Young Writers Society

Pen it as light as a sandstorm,
Write it as witty as a duck.
If we're not laughing,
We're probably barfing -
Being morbid is trying your luck.

Write a disgusting ballad,
Forget being politically correct.
You may gross us out,
Just don't rant on about
How that last ice-cream made you regret.

Bend your words with a spanner,
Knead your grammar like dough.
But don't make it too grand
For us to understand -
We're only human, you know.

Get us to grunt like hippos,
Get us to gargle like sharks.
If you can't do that,
You should eat your own hat.
If you can - then you've got full marks!

I very much enjoyed this poem, it is completely true. Poetry is about writing what you want to, and having fun with it. This poem really spoke the truth. Keep Writing! -Tori

I think this is awesome, double for ryhming, something I can't do myself.

Hey, barefootrunner!

This is quite an interesting piece, especially because you've played with the words really well and the poem in itself is a good lesson. All trufax, no doubt that you've presented here and I hope more and more people will come to read this piece for its witty charm and message.

Talented. Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

Hello there, Runner. I'm Rose, and I'll be reviewing this piece today!

This is a very cute, unique poem. Well, perhaps 'cute' wouldn't be the right word for it, but it's what came to mind immediately. I love the lighthearted feeling of this piece. It made me smile at some parts, and I always enjoy when a poem makes me do that. Very nice!

Write a disgusting ballad,
Forget being politically correct.
You may gross us out,
Just don't rant on about
How that last ice-cream made you regret.

This is definitely my favorite stanza, and I'll tell you why. It's the cleanest stanza of your poem, and it still sticks with the off-kilter feeling of your poem. I love the words 'disgusting' and 'ballad' together; I don't think they would've worked in any other poem than this one but somehow, they just work.

As much as I like this poem, I have a couple of criticisms, the first of them being the capitalization of this piece. It isn't necessary to capitalize the first word of each line; aside from it being grammatically incorrect, it makes the poem look choppy to the reader. However, if it's a strong personal preference of yours to capitalize the first word of each line, stick with it. If you like it, it's okay.

The second issue I find with this poem is the rhythm. I felt like you lost it at some parts, particularly in the next-to-last stanza. It's not a huge issue, but it's there. I might spend a few minutes thinking about how to make it flow better.

All in all, awesome piece. Always keep writing!

-Rose