sometimes all we have is dust and feathers and its easier to etch ribs into the dirt with our nails than to plant seeds we cannot be sure will prosper; the rain has its own path to follow we are promised nothing
3/12/2024
Last edited by fatherfig on Thu Apr 11, 2024 8:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
thank you so much @ailahevelynmae ! I'm just as eager to see your poems! I mean just look at your wonderful thread the disease of overthinking.
twisting fingers into trimmed hair i cut away the edges so they dont cut me first i can at least ensure i dont hurt myself my mirror sees me in glimpses a dark haired young man full of feathers he is my favorite artpeice; i pulled myself from the canvas you created i did not ask if you liked what you saw and yet hate is what you gave me; a plea for me to change myself to be worthy of you i only want to be worthy of myself; to trim away the excess in my own way so i dont fit your standards
i am the one who lives in this body some birds speak like men are they human they may walk and speak but they are fowl you have ensured my survival is that love putting a roof over my head and feeding me isnt love a mockingbird is not a man with feathers your love is empty like squawked words and like crow tracks in sand the wind changes it
3/14/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
his reflection is also in my mirror bringing tears as his hands gently ghost my arms he holds me up when i cant stand with a far away touch his silhouette always by my side, his grey eyes brushing our sorroundings blond and black strands of hair gently cradling his chin pouting lips giving concise words of council his hands are large slender and made for guitar strings he plays my heart like a therimen his arms extended cautiously the sight of him and the trail of his voice conduct a rhythm im lost i dont know how to be a person who cares for a person my heart aches to sing when he isnt near my heart aches from singing when we are
i will be your song bird but there is always a winter what will you do when i forget how to sing and its too cold for me to fly away
3/14/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
motivation is like pine needles its evergreen (until its not) burnt orange crumbling into pencil shaving peices that dissipate into dust my favorite book had a person who became green trying to paint themself black the ash in their eyes clouded it all made everything dark
made everything broken like pine branches dehydrated in a fire wrap my hands around the coarse bark and pretend its still burning (twist the bark off get splinters in my hands)
stick my feet in the ashes stomp until i find live embers (or at least cut myself)
if i burn myself alive im still a phoenix
im still alive (everything still looks black)
im still alive i cant stop breathing in the smoke
im still alive (this isnt a wild fire its a world burning)
im still alive where a world burns a new one is born
im not a pheonix im just a crow
a raven is much too noble (everything is black)
and the splinters in my wings no longer ache
(they burn) but im still alive
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
i saw myself yesterday and i was scared i didnt recognize him
his joy his eyes his chest his hips his waist his freedom
i tried to crawl back into my cage i tried to look wrong again i tried to return to the broken body image i tried to hate him too
im too terrified of loving him because what if he is only in my head what if no one else sees him what if in their eyes im just a petite doll with blushed cheeks and in my eyes im a thin crow boy with lovely dark eyes
i think i would rather pluck all my feathers and swallow them than live like that again
4/6/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
contemplating what it is that makes me seem like a person to other people its definitely not the way i am
my eyes well with unshed tears with no reason to be there but no reason not to be my arms droop with lack of energy my friends leave knowing nothing is within me
i am a ressounding chamber echoing lost melodies of ages past
and voices i hear in the moment when the sound is lost
i am lost
i do not exist otherwise
and yet i am still here after they are gone
4/6/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
i hear knocking from the washing machine like things inside of it want out (relatability comes in odd measures) existence is a knocking an insistent knocking at several doors at once a begging (please afford me resources i dont afford myself) a whisper from behind the door (no you must afford your own first) but i cant (but you must) and we do it's damning how it happens after we are sure it wont (when we lose hope in living but we are still alive; its a semblance of strength) this has nothing to do with stones or feathers (the knocking of the washing machine has stopped) the knocking in my rib cage continues (even when it seems no one will answer) i will answer
4/11/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
gemmmm you are one of the poets i look up to and your napo thread makes it clear why the creativity of your imagery and metaphors !! and wordplay and soundplay ahhhh. all the corvid references are super cool too!! :3
i'm only the worst parts of Hermes winged sandals black from spite i sell my enemies half truths and abrupt dishonesty they do not deserve the honor of truth the honor of olive branches was never offered here if they want immunity i suggest they bathe in the styx i hope the water shields their lungs since breathing the same air as me clearly insulted them dove wings simply don't sweep down as harshly corvids carefully choose their friends
4/13/2024
Spoiler! :
<333 thank you so much @Spearmint it made me so happy to see your comment on my thread, I hadn't found any of my poems particularly good this year and you made me realize I might be being too harsh with myself <333 I do love corvids and @Corvid is also awesome so i will be attempting to bring in many more of those. However I don't think I have properly explored my crystals motif yet so I will be leaning towards that a bit more
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
i wear a rose quartz necklace for good days i haven't worn it in a while (perhaps i'm afraid the magic is gone) i sat it in the windowsill to charge (maybe i know purifying it will take weeks) the rose stone is not all the good in the world it is the deflecting of the bad in most ways It's a highlight streak in an annotation (when i wear it i feel as though nothing unloving can touch me) my own pink force field i will wear it tomorrow (or this evening I am time blind) i have no doubt it will serve me well (i've begun to believe the magic isn't in the stone) it is and it isn't, the crystal is a channel and i am a broadcasting station i should only wear the antennae when i am comfortable with broadcasting my intent all of this to say (maybe the stone did not need charging) i await a good day tomorrow
4/13/2024
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. — Martin Luther King, Jr.
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