Young Writers Society

Those born at the end of an era
Look back.
Those that look back
Can never move forward in this sea
Of time.

The wind may blow, the clouds may change.
Those fated hands may turn endlessly.
And even if the sands strip a thousand years from
Those youthful eyes,
That gentle face,
So that only withered bodies remain
They will stand still.
While the cracks appear. Shattering.
Crushing. Destroying.
The mirror of the past,
Welcoming the new era.

The shards reflects one’s youth,
One’s treasures, hopes and dreams.
But the sea is unpredictable, its wrath
Will eradicate all of them,
Leaving those born at the end of an era
Stranded.

For there is no ship to carry
Those born at the end of an era
Down the sea of time.

W.O.W. Really. That's awesome! Before I begin the rain of praise (I sometimes get a little carried away, though I'm not by any means saying that I don't mean it all, because it's all more than well deserved and I do!) just a couple of minor pointers- when you write 'the sea's', my opinion is that 'the sea is' fits better with your writing style, and it would perhaps flow a little better, but as I say that's just opinion. Secondly, 'a thousand years of'; I don't quite follow. A thousand years from maybe fits better, although I recognise that seeing as I didn't fully see how 'of' fitted the sentence correctly then my latter comment may well be void. Overall, however, I really, really, really, really liked this poem! Really!
I happen to be one of those people who doesn't necessarily leap on the band-wagon at every given opportunity, preferring to reminisce and enjoy times now past, so for me it's a beautiful poem expressing sadness, yet with an undeniable fact at the core; change or be left behind. People always seem to look to the future, instead of looking back on the incredible feats their surge forward has left in its wake, and this poem expresses an affection for those who do look over their shoulders perfectly. Of course, I may be entirely wrong in my outsider's interpretation, but nonetheless I find this a moving and gentle poem, whose too-true message could not fail to brush the heart of even the eagerest progressor.

I really like the way the poem portrays so much and how it allows the reader to imagine what the meaning might be behind the words. Really well thought out, and very insightful too!
The only slight criticisms I have are that when you say "A thousand years of those youthful eyes" I think it would make more sense if you said "a thousand years FROM those youthful eyes". Also, when you say "the sea's", maybe saying "the sea IS" would sound a little better? Nonetheless, I really like your style of writing, so keep up the good work ^.^

I loved it! The topic was wonderful and it flowed very cleanly. It had an air of mystery about it. I just have a few suggestions that might help you. It sounded, forgive me, a little unnatural. It was deep and thought-provoking, but it sounded a like you were trying very hard. Try positioning some lines before or after others...I'm sorry if this does not help you. Please dont take this the wrong way. It was excellent!