Young Writers Society

This was just something I did for fun, so I realize it's not perfect and the flow may be off. Tear it apart if you'd like, but I kept help but smile every time I look back on it

When I’m lost or feeling down,
I can’t always count on a friend to help turn my world upside down
They’re always there and they always say,
“How can I help you today?”
I can talk to them for hours,
And my world feels like nothing but flowers
I can’t help but feel this love is real,
And I can never imagine living without them
They’re always there when I need to heal

This friend can take me through time,
To the dinosaurs, captain Kurt, or even last week
They can be true or fake,
But to me I can never hate
They can be down,
Or they can be happy
Sometimes it depends on my mood,
Other times they do their own thing

This friend sometimes consists of a paper or pen,
And other times it’s in the palm of my hand
I can talk to this person anytime day or night
Three in the morning, or even at a bad time
This friend never complains I never stop,
And no matter how much I use them,
They’re guaranteed to never pop

Oh, writing, how I love you so!
You never put on a show
You keep me sane when I clearly am not
And you help me out when I find myself caught
No one understands why I love you
But they also don’t understand why I’m always so blue
Don’t they know I sometimes want to scream,
But vent my feelings to someone who will listen instead?
They don’t understand what I mean

So no matter where my dear friend takes me,
I will always go
I can be in the snow, yet always be warm
I can go back in time,
And never leave home
Writing is something I will never give up
Writing is something I will always love

Hey Star!

This is pretty amusing! I didn't get that the friend was the writing until the last couple of stanzas where you explicitly mentioned it, though I did wonder why you were using some of the wording that you were.

I have to say though... sometimes the wording was creepy. I mean, friends are great and everything, but it seems so idealized at times that it seems a bit insane and rather creepy. When you realize that it is just writing, it makes a little more sense, but while you're still getting to that part it's a little bit creepy. Not so creepy that it makes you scared, but creepy enough so that you wonder what is going on in a confused way.

So... I think you should either make it less creepy so that it is easier to swallow when the big shock and awe comes (so that when the revelation comes it would make you smile) or you should make it so creepy that it kind of makes you uncomfortable (so that the ending brings relief). To make it less creepy, talk less of it being so idealized and talk more about your feelings. If you want to make it more creepy, make it sound like voices are possessing you. I kind of want to see it more creepy, since I am a glutton for creepy works, but if you want, you should see what you can do!

Also... when you talk about the writing bit! I think it would be better to make the ending a little more abrupt. I don't know... when you go on about writing for three stanzas, the shock of it being writing is gone and so then it becomes an ode to writing. Which is good and everything (I personally love "Ars Poetica" poems) but it seems like two different poems instead of just one. So, I think it might be better to make this two different poems... an "Ars Poetica" and a poem about your friend.

Anyway, a couple of ideas for you! Happy writing!

Hi Stargazer!

I liked the idea of your friend being writing! I was glad you didn't give it away straight away, that made it more entertaining! The timing is a little off in places, and the first stanza is in rhyme and then the rest seems to stop rhyming.

stargazer9927 wrote:I can’t always count on a friend to help turn my world upside down

That second line confused me. Before you said yo were already feeling blue. So then your world is already upside down... So shouldn't it be: I can't always count on a friend to help turn my world back around? I might be wrong, but I'm just adding it.

Deanie x