Young Writers Society

Sorry...taking this off...

silver*glitter wrote:I know it’s been more than a year since we last talked, and well I was missing you?

That line doesn't work somehow, but the rest.......was awesome!!! I really like the imagery, and it didn't seem cliche to me like most stories like this do. Interesting... Its a very grown-up piece of work.... lol....

Good job

So Sad! i really could image somebody crying over love letters...watching shooting stars! its really great and im sure everybody can relate to it! So apart from the fact that i almost started bawling in the middle of computer class i think its great =D>

Hi there,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this piece. I'm glad you guys liked it

Oh dear...

I feel like I'm getting more apathetic each day. This hardly did anything for me.

But still...

Why don't you send it to him anyway, just for kicks? Who knows what could happen...

Thanks Snoink

Send it to him? No way, he'd never understand. Oh well...

I really loved it. I loved the imagery in the words. I didn't really like some of the parts about the angels at the end though, i didn't think all fit. I loved this line about angels though.

I hear them sometimes; they comfort me, when thoughts and memories of you do not.

I didn't like this line so much though.

Do you hear the angels whispering? I hear them sometimes

Overall i loved this piece if writing, i really felt your words.

wow thats a sad story, but sad ending for u... even tho there was no kisses and that kind of stuff it was soo romantic...it was great!

wow thats a sad story, but sad ending for u... even tho there was no kisses and that kind of stuff it was soo romantic...it was great!

Very interesting it captivated me. I just couldnt stop reading the imegrey was fantstic.

Oh, this is gorgeously written. There are a couple of grammatical errors (it's the commas; they're the kiss of death, or something close enough) and a few words/sentences that jar the sound/atmosphere that the rest of the piece creates (the word nonetheless completely kills the last sentence), but I'll strangle my inner editor into silence (well, sort-of silence) for this one because I'm thinking a few out-of-place commas don't matter in the long run for this piece. (You didn't, I assume, post it so we could pick apart the sentence structure.) Like Snoink, I don't think the emotional oomph has quite carried across, but it's a lovely piece of word candy, which is enough. Good stuff.

(And if the distance between the two of you is wide enough, I do sort of think you should send it. Because, if he's not the kind of person to flout the letter, the potential gain outweighs the potential loss. And, if nothing else — well, it's a very pretty letter.)