Young Writers Society

What I Think About In Math

I was sitting in math the other day,
Pondering about where
Your virginity goes
Once you lose it.

(Also, is ‘lose’ really the right word to use?
It isn’t like car keys,
Or that sock that goes missing in the kerfuffle
Between the washer and the dryer.)

Will my virginity
Float up to heaven
And wait for me with all the others?
Wrapped in a fluffy, white robe,
Sipping a Shirley Temple,
It shall lounge.
The romantic in me,
Wonders if the virginities of soul mates
Find each other, in heaven or in hell.

Will it burn in hell
Because my honor was stripped
Before I was married?
Will it hate me for my haste?

Finally I understand nuns.
My innocence is like my best friend.
I think that I should feel lonely
without my virginity.

This surprised me. I hadn't expected the direction this took at all! Ha ha, I do this in math class too, I swear it's an STD (story-transmitted-disease). But, naturally, your poem is not at all related to such silly subjects. Anyway, this is really creative. At first I had the sense that this wouldn't really get anywhere, but it was almost a random stream of thoughts that you finally managed to condense into a really good point (with a small sense of humor, naturally). It ended on a pretty stellar note too. *Liked.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Well that was...unexpected. In a good way, though, for the most part at least. Once you said "pondering" I was expecting some really deep, insightful, math-related thoughts. And while this work is still decent, it's not math related, at all really.

This is not a bad thing, however. The change of direction really surprised me and thus every line felt pretty fresh and original. The repetition of the word virginity is both good and bad; bad because it doesn't really have a flow that fits well into many things, but good because that's really the point of this work in the first place.

The ending actually reminded me of Elaine from Seinfeld, in a weird sort of way. It basically ended on a boring note, and then when I went back and read some other lines I chuckled a little, because it's a pretty humorous piece. I especially commend you on the fact that you didn't make the last stanza 5 lines, with the last consisting of simply the word "virginity". Now THAT would've bugged me.