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Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:53 pm
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PrincessInk says...



Thanks for the answer! I'll start reading this as soon as I can.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Gender: Female
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Sat Jul 29, 2017 1:53 pm
PrincessInk says...



Sorry, but I'd like to let you know that I probably can't read your book now (or the near future). I'll try to get to it but it might not be for a while.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:05 pm
PrincessInk says...



Sorry for the triple post but I read chapter one and thought I'd leave a note:

I like Alexis's voice here because it's imbued with her personality. It's quite sassy and teenage (like a YA protagonist?) and I enjoyed some of the similes she used. Prose-wise, other than a few typos you can probably notice after another read-through, I think it's pretty polished, with plenty of strong verbs in both description and action. I also thought that using bulging veins and dialogue to show Russell's anger was a clever move to avoid writing "Russell was irate".

One thing that caught my eye was that (as of right now) Russell and Isabelle and Mum feel...rather 2-D compared to Alexis. The nasty sibling, the abusive father (and abused mother?). I don't need to know right now (or ever), but I think there should be a reason why Isabelle treats Alexis like dirt. Just food for thought, but does this relationship continue from before Russell met Mum? Another thing was that I found it odd that Mum just stepped back when Alexis and Russell confronted each other and Alexis rushed out. I thought that perhaps she'd try to stop Alexis from hurting herself, to plead with Alexis to comply or something like that.

Nice hook at the end ;)

Anyway, I'll be going on later and remember that everything I say is just an opinion from one reader! :D
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:35 am
Lumos says...



Hi fight4whatisright! Are you looking for beta readers to get feedback on your novel or are you looking for anything specific?
  





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Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:34 pm
Radrook says...



PrincessInk wrote:What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.


Anybody can jump in and mess with anything posted there?
“Defamation; is an act of impiety.”
― Kristian Goldmund Aumann, The Seven Deadly Sins
  








Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold