Young Writers Society

Alright this is my first chapter...hope it's alright.

Chapter 1

"Can you keep it down! We're trying to study!" I yelled at the two boys across the room who were shouting at the T.V. Seriously, they act like five year olds fighting over a candy.

"How can we keep it down? " my friend Javier Cloudsen yelled back, he was clutching a small pillow that he was ready to throw at the t.v. "That guy just made the most stupid mistake of his life and he doesn't even know it."

"Are you watching a soap opera?" I asked preparing to laugh at his answer.

"It's Bella's fault, she made us watch those last two episodes and man..." he trailed off then gasped, "Can you believe he just made a fatal moveon the best friend?" I looked at Isabella Black, my best friend, who was sitting on the green couch accusingly. She just shrugged and went back to studying.

"I can't believe you guys are actually watching that," I said, I closed my books and put them away. My brain was fried from so much information. "What's next, I get some mysterious flowers?"

Just then I heard a knock at the door, nobody moved to get it, like usual. I got up and noticed Javier's friend, Mathew, gazing at Isabella, his eyes were glazed and there was a small smile on his lips. He sensed my stare and smiled, then returned to watching the soap opera. The doorbell wasn't ringing anymore and I wondered if whomever was outside gave up. I opened the door and was met by an empty hallway. I was about to take a step outside when I noticed a strange purple package lying in the middle of the hall.

It was shaped in a weird way that reminded me of the tips of a mountain. I knelt down slowly and tried to figure out what it was. Should I take it? I couldn't help but ask myself. Dismissing the thoughts swirling in my head I took the package, closed the door, and headed towards the kitchen.

Carefully I unwrapped the soft, silky paper and almost gasped. The gift contained an assortment of colorful roses and flowers. I picked a white rose and smelled it. The scent was unlike anything I had ever smelled before. Just then a not fell out unto the counter, on it three words were written and nothing else. Because You Live

"Cathy? What do we have to eat?" Isabella's voice called from the living room. My thoughts froze for a minute before I could answer. Who would send me flowers? It's not like I've done anything amazing or anything?

"Cat? Are you listening to me?" Bella asked again, this time coming into the kitchen. She gasped when she saw the flowers, "Cathy, who sent these?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, they were just there when I opened the door," I decided not to show her the note or she would get all squirmy and excited. But before I culd hide it, she noticed it and snatched it from my hands.

"What's this my friend?" she asked, then screamed, "Oh my god!" I was about to shush her when Javier and Mathew came runing in looking for danger.

"What's wrong?"

"Look what someone brought Cathy, oh my!" I saw Mathew roll his eyes in annoyance and Javier looked at the flowers with an almost venemous glare. I think he saw my questioning glace bexause he left the kitchen immediately, then footsteps and the front door opened and closed.

***
Well there it is.

I liked it, but I got a little confused about where everything was going, perhaps add more reasoning or descriptions, maybe add a scene or two. but yeah, it was really good, keep up the good work!!

Alright, thanks for reading. I really appreaciate it.

"Can you believe he made a moveon..."
It should be "move on."

"Just then a not fell..."
It should be note.

This was good. I agree, a bit more detail would be very helpful! XD The ending was a little confusing on what her friend, Matt, did.
Make it more clear, "He stalked out of the room. Seconds later, the door slammed shut behind him as he left my apartment." Or somthing like that. 007

Pretty good. You could do with a bit more description, like what the characters look like, and thegeneral scene everything takes place. There were also a few grammatical errors, but writergirl007 seemed to catch them all. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Happy writing!

Thanks a lot you guys, like I said I really appreciate it. I did look back and see the errors, thanks for pointing them out. Also, I reviewed it again and realized I didn't have enough description, if any at all. I'll post the second chapter real soon.

Well here it is Chapter 2.

Chapter 2

While Bella talked joyfully with Mathew, I slipped out of the kitchen and went outside. I caught a glimpse of Javier slipping through the corner of the hall and out of sight. I hurried to catch up with him and clear whatever situation was going on. Within seconds I lost him, every direction I turned he wasn't there. I passed people I knew and occasionally stopped to ask them if they had seen Javier.

Where would he be? I kept asking myself, I remembered his poisonous look at the flowers and the card. Suddenly an idea struck me, every time any of us had a fight we would go to the park, and that was where I would go look for him. Sure enough he was there, all by himself, the park was literally empty. Of course it would be since it was sprinkling and would start raining anytime soon. Also the fact that we were near the lake and it was getting dark faster than it would usually.

I neared him slowly, his back was to me and he was swinging slightly. I wondered what I was going to say to him or if he even wanted to talk. I heard a small sigh escape him and then a few mumbled words I couldn't distinguish.

