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Young Writers Society


Wishing Well



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70 Reviews


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Points: 1778
Reviews: 70
Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:17 am
WrittenInStone says...



Spoiler! :
Hi, to all those reading and/or reviewing this poem I'd like to ask a bit of advice for the punctuation. The format of this poem is a bit strange and I'm not exactly sure how to punctuate it. As well I'll mention that it is not meant to rhyme, so please don't note that it should. Thank you, XD
~ Written.




Wishing Well

Seated upon a yellow hill, of grass brittle gold,
the past encased in worn stone; memoirs of long ago.
Relic of ancient memories, frozen in time's embrace.
Holder of hope, cradle of wishes; shan't forget meaning.
Quiet laughter, children's feet; climb those ruined walls.
Echoes of coins tossed into it's embrace; lost in murky waters.
Whispers of secrets told before; may each be lost now?
Only once you were remembered and again you shall be forgotten.
To fly away on gossamer wings, sheer as night's reflective glow, I would could I cradle child hecate to my breast.

|| Wisp. ||
  





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Reviews: 60
Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:44 pm
BrokenSkye says...



I like the way you wrote this poem. I think that it is simple and beautiful. I also like the way that you described exactly where the wishing well was. I also believe that your punctuation was just fine.
Seated upon a yellow hill, of grass brittle gold,
the past encased in worn stone; memoirs of long ago. This would have to be one of my favorite lines!
Relic of ancient memories, frozen in time's embrace.
Holder of hope, cradle of wishes; shan't forget meaning.
Quiet laughter, children's feet; climb those ruined walls.
Echoes of coins tossed into it's embrace; lost in murky waters. I think that this is one of your best lines.
Whispers of secrets told before; may each be lost now? Along with this one.
Only once you were remembered and again you shall be forgotten.
Spoiler! :
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If you love something let it go, if it comes back, it's your's.
  





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Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:29 am
TheRose says...



Echoes of coins tossed into it's embrace; lost in murky waters

I believe the right word is "its"

It's only a suggestion, but the flow of the poem would be better if instead of "murky" you wrote "muddy"



Besides these small corrections, I liked your poem because we write in a similar style. It was small, but it had a meaning and I loved the closing line 'cause there is just so much emotion in only 11 words. As for the punctuation, I'm really sorry but I can't help 'cause I don't know if I'm going to be right about it.
there's a feeling I get when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving.
  








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