Young Writers Society

Anger brings blood
Rage hides our tears
The heart knows our sorrows
Hate lives in fear.
This world is darkness
As black as our hearts
Life is the killer
We've known from the start

Hai!! Welcome!! Okay down to your poem. Dislikes in green Everything else is blue

Anger brings blood
Rage hides our tears I really enjoyed this line
The heart knows our sorrows
Hate lives in fear.
This world is evil I'm not to sure about this line. It says the world is evil, though if you were to look hard enough could you find no happiness? No goodness, not even a little??
As black as our hearts
Life is the killer This is my favorite line !!
We've known from the start

Okay so I really liked your poem your, really very good. Like I said I loved the seventh line. Okay BAI!!!

thank you! I didn't like the "world is evil" line either so I changed it. you coments were helpful, and again: thank you dasiamari!

Hey, I love this poem so much. You have good choice in words!

this is good

Dear Broken Angel,

I really liked your poem! Although it was brief, you did a very nice job with the rhythm and rhyming. I loved the concept, however, my one suggestion is to add on and make it longer. That way it gives the reader more to think about. Also, if you have time you could add some more emotion or background into it (i.e. how the anger is caused, you mentioned start so maybe you could mention an end?) Keep up the good work!

For someone who's new at this, you clearly show potential! I love how throughout the poem, though it was short, you were not at all repetitive. My only advice would be to try and lengthen, and possibly add a little more depth to your words to help get whatever your point may be across. Other than that, this was lovely and I'm eager to see what else you've got written!
Keep Writing.