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Young Writers Society


tapioca as a semiconducting material



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150 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 13173
Reviews: 150
Sat Dec 10, 2011 4:51 am
perdido says...



TAPIOCA AS A SEMICONDUCTING MATERIAL pt 6

1

Gomez winked at me with coffee ring eyes

no you cannot have any juice

psychokinesis, Scully!

I have been a soldier in water gun wars
fought in foreign countries, Gomez

canned vacuum, dust swarms like bees

on the TV stand where you left your cup

he isn't my brother but I willed him my monocle.

2

Gomez has been a student of the three
hat karates. The karate of the baseball cap
used best in frozen food aisles at supermarkets,
the grocery store stance makes my ass look fat.
The karate of the deerstalker best used
on falling ladders. If this is your style of choice
avoid long dark women and snowmen wielding
corncob pipes. The karate of the greek fisherman's hat,
the art of wielding candle smoke and door hinges
use this style east of the Mississippi and beware a man
with a prosthetic leg and

why did you just draw on my computer screen

3

on an aircraft carrier six hundred miles away
off the coast of australia the captain's phone is ringing
sorry I have to get this.

4

ever since the computers took over:
take the stairs.

it is bring your kid to work day today
please remember that it is wrong to indoctrinate your children

honey, please ignore the robots.

calling someone a sweet potato is not endearing

oh no Mulder's having problems with the chain of command
again

when they are in bed together at the end of the episode
he whispers. It is 1993 and this kind of technology is ten years out

he looked angry after the phonecall
but the captain didn't say who it was
my webcomic debuts eventually
http://vanmen.tumblr.com/
my blog updated occasionally
http://unmagnificent.wordpress.com/
  





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26 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1521
Reviews: 26
Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:51 pm
pyro says...



Hey there, doll. My name is Pyro, and I will be reviewing your piece today.

Tapioca as a semiconducting metal. I'm an engineer, so that title instantly drew me in. LOVE the title.

Unfortunately, I cannot honestly say that my love of this piece extended far past the title. You had several interesting thoughts in the beginning, but that was it. THOUGHTS. Separate, independent, choppy thoughts. You didn't have any factor drawing them together, you blatantly refused to stitch your convoluted craziness into coherency. Please understand, though, that crazy is good. Crazy is unique, individualizing, and marks you as the person you are. This piece though. . . . To me, it reflected more that you were lacking in the refined ability to transition and communicate your insanity to the general populace.


I really wish that I could give you a more satisfying review upon your piece, but the title is all you have going for you.

.........Really. The title. I'm serious.

I really hope you improve on your ability, friend.

Yours,
Pyro
"Beer is living proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin
  





User avatar
150 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 13173
Reviews: 150
Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:31 pm
perdido says...



there are threads, you have to find them.

as always, I enjoy your honesty.
my webcomic debuts eventually
http://vanmen.tumblr.com/
my blog updated occasionally
http://unmagnificent.wordpress.com/
  








All we can do is our best, and hope that it was enough.
— CandyWizard