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Young Writers Society


A Dying Ember



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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 24
Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:06 pm
CrimsonArrow says...



The entangled mess of hatred and fate. It is a garden of lives. In this garden, flowers of dread grow, frail and fragile; they are lost in their hatred. They yearn for the despair of others. Their stories are twisted. When they come into contact with someone that wants to be happy they don’t know how to respond. They usually become more frightened and sink deeper into their dread.

She walked up the stairs to the small town house. All the houses on this street looked the same, but then again they were all connected. They were made out of brick and had a black shingled roof. All the doors were painted black with large gold numbers telling the address of the house. And it must’ve rained earlier that day because everything looked damp, cold, and slippery. There was a sidewalk and small trees next to the road. Since it was late at night there weren’t many cars on the street or people walking around. She faced the door and her finger went up to the button for the door bell. She hesitated, but the pressed it and stepped back into the shadows where she considered her choice to come here. A very young boy answered the door. She stepped back into the light of the streetlight. The boy had dark brown hair that fell right below his ears. His eyes were dark brown, but in the light, looked completely black. His skin was not as fair as her’s but was definitely applied sunscreen to every time he visited the beach.
“Um. Hello. I’m –“She was cut off by someone else.
“Christopher! Who is at the door?” Someone shouted from inside.
“It’s a woman. I don’t know who she is.” He replied. The boy looked to be about eight or nine, the more she looked at him.
The person who shouted from inside the house came to the door. She looked just like the boy but she was older and her skin was a darker shade. Her hair was tucked neatly behind her ears. Her hair stopped by her shoulders. It was wavy but not curly. She was wearing a black hoodie that said; Richfield Middle School Track Team. She was wearing dark denim jeans and didn’t have socks or shoes on.
“Who are you?” She asked, “Look, since you really don’t look like the dangerous type I’ll tell you that our parents are not here.”
“I’m just looking for the O’Reilly Residence. I came here from Portland, Oregon. My name is Aria Winters” she said, “This is the correct address right?” she showed them the slip of paper with the address on it.
“Yeah, that’s our address, but the O’Reillys are across the street. You did say you were looking for them.” The girl said.
“Thank you.” She replied. And with that she walked down the stairs and the two young children shut the door.
They must think I’m a freak, she thought to herself. She walked a across the street to the house that they said where the O’Reillys live. The house looked exactly like the houses along this street. She became once again nervous as she walked up the steps to the door. As her hand rose to the door bell she hesitated again. She didn’t know why she came her in the first place. These people didn’t love her. No one did. But it’s all she had left. So she pressed the button. Her stomach flipped over when she did. When she heard the person unlocking the door, she felt like running. But she waited as her uncle opened the door. He scowled when he saw her, the reaction Aria expected. He was older than she remembered. Although she was sixteen then. Now she’s twenty five. That’s almost ten years. She remembered him having blonde hair all over his head. Now it was grey and receding. His eyes were always scowling when he saw her, but they were full of life, now they look dead.
“Why are you here?” He asked.
“Hello to you too.” She replied, “I’m looking for you and my aunt.”
“Lillian isn’t here. We divorced several years ago.” He said, “He took both your cousins too. Now I’m just an old hermit with a niece I haven’t seen in nine years standing on my door step.”
“She took Anise and Frank. Wow. I thought she would of left ‘em with you. How old are they now?” she asked
“Anise is sixteen and Frank is seventeen.” He replied, he looked at his feet as he said this, “I haven’t seen them in so long. Wait, back to the matter at hand, why are you looking for us?”
Aria didn’t want to answer this question, but she knew she had to. “Well, My college in Portland, well, I got kicked out because, I’ve had a lot of stress this last year, you know with father passing away and mother being under suicide watch. Then she went to the hospital and I had to fly to London to visit her. It. It really took a toll on my grades at school.” She said, “So my professor recommended I take a year off. So I just decided to continue my job and stay there, but then I got laid off, because the company had too many employees and well, I had to keep taking days off to visit mother. So I needed somewhere to go. And I couldn’t afford a ticket to London, but I could to New York City, so I looked up if I knew anyone in New York. And I found you. I know you’re not happy but please. Please let me stay here until I go back to school.” She said pleadingly.
He grumbled a little bit then said, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend you can move in with. But I think having a young person in the house again might be good for me. And I am sorry about your father. He was such a nice man. I always wished I could see him more.” Then he opened the door and she walked in.
The first room was painted green and had hardwood floors, but most of the room was covered by a rug. There was a stair way directly across from the front door. On the left and right there was a door way.