"Javier?" I called out unsure if I was doing the right thing. He turned surprised and stared at me intently, waiting for me to speak, but I couldn't find the words to tell him anything. So I just sat on the swing next to him and waited in silence until I did find some words to talk. I don't know how much time passed, but we just stayed there swinging in silence watching the full moon peek out of the still pinkish purlple-blue horizon.

"What are you doing here?" asked Javier so suddenly he scared me. I turned and found him looking at me with a hint of anger behind his tone. I didn't say anything for fear of making him yell at me, contemplating on what to tell him I didn't notice him stop.

"What's wrong Javier?" I asked not bearing the silence anymore, he faced me once more, "Why are you mad?" I didn't realize it right away, but by the look of his face, I was hurt.

"It's nothing," he replied, his tone subdued, "and I'm not mad." I couldn't help but laugh, he was mad and it was really obvious. For a moment I suddenly felt an urge to cry, to just let everything out, but I pushed it back.

"Remeber when we first met?" I asked randomly, surprising him and myself. Where the question popped from, I had no idea. He remained quiet for a few moments then chuckled to himself.

"I do," Javier responded lifting the mood between us, "How could I forget?"

I kind of hoped he would, our first encounter had been a little embarrassing for me and uncomfortable for him. One, that thankfully, hasn't happened again. I laughed a little out loud at the memory, he gave me an amused look and returned to his thinking.

"Please, are you gonna tell me what's wrong," I asked. Something about this moment was affecting me. It wasn't something that really happened to me.

He opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it as if thinking better of it. We were quiet again for some time each of us in our own thoughts and worries, time seemed to have slowed down just a little for us. Again he opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say a voice jumped into our moment.

"Well isn't this a nice conversation, eh?" I turned quickly, but only to find Jesse McKinley. Someone I happened to have a major distrust issue with. Jesse was the type of guy whom one would usually look at and instantly think of as an angel type of guy. He has black curly hair, reaching atop his shoulders, and the lightest shade of blue I have ever seen, which occasionally had hazel specs in them. Besides that he's tall and strong and lean, he also has a deep soothing voice that, if angered, could possibly strike fear into you.

I felt Javier tense and straighten up, it surprised me a little since I never knew if they got along or if they even knew each other. But the tension between them was unmistakable, it sparked furiously making me feel really uncomfortable. I didn't know if it was because both men were trying to gain control of the situation all together or if it was just because of who they were.

"Jesse, what are you doing here?" I asked him, if I didn't know better I'd say I could see an evil glint in his blue eyes. It made me worry alright.

"Just taking a stroll, nothing wrong with that." he said it in a way that made me want to roll my eyes in annoyance. "I hopped I might bump into you, it's always a . . . pleasure."

I barely threw a look at Javier before I felt a rush of air to my right where he was when I heard the impact of flesh collide with bone. It seemed like everything was moving at a slow pace. Both men were on the floor trying to gain an advantage over the other all the while trying to break each others bones. Javier's usual calm and relaxed attitude changed into one of anger and resent. It was hard to believe, Javier who was always the one who calmed me down or one of the others. Jesse looked as if he were enjoying the fight. His eyes turned a deep blue and there was a slight grin on his face. His curly hair was falling all over his face and covering half of his eyes.

Then everything began to move at its normal pace and that's when I started to react. I got up suddenly from my seat and started to think about what I could do. I could call Mathew, but then it would be a little too late. I didn't think I could stop them, they'd tear me to pieces. My decision was made for me when I heard a shout from behind me. I turned quickly and saw Mat running towards us, his rather short sandy brown hair flying all over. He didn't need me to tell him what was going on, I think he got it. Mat grabbed Jesse and threw him off Javier with amazing strength. Jesse rolled away and got up, he held the side of his face where a bruise was beginning to form. There was blood coming out from his noise, but he simply wiped it away with his black sleeve. He gave me a smile and began to walk away.

"What is wrong with you Javier?" I heard Mathew yell at Javier. Javier had his arm placed on the side of his stomach, he winced when he tried to move. His beautiful hazel-green eyes looked troubled and he wouldn't look at me. Mathew was waiting for an answer from his best friend, his cheeks were red and his arms were folded in front of his chest in anger; he was pissed. "Well...why'd you do that?"

Javier cleared his throat and looked directly at me, his gaze intense and deep, it made me feel bad, "Haven't you guessed yet."

whoa... this looks pretty cool! i loved the mystery in the first chapter, and you write great cliffhanger endings

well done, i like it

Some parts in the second chapter actually don't make sense and there's still a small bit of description to be made between sections. Other than that, it's engrossing enough. To me, at least.