Young Writers Society

Dear Period,
You unpredictable, natures' pet.
What did I ever do to deserve this treatment?
My pants won't fit, I'm bloating fast
My body aches, I need a cast.
The pain, it spreads
Like frost in the freezer
Like chocolate on a babies face,
Crippling my body, mind, and soul
Helpless in the fetal position, withering away.
Moaning, groaning, crawling across the floor
Whispering a silent prayer that seems to get frozen in time
Not reaching the heavens to bring me sweet relief.
Then out of the darkness, my God reaches down
And takes away my suffering with a wave of his hand.

Wow, how gross to talk about such a topic..lol. This is the first time I've ever seen anyone write about PMS on this site. So that's really brave of you to do so. This was written very well, if not completely gross. Also, if you get pregnant you won't have any periods for 9 months..lol

Hello.

I'd like to see what a boy would say about this. Haha. I can imagine them reading this and going 'huh'? I think it's absolutely wonderful that you're writing a piece on this topic. I remember reading a piece on this site as well comparing her period to a snake stuck in her gut.

I disagree with the reviewer above. This wasn't gross at all. You wrote about it with skill, in fact, if you didn't state that it was about periods this could be any poem about suffering. I think it's very well-written. I always find it amazing when people create poetry about the mundane, and in this case, irritating parts of our life.

I think your last two lines didn't really match the rest of your poem. I guess it seemed an appropriate end to the suffering of the rest of the poem, but an appeal to God and him answering your prayer seems a bit too much.

Love to read more from you.

--Nixie

I saw this title and laughed. I like how relatable this poem is (for girls, I mean), but at the same time, I felt you made it a tad dramatic. The beginning was fine, but the end was where it got to be too much to me.

Crippling my body, mind, and soul

I don't know what sort of hell you go through, but my mind, body, and soul doesn't get crippled once a month.

Anyways, this was great. Cheers

Sheesh, makes me grateful I'm not a girl.

"Liked" this! Honestly, you summarized it so well. When you're having your period, you just want relief as soon as possible, and you were able describe it so well that I actually felt pain associated with "that time of the month". Great work!!
Keep writing,
-Jane

(By the way, Master_Yoda, be glad you don't have to experience our pain.)

yes while the piece is very well written and described I rolled my eyes big time at the crippling mind line. Even if it does feel like this for you almost no women have cramps that bad and thus you alienate your audience (in additiion to it being a fairly female orriented piece to begin with)

Still, this is a slightly humorous, well written, and original poem and you bring style and prose to it, despite the odd subject matter. You use great wordplay to get us to feel the pain here. :]

Two words: AMEN SISTER!!!
I know how you feel, and this piece couldn't be anymore truthful. Some might think it's gross, but that's just how women work. You showed perfect understanding of the topic you were writing about (why wouldn't you you're a girl!!) it gave a perfect definition of the pain and suffering that us females have to go through. It reminded me of this one time at camp. A bunch of guys were saying that they have it the worst, and when I said otherwise, one boy said,
"Well, you get to give birth!"
see the irony?

You unpredictable, natures' pet

yep, that pretty much sums it up right there.

Moaning, groaning, crawling across the floor

I loved the way this line flowed, I know how painful it is, but it just made the whole ordeal sound so poetic.
That's all for now! Can't wait to read more! Keep on writing!!

Haha, you're really brave to write about a topic like this! It's something like.. half of the population on earth should be able to realte to yet it's such an uncommon theme to write about.

You've summed everything up very nicely in this poem.. It's quite uncomfortable to read somehow even though the rythm and flow was very good. Great, great imagery I love the part with chocolate in a kids face

For the bravery of writing this, for the amazing imagery and for fact that it was good! Here you go 4/5 spiders!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Hajaha! That was pretty hilarious, I have to admit, even though there is definitely nothing hilarious about periods. But still, you did an amazing job at catching the emotions and feelings that I'd say every teenage girl has to suffer through. I noticed that "natures' pet" the apostrophe should be before the s, unless you are saying there is more than one nature, which doens't quite make sense. I love how you use exaggeration to make it all sound so much worse than it really is. The crawling across the floor part was great. Also, cheers for being girl enough to post this, haja. Anyway, it made me laugh (although only because I am not having a period at the moment). Overall, this was awesome. Good job!

A fitting poem, to be sure. I like the metaphors, and, nice title You're very brave to write about such a thing! I think you've captured that awful pain really well.

Hey butter!

I really liked this poem. It was amazing and very easy to relate to. I find it kind of humorous now that I think about the fact that poems on these kind of subjects are so rare. But you were bold and posted away anyway! o good on you!

Deanie x