“We have a guestroom upstairs.” Her uncle said from behind her, “and the door way on the left goes into the living room, and the one on the right goes into the dining room. The kitchen is behind both rooms, so there are door ways to the kitchen from both rooms. There are two bathrooms. One is mine. The second one can be yours. They’re both upstairs.” He finished.
He walked up the stairs and she followed him. Upstairs was the same hardwood but there was no rug. The hallway was a cream color. There were three doors. The first one was one the right, then the other two were across from each other a little bit down the hall.
“The first door goes into my room, and my bathroom is through my room.” He said. He walked a little bit down the hall to the two doors across from each other. The one on the right is your room, then the bathroom on the left.” He turned toward Aria, “I just remembered. I have two of my friends coming over tomorrow. You should cook us dinner, because I was just planning on ordering a pizza, but now that you’re here, you can cook for us!” he said happily.
Aria found herself smiling with him. Even though his eyes were lifeless, he wasn’t, in fact he was much nicer to her than she remembered. She wondered if all her relatives became nicer. Probably not. She really did look up to her uncle. Even back when she was little. He was such a successful man. She hoped to be one day like him. Happy, with a spouse, two kids, and a great job. But isn’t that everyone hopes for, she thought.
“Well look at the time” her uncle said staring at his watch, “Almost ten thirty, I suggest we get some sleep, because tomorrow I want you to have some fun. You deserve it.” He said grinning at her.
Aria was so surprised. No one ever in her entire life had been this nice to her. At that moment she burst into tears. She fell to her knees, and her uncle put his hand on her shoulder.
“There, there. It’s alright, Aria. You know I was so mean to you when you were a child. I want to make up for that, Aria. No one was nice to you in our family. I regret it, because you’re such an amazing person. Aria, I love you very much.” He said.
Aria was so stunned, “Really? You love me? I can’t thank you enough. For letting me stay here, for that pep talk.” She said, “I love you too uncle.” Then she composed herself and said, “Do you mind if I just call you Thomas? I mean it’s ok if you want to stick with uncle but…” her voice trailed off.
“Of course. Thomas is fine. That is my name, isn’t it?” he replied, “Now get some sleep, Aria.”
He walked back down the stairs and Aria walked into her new room. The room was small. It has a double bed, two night stands on either side of the bed. A small desk, a large window, and a dresser with a mirror on top of it. There was no closet, but she would manage. Aria smiled to herself. She picked up her suit case and put it on the dresser. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked very tired. Her eyes were a light ocean blue. Her hair was a caramel color. Her hair flew to her mid back. In Portland she had gotten layers cut, which gave her hair more life. She was tan because she used to spend a lot of time outdoors. She was average for her age, about 5’6’’. She didn’t have much of a torso. But she had long legs and arms. She opened her suitcase and pulled out some pajamas. She quickly changes into them and got into the bed. She pulled the cover to her chin and very quickly dozed off.
The next morning, the sun had already come up.
“Oh no! What time is it? I have to go cook breakfast. Wait where am I?” She looked around the room and then realized that she was at her uncle’s house.
She changed into a blue hoodie that she got from a Pink Floyd concert and a pair of simple jeans and walked downstairs.
She walked through the dining room which was very simple. It had a huge oak table with matching chairs. There was a golden chandelier, and the walls were painted a light brown.
She walked into the kitchen and saw her uncle cooking bacon and eggs.
He turned to Aria and asked, “What do you want in your omelet? And how many pieces of bacon do you want?”
“Uh. I’ll have just cheese in my omelet, and two pieces of bacon, please.” She replied. He flipped the omelet onto the plate and put two pieces of bacon on it.
In the kitchen there was a small table with four chairs surrounding it.
Her uncle grabbed his plate and sat down and the table. Aria sat down across from him and began to eat.
“You know, Aria, have you met any of my neighbors?” he asked her.
“Last night, I went to the wrong house and met a little boy named Christopher. His sister was there too. But I didn’t learn her name.” she replied.
“Oh, you met the Smiths. They are very nice. Yes, the parents are named Nicholas and Rain, I believe. Christopher is eight years old, and I think you must have met Jasmine. She’s in middle school. They have a younger brother named Kyle, and he’s six. And I think there are two twin girls. They’re both in high school, I think. Their names are Caroline and Isabel. They are all very nice.” He said, “And then there are the Arlins, they are very nice and always hold these events that everyone in the neighborhood attends to. The parents are name Susan and Robert, but people call him Bob. They have two kids and Susan is pregnant with another. The oldest is Derek, he’s about seventeen, and then there’s Kristy, she’s eleven. They already know that their baby is a girl, and they’ve decided on either Rose or Melissa.” He seemed so excited, Aria thought, “Isn’t it exciting?”
