Young Writers Society

A Stupid Shopaholic:

Walking through the streets,
watching strangers do their job.
Some are laughing out loud,
some are handicapped;
and others are buried in blindness.

What disgusts me most,
is how the girls squeak over the trend.
"Oh my God! That is the latest fashion!"
"That top is so shiny. I so want to buy that!"
"Give it to me! I saw that dress first!"

Can't they just work it out?
For God sake, try to understand;
that it is just a polished fibre!
Why do such girls have to act,
like a stupid shopaholic?!

To think they actually,
spend a whole credit card on clothes.
Oh why, couldn't you buy something worthy?
Like getting gifts or giving money to the charity,
instead of acting like a stupid shopaholic?!

Please, stop this fuss now.
I cannot bear it anymore!
I wish I could move on,
but how can I, when girls;
act like a stupid shopaholic?!

---x---
END. ^o^

ChocoCookie wrote:Walking through the streets,
watching strangers do their job.
Some are laughing out loud,
some are handicapped;
and others are buried in blindness.

I don't think the word 'some' was the best choice, but feel free to keep it that way if you'd like
as for the rest of the poem, I thought it was well written and I loved the point you put across! "squeaking" was a PERFECT word for those stupid girls! Fantastic job. Keep it up

like a stupid shopaholic?!

Is a good repitition, as it is also alliteration.
I can't say I agree with your theme, at all, but then, that's cause I'm a shopaholic, so presumably, I'm at a little bit of a bias.

Still, your poem is funny. It's almost comical, and I don't know if you meant it that way, but I like it!
I like how you're bringing in the things we should care about such as in stanza one:

some are handicapped;
and others are buried in blindness.

So allover, it was a nice poem. Lighthearted, deeply thought out...

Well done.

NightWriter x