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Cooking the Books: A Tale of Hansel and Gretel

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Sat May 07, 2005 1:21 am
Rei says...



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Last edited by Rei on Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Sat May 07, 2005 4:30 pm
Armadian says...



I liked this.I haven't realy heard Hansel and Gredel before.But this is good I mean great.
How can you prove that we exist? Maybe we don't exist...




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Sat May 07, 2005 5:31 pm
Muse says...



I found a few errors while reading..

"desparate" should be "desperate"

In the sentence..
"Sooner or later the witch would realize that were were fooling her about Hansel not getting fat." You wrote "were" twice.

"Oh no! I though. two days." Doesn't make sense. It should probably be "'Oh no!" I thought. Two days." Unless you meant "two days" to be thought as well.

"WHy may have gone hungry for a few days, but somehow we would have survived. " Doesn't make much sense either, and you shouldn't have capitilised the H in why.

"That stove is pretty big, I realized." Should the "that stove is pretty big" not be in speech marks?

"You'll net be leaving this house without me" should be "not".

"Let her cook us this one last meal for us" Sounds a bit odd with two "us". It sounds better as "Let her cook this one last meal for us"

and also..
"circomstances" should be "circumstances"

Thats about it. Most of them are probably just typing errors, but remember to check your work properly before posting.
"Sometimes we see a cloud that's dragonish,
A vapour sometimes like a bear or lion,
A towered citadel, a pendant rock,
A forked mountain, or blue promontory,
With trees upon't that nod unto the world,And mock our eyes with air.."




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Sat May 07, 2005 9:13 pm
Rei says...



Are my words without typoes really that forgetable? I was on a library computer and would have been cut-off if I took the time to proof read. I'll fix it now.
Last edited by Rei on Sun May 08, 2005 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"




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Sat May 07, 2005 10:50 pm
lon_205 says...



I really enjoyed reading this, just your spelling was a little off putting. The context was great though :D I like the idea.




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Mon May 09, 2005 8:17 pm
deleted6 says...



Reichieru wrote:Are my words without typoes really that forgetable? I was on a library computer and would have been cut-off if I took the time to proof read. I'll fix it now.
I never really thought wat Gretel could of been thinking but by golly that was an intresting way of putting it.
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