Aria smiled and said, “Yes,”
Her uncle was apparently tired of talking so he began eating his food again. After a few minutes Aria asked, “So what are we going to do today?”
“Well, I’m planning on staying home but I have a car with a gps. After you meet the Smiths and the Arlins and the Lopez. Oh! And the Burnes. You can go buy groceries for dinner and stop by Central Park. When you were in high school, weren’t you quite the runner?” he finished
“Yeah, I was a runner, and I still am.” She replied. “Do you want to go talk to your neighbors after breakfast?”
“Sure let me go call them.” He said getting up from the table, “Oh, don’t worry about the dishes, I’ll deal with them, you just stand there and look pretty.”
Aria laughed. She loved her uncle being like this. She considered visiting her cousin, to see if she changed as much as he did, because she was always the cruelest to her. She was the only person in her entire life that gave her a beating. Her name was Iona. But she lived in Queens. Wait, isn’t that right around here, Aria thought.
“Hey, does Iona live around here?” Aria asked.
Her uncle looked at her with surprise, “Why do you care about her?” he asked, “She tortured you. Iona was only five years older than you, but you still feared her.”
Aria remembered herself crouching behind the table trying to hide from her. She can still hear Iona saying, “Where are you broken butterfly? Don’t you want to see your friend? She’s wondering where you are.” And when she said that Aria would start to cry. And she would find her, and take her belt and beat her. She finally got rid of the scars when she turned twenty. As a present to herself, Aria bought some scar removing cream.
“I would expect you want to kill that woman.” Her uncle said pulling her back from her flash back.
“I know” Aria said grimly, “But you’ve changed so much, I just wondered if she did.” She said smiling at her uncle.
“She hasn’t changed.” He said locking her gaze, “If you go back you’ll get back those scars.”
Aria once again remembered Iona beating her on Christmas.
Aria had been hiding under the bed for the past seven hours. She thought it was finally safe to come out, but Iona heard her from the next room. All that was sticking out from the bed was Aria’s arm. Her forearm was snapped by Iona. Iona had pulled Aria out forcefully and just like that, it snapped. Aria remembered Iona laughing. When Iona got Aria all the way out, she pulled out the belt. Iona always used the end with the brass buckle. Iona used it so much that she gave it the name the Butterfly. Every time she was beating Aria, she sang a song, Aria only remembered one line, The wishes of the broken butterfly are no better than suicide notes. That line haunt her to this day.
Aria screamed.
“No! No! Stop!! STOP IT, IONA!” She screeched, “Iona, Please!! PLEASE STOP!”
Aria remembered whenever she said this Iona replied whipped harder and said, “You are too worthless to speak my name!”
Aria still was screaming as her uncle tried to calm her,
“IONA! STOP IT! IT HURTS!! NO! PLEASE! I’m BEGGING YOU, IONA!!!” she screamed
“Aria, Iona isn’t here.” Her uncle said calmly, “She isn’t going to be here. If she doesn’t know you’re here, she won’t come.”
Aria’s stopped screaming, but remained crying.
“I don’t want to see her.” She said shortly.
After composing herself, Aria and her uncle went to talk to his neighbors, He had already called them so they new they were coming to visit. The first stop was the Smiths. Aria already had met Christopher and Jasmine. But not the rest of the family. They were greeted by Rain, and she went inside to get the rest of her family. Soon she came back outside with her whole family.
“Everyone, this is Aria O’Reilly—“ Rain started
“Actually I changed my last name to Winters” Aria said.
“Oh, ok” Rain said apologetically, “This is Aria Winters. She’s Mr. O’Reilly’s niece, She’ll be living with him for awhile.”
“Wait, aren’t you the girl from last night?” Jasmine asked.
“What?” Rain asked.
“Yeah, she came to our house looking for the O’Reillys.” She replied.
“Oh, yeah, now I remember.” Christopher said.
“Well, I’m Jasmine. And this is Christopher.” Jasmine said.
“Yeah, I’m Caroline” said another girl with blonde hair.
“And I’m Isabel. Caroline’s twin.” Said another girl with brown hair like the rest of the family.
“I’m Kyle!!” said a little boy with brown hair like everyone except Caroline.
“I’m so sorry Nicholas isn’t here. But he looks just like Caroline.” Rain said pointing to the blonde girl.
“It’s very nice to meet you all.” Aria said, “I hope to see you again.”
“Thank you. But Aria and I must go meet the Lopez’s.” Said her uncle.
