Big smiles of innocence,
He hadn't yet discovered tears,
This little guy surrounded by darkness.
But what one doesn't see,
One doesn't fear.
The big illusion of happiness,
In which she had covered him well,
Deceived his big curious eyes.
In the meantime she burdened herself,
With the things she didn't dare tell.
'Cause how could she explain that his Father,
In his eyes a flawless man,
Was taken to prison to never return again.
Where should she get the courage from,
To tell him it was because his daddy killed eight men.
His swing hasn't moved in days,
He sits by the window with questions in his eyes,
"Where is my daddy?"
She keeps carrying around with the burden,
Because she doesn't know what to say.
I have to say ultimately it was a good read, and although the story line is pretty simple, putting it into poetry worked really well here. I think I'd have to agree with Jagged, although I think for such a short piece, this kind of works. Overall, I like your writing and you put together a really nice piece here. Personally though, I've never been a big fan on the whole poetic-sad-story, calling-him-daddy thing, but that's just me, so kudos to you for pulling it off! Haha. I think you have a nice poem, but like Jagged said, I'd like more of it shown to me than told.
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Points: 374
Reviews: 165