And then the Smiths went back inside as Aria and her uncle walked to the house next door.
“Winters? Why’d you change it? Did you get married?” he asked Aria.
“I changed it because I wanted to forget my family. And I didn’t get married. I wish I did.” She finished.
“I understand why you changed it but why Winters?” he asked.
“Because it’s my favorite season.” She said bluntly.
Her uncle smiled at the response as they walked up to the Lopez’s house.
An older woman answered the door, and the called out something in Spanish. And then the rest of the family appeared.
They all came outside, and Aria introduced herself.
The parents were named Juan and Carmen. They had four sons and three daughters. And their grandmother, Ana lived with them. The oldest child was eighteen and his name was Ricardo, then a sixteen year old daughter name Elena. And then a twelve year old daughter named Esperanza. And then a son name Jose, he was ten, and then there was a son named Eduardo, and he was eight. And then another daughter named Maribel. She was six.
They were nice but didn’t understand much English, Aria discovered. Then Aria and her uncle walked across the street to the Arlins. The mother, Susan was very pregnant. Her husband was a very talk man and the two kids were both very short. Everyone in this family had blonde hair and blue eyes.
After introductions the walked to the house on the next side of her uncles house. The Burnes.
“Who’s next to the Smiths?” She asked.
“You mean the Lopez’s?” he replied.
“No, on the other side.” She said.
“Oh. It’s an old widow. She’s a recluse. I’ve never seen her once leave her house.” He said, “And apparently she isn’t very nice, but I’ve never met her. Her name is Diane Rochelle.”
“Ok.” Aria said lamely.
The Burnes were just a couple with a young child.
The parents were named Rebecca and Richard. And there child was eighteen months old, his name was Jacob. Rebecca was blonde with brown eyes and Richard was a red head with brown eyes. Jacob didn’t have any hair yet. But Jacob had blue eyes.
Once, her uncle and Aria got back inside, he gave her the local grocery store and a some other areas.
After Aria went to the grocery store and bought some thing for dinner she decided to stop by the local coffee store. When she walked in, there was only one employee, and two customers. The employee was a stout boy with thick glasses and lots of pimples. His hair was black and greasy.
“Hi, can I take your order?” he asked in a monotone voice.
“Um, yes. I would like the iced cappuccino, please.” She replied.
While he was getting the coffee she noticed a person staring at her. It was a man that looked about her age. He had glasses but they made him looked more studious than nerdy. He had medium brown hair that was straight. It stopped right by his ears. His eyes were a pale green. His lips were pale pink. His fingers were wrapped around a cup of coffee.
Aria smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then the cashier handed her the coffee and she paid for it and started to walk out of the store, when someone grabbed her arm.
“Hey you want to walk with me?” it was the man that was staring at her earlier.
“Uh, I really have to get home.” She replied because she didn’t wan to walk with this man.
“No worries, I’ll walk you home. I know this neighborhood like the back of my hand” he said winking at her.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her outside the store. Once outside he let go and said, “Hi, I’m Matt.” He smiled.
“I’m Aria.” She said looking at her feet.
He grabbed her hand again and pulled her along.
“so where’s your place? “ he asked
“Uh, well, I don’t know the name of the subdivision, but it’s a bunch of brick town houses. My address is 703 Cherry Ave.” she told him, because he wasn’t going to leave her alone, Aria thought.
“Ok, I know where that is. No problem.” He winked, “Leave it to me.”
Too much of Aria’s embarrassment, Matt held her hand the entire walk home. When they got to the Smiths’s house he asked her for her number.
“Whaaaat?!” Aria shouted, “Why?”
Matt laughed, “Because I like you, Aria.”
Now Aria knew she really didn’t like this man. Who in their right mind would say something like that after only the knowing the person for about fifteen minutes.
“Hmph, fine.” Aria said and she told him her number because really, she liked how outgoing he was, but didn’t want to admit it.
“Ok, thanks, I’ll see you around.” He said. And then he walked off. Thank God I told him the Smith’s address, she thought.
She waited until Matt was out of sight to walk across the street to her house.
She rang the door bell and her uncle answered.
“Hey, Aria. How was your day? I can’t wait to taste your cooking!” He said at the door way. She walked in and went into the kitchen where she emptied out the bags and began to make dinner.
The next morning, she walked back downstairs to find her uncle in the kitchen again, making bacon and scrambled eggs.
“Good morning, Aria” her uncle said
Aria rubber her eyes and said, “Good morning.”
As they were eating breakfast the phone started to ring.
“I’ll get it.” Her uncle said as he stood up from the table.
A few seconds later he came back and said, “It was Rain. She said some man came to there house looking for Aria. She told him that you were living here. Also she said he should be here soon.” And right when he said that the door bell rang.
Her uncle opened the door, and as Aria expected it was Matt.
“Who are you?” Matt asked.
“I should be asking you that, young man.” He replied.
“I’m just looking for Aria. Is she here?”
“Why?”
Aria was so happy that her uncle wasn’t letting him in.
“Look, can you just tell me why your in her home?” Matt asked quite rudely
“Her house?” her uncle asked angrily, “This isn’t Aria’s home, it’s mine. I don’t know why your looking for her but if you want her that bad, then” he turned toward Aria, “Aria, there’s someone here for you!”
“What’s your relationship to her?” Matt asked as she took slow dreadful steps.
“I’m her uncle.” He replied snidely, “You probably don’t know anything about her. Like how her cousin, Iona, use to—“
“Um. I don’t think Matt wants to hear that story.” Aria said stepping in front of her uncle.
“Right, right, sorry.” He said going back into the kitchen.
“Why are you here, Matt?” Aria asked leaning against the door.
“Do you want to go to Central Park with me?” He asked, “right now.”
“What?” Aria said stunned.
“I brought my car; we can drive up there and take a walk.” He said.
“Fine.” Aria said, instantly wanting to go with him.
“Let me tell my uncle.” Aria said, “Hey, Thomas, I’m going out for awhile” she shouted inside.
“Ok! Have fun, kid!” he shouted from the kitchen.
Aria closed the door and walked across the street to where Matt parked his car, in front of the Smiths. She got into the passengers seat and they drove off.
“So, why did you tell me the wrong address?” he asked calmly.
“Well, because I didn’t know our address, but I knew that one, so I just told you that one. Please don’t be mad.” Aria said.
Matt laughed, “Why would I be mad? I understand but please be honest with me from now on, ok?” He smiled.
Aria smiled with him, “Of course.”
Then they were at Central Park. Matt parked the car in front of a building that was across from it. They walked across the street and went into Central Park. After a few minutes, Matt grabbed Aria’s hand and led her to a bench where they both sat down.
“Tell me about yourself.” Matt said.
“What? Ok.” Aria was surprised, “My name is Aria Winters. I used to live in Portland, Oregon. I came to my uncle’s house about three days ago.”
“Why did you move?” he asked. He was quite the nosy type, Aria thought.
“Because, my college didn’t want me. You see my grades weren’t good, so the professor recommended I take a year off. I planned on just staying in Portland, but then I got laid off from my part-time job. So I decided to come visit my uncle.”
“Why didn’t you go with your parents?”
“Well, I just say it now, because it’ll just come up later. Some of the reasons my grades weren’t good is because my father passed away recently from brain cancer. My mother soon went under suicide watch. And she tried to jump off a bridge, so she’s been the hospital for awhile. She’s in London and I didn’t have enough money to go there and stay at the hospital, but I remembered I had some relatives in New York and I could afford that so I came here three days ago.” Aria said.
“Wow. How about your uncle? Why does he have pictures of people in his house and I don’t think they live there?”
“He used to be married to my aunt Lillian. They had two kids, Anise and Frank. A few years ago they divorced and Lillian took the kids.”
“Why did they divorce?” he asked.
“I don’t know, I hadn’t seen him since I was sixteen.” Aria replied.
“What? That’s along time. Why?”
“Because me and the rest of my family aren’t exactly on good terms,” she said staring up at the sky, “Not even with my mother and father.”
“Well, didn’t you say you had other relatives here? Who are they?”
“She lives in Queens. And I don’t want to talk about her.” Aria said grimly.
“Ok. Then why are…..” he said but Aria wasn’t listening.
She was looking at a person walking down the path. Aria thought she looked like Iona, but she couldn’t tell from here.
“Hey what are you looking at?” Matt asked. But Aria didn’t respond.
Aria started getting flashbacks of Iona. They Butterfly song. The belt. She felt like she was going to pass out.
“Hey, hey Aria? Are you ok? Aria!” Matt was saying but Aria was looking at the woman. The closer she got to Aria the more she was frightened. The woman walked right up to Matt and Aria.
“Did you say Aria?” she asked Matt.
“Um. Yes. Why?” he told her.
Iona turned to Aria.
“Well, well, Aria. Long time, no see. Are you staying with Uncle Thomas? You must be.” She said.
“Go away.” Aria said very quietly.
“You should visit me in Queens some time. You know that would mean the world to me. In fact, I would be so pleased that I might even sing the Butterfly song, it is your favorite song isn’t it, my dear broken butterfly?”
“No. No, go away. Please.” Aria said.
“Go away? Why?” Iona asked, “But I haven’t seen you in so long. And look” she grabbed Aria’s arm, “the love marks I gave you have faded, I might just have to give you some more.” Iona grabbed Aria’s chin and whispered in Aria’s ear so Matt couldn’t hear, “And when you come you can bring you boyfriend, so he can see what a coward you are.”
“Please, Iona. Don’t do this.” Aria said.
“What did I tell you about saying my name?” Iona asked, furious, “Didn’t I tell you that you are too worthless to even speak it?!”
“Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but don’t do this.” Aria pleaded, she was on the verge of tears.
“Hmph, You’re still scared of me aren’t you? I’m pleased I left that of a mark, I bet you still have nightmares of Christmas day, huh, Aria?”
Aria had the flashback of Iona pulling her out from the bed.
Now Aria was crying, “No! Please! Please! Stop it! Please!” she was begging.
Then Matt came to the rescue, “I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done to her, but—“
“You don’t know? I’m Iona O’Reilly. Aria’s cousin. I’m five years older than her, and we were very close growing up. Right, Aria?” she said to him.
Matt put his arm around Aria’s shoulder, “Please go away. Don’t you see you’ve caused enough pain.”
Matt stood up and Iona gave him a dirty look but walked away.
“Come on, Aria. Let’s get you home”
The whole car ride home, Aria wailed.
When they got to her house, her uncle came running out of the house.
“I got a phone call from Iona telling me she saw Aria.” He said frantically.
“Yeah, she did.” Matt replied.
They walked Aria into the house, and her uncle told Matt to sit down in the living room and wait for him. And Aria’s uncle walked her into her room, and laid her down in her bed. Then he walked back downstairs into the living room.
He sat down across from Matt.
“Alright, what do you know?” he asked Matt.
“Well, that Aria has a bad relationship with her cousin, Iona. That’s it.” He replied.
“Well I’ll fill you in.” Aria’s uncle said, “Aria lived a terrible life. She was hated by everyone in her family. Our family hated her because, well, it’s very stupid actually, a long time ago, there was a prophecy, and it said that a girl will be born. She will have a birthmark on her ankle that looks like a star, which Aria has. Anyway, when she turns eighteen she will destroy our entire family. We all planned on killing her on her eighteenth birthday, but when she turned sixteen, she disappeared.” He said, “Everyone in our family hated her. Especially, Iona. You see Iona is next in line for the head of our family, not that means much, but it did to her. So Iona beat her every chance she got. Aria had scars all over her body from it. One time, Iona broke her arm. Iona had a belt she called the Butterfly. Because Iona used to call her the broken butterfly. There was a song she used to sing. I remember one line, the wishes of the broken butterfly are no better than suicide notes.”
“That’s terrible.” Matt said.
“I know. I wish I would’ve done something. I remember seeing those sad eyes. “Her uncle fought back a tear, “Anyway, Aria still suffers from it. And it is important to be aware of that.”
“I understand” Matt said.
“Aria is an amazing person. She never once did anything to us, or Iona. The prophecy isn’t true but we all believed it.” He put his hand over his face, “To tell you the truth, when I saw her on my doorstep, I thought she was going to kill me, but I soon learned she would never do that, because she isn’t an evil person like we were.”
Thomas faced Matt and looked him right into the eyes, “If you love her, you and her will go up to Iona, and you will show her that you can protect Aria from Iona. Because if you can protect Aria from that, Aria will know you can protect her from anything. Do you love her, Matt?” he asked.
“Love? I know she’s pretty and nice. I know I like her. I only met her yesterday at the coffee shop, But when she smiled at me, I-I saw a girl that was strong. So when you ask me if I love her then I’ll say…” Matt was silent for a moment, “I’ll say yes.”
Aria was standing behind the wall from the kitchen. She walked into the living room. She was crying, but it wasn’t hysterical crying.
Matt stood up, “Aria…” his voice trailed off.
“Can you do it?” Aria asked very quietly.
“What?” Matt asked.
“Can you really protect me from her?!” she shouted, “Because Matt,” she said calmer and smiled, “I love you too.”
Now Matt was silently crying too. Aria threw her arms around him. She cried and he cried and her uncle was smiling.
When they pulled apart, Matt smiled and said, “I can protect you, Aria. I promise you.”
Aria started to cry harder.
Then her uncle asked, “Do you have an apartment, Matt?”
“Yeah, but my sister lives there with me.” He replied.
“Will you take Aria there, it’s safer from Iona.” He said.
“Ok.” He replied and then turned to Aria, “Do you want to?” Aria smiled and nodded her head.
Aria walked upstairs with Matt into her room and packed up her stuff into her suitcase. She rolled it down the hall and picked it up as she walked down the stairs. In the entrance room her uncle was waiting for her. She sat her suitcase down on the floor, and hugged her uncle, “Thank you so much. For everything,” she cried on his shoulder.
He cried, “Aria, remember that I love you,” he said.
She pulled away and said, “Will I see you again?”
“Yes, I promise, I don’t know when, but I won’t leave you.” He said.
He turned toward Matt, “You take extremely good care of her, ok?”
Aria blushed, and Matt said, “Of course, nothing less.” Smiled at Aria.
Then Aria and Matt walked out of the town house and Matt carried the suitcase in his trunk. He sat in the drivers’ seat and he drove off.
They were silent the whole way, and then Matt pulled into a parking garage. They stepped out of his blue Toyota fusion. He pulled out her suitcase, and she rolled it to the elevator. He pressed the button for the fourth floor and when the elevator dinged open, there was a woman; she had shoulder length, straight black hair. Her eyes were pale green, like Matt’s.
“Kathleen? What are—“Matt started.
“Where have you been? You left all of a sudden this morning, and you didn’t tell me where you were. I was worried!” she shouted.
“I went to Central Park. You know I’m twenty five, I think I don’t have to tell my younger sister where I’m going.” He replied, “Oh, Aria, this is my sister, Kathleen.”
“Who are you?” Kathleen asked Aria then turned to Matt, “Who is she?”
“My name is Aria Winters; it’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry; your brother was taking me to Central Park. I’m sorry I made you worry.” Aria said and Kathleen melted.
“Oh it’s ok.” She said.
Kathleen turned around and walked toward the apartment. The number was 409. Kathleen opened the door and it was a small room with a TV and a couch. There were three doors leading off from this room. The walls were painted white and the carpet was white, too. Aria walked in and asked Matt where she should put her stuff. Matt pointed to one of the doors and said, “That’s my room. Just lay your stuff on the floor.”
Aria opened the door and found that the room was painted white, too and had white carpet. There was a mattress sitting right on the floor, there was a laptop, lying on the ground.
Matt walked in behind her, “Sorry, we can’t really afford furniture.” He said smiling.
Aria turned towards him and smiled, “It’s perfect!”
Matt smiled, “You should take a nap, it’s been a long day.”
Aria nodded, she laid her stuff down at the foot of the bed. She laid down on the mattress and dozed off.
Matt walked back out to the main room, his sister was sitting on the couch; she motioned for him to sit down. He did.
“Matt, why is she here?” Kathleen asked.
“Because, her uncle asked me to bring her here for awhile.” He responded.
“What happened to her? I mean, why does her uncle want her here?”
“Because her cousin lives in Queens and they don’t have a good relationship.”
Kathleen gave him a skeptical look but said, “Well you finally picked up a girl.” She looked at him, “And she’s pretty,” she winked at him.
Kathleen stood up, “I’m going to start on dinner, you go keep your girlfriend company,”
Matt nodded and stood up and walked into his room where Aria was sound asleep.
When Aria woke up Matt was lying next to her, asleep.
Dazed, Aria took her finger and poked his face. This woke him up.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said.
He checked his watch, “You missed dinner, and Kathleen made ramen. But it’s ok. But it’s morning now.” He said.
He sat up from the mattress and Aria did the same.
“I have to go to work today but I don’t have to leave until eleven.” He said, “But Kathleen will be here. And I’ll be home around three, and do want to go get coffee when I get home?” he asked.
Aria smiled and nodded. Matt walked out of the room and Aria changed into the Pink Floyd hoodie and a pair of jeans, and she walked out into the room where Kathleen was cooking something in a pot and Matt was sitting on the sofa. Aria looked at her watch and it was ten-thirty.
“Good morning, Aria. We’re having oatmeal, hope you like it.” Kathleen said happily.
Matt stood up and went into a little area of the room where there was a bunch of backpacking stoves, where Kathleen was cooking. Matt opened a green bin and pulled out a blue plastic bowl and a lime green plastic bowl. He pulled out three white spoons, too.
“Aria, I’ll fix your oatmeal, just relax.” Matt said as he walked toward the pot where Kathleen was.
Matt scooped up some oatmeal and put it in the green bowl and some in a pink bowl, that Kathleen handed him, and the blue bowl. He put one of the white spoons in each one. He handed Kathleen the pink bowl and walked over to Aria and handed her the blue bowl. Then he sat down next to her on the couch. Kathleen smiled at them.
Soon after breakfast, Matt had to leave. He said goodbye to Aria and Kathleen as he walked down to the elevator.
Aria walked back to the couch and Kathleen sat next to her.
“I want to thank you.” Kathleen said suddenly.
“Huh?” Aria responded.
“Matt, well, our parents divorced each other when we were both in high school. So we’ve both been skeptical about relationships. So I was surprised when Matt told be he’d only know you for two days and he’s already bringing you into the house. Well, I’ve never seen him happier. He had a girlfriend named Teresa, they dated for awhile but he never seemed happy. But every minute he spends with you makes him happy. And I wanted to thank you, Aria.” Kathleen said looking at Aria.
Aria was about to say something but the door bell rang, Kathleen went to answer it, and Aria followed her.
When Kathleen opened the door, Aria was surprised to find her Aunt Lillian, Anise, Frank, and Matt standing in front of them.
Lillian and her children just waltzed right in and Matt mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ To Kathleen and Aria.
Lillian, Anise and Frank sat down on the sofa and asked to speak with Aria, privately.
“How’d you know I was living here?” Aria asked.
“Your uncle called and gave us the address. We asked the young man if he knew how to get here and he said it was his address.” Lillian said, “Now, tell me, why are you in New York when you know that Iona lives in Queens?”
“Well, I knew Uncle Thomas lived here and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Aria said sadly, “I wanted to go to London, but I couldn’t afford a ticket to there.”
“London?” Lillian asked.
“My mother is in the hospital there.” Aria replied.
“THE HOSPITAL?!” Lillian shouted, “Why is Renée in the hospital?”
Aria sighed, “She jumped off a bridge.”
“Oh my, wasn’t she under suicide watch?”
“Yeah, but apparently it wasn’t enough.”
“Why didn’t your father do something?”
Aria looked stunned, did she really not know, “He’s dead, he’s been dead for awhile, it’s the whole reason my mother went under suicide watch in the first place.”
“Oh.” Lillian sighed, “Renée and Tyler. They were a perfect couple. The O’Reilly are truly the strangest family,”
“Terrible, would be the word I’d describe them as.” Aria replied
“You know you’re bunching me in there.” Lillian said.
“Why did you come here?” Aria said changing the subject.
“Frank wanted to know where you went when you disappeared.” Lillian said turning to Frank.
Aria remembered Frank was very quiet and always did as he was told without question. He was pale with thick glasses and a buzz cut. He had blonde hair so he really looked bald. He was constantly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“Why did you leave us, Aria?” Frank asked, “We needed your life to ensure our family’s well being. Iona wanted to be the head of the family, and you weren’t going to let her.”
“I packed up my clothes, and bought a ticket to Portland. The first year I went to high school and lived on the streets. I soon found a part-time job and I worked my butt off, to get into college, to buy an apartment, you have no idea what I’ve been through. I had to sleep with my earnings duct taped to my stomach when I slept. Do have any idea how hard it was to maintain a good GPA while living on the streets and working? But I got into college, and I had to pay for some of it. And I didn’t get a dime from the family I left behind.” Aria explained.
Frank looked at his feet then said, “If you had stayed home you wouldn’t have to go to college.”
“What did I have living in that house, Frank?” Aria asked, “I lived in the attic and didn’t have a mattress. My birthdays were just another day of the week, my parents almost spit in hatred every time they spoke my name!”
Then Anise, who was blonde with large blue eyes, spoke, “Aria, I’m sorry, “Anise pulled out a roll of duct tape, “were taking you to Iona’s house.”
Aria suddenly collapsed with fear. Matt and Kathleen had waited in the hall while they talked, so Anise, Frank and Lillian taped shut her mouth and tied together her hands and feet, then Lillian shoved her in a trash bag and walked out of the apartment.
“What’s that?” Matt asked Lillian, pointing to the trash bag.
“Oh, Aria just had some things that belonged to us.” Lillian said innocently, “She just was giving them back.”
So Lillian, Frank and Anise walked to the elevator, while Matt and Kathleen walked back into their apartment.
“Aria, I’m leaving for work now, Aria? Aria!” Matt shouted, but there was no reply.
Matt realized what had happened and sprinted down to the stairs,
He reached the parking garage just in time to see them pulling out of the garage. Matt quickly jumped into his car and sped up to catch them. Matt followed them for awhile until the pulled up to a brick house with white columns. It was a two story house that seemed pretty old.
He saw Frank and Lillian step out of the car and walk back to the trunk where the pulled out the garbage bag. Then Anise stepped out and helped them carry it in the house. Matt followed them inside and with some stoke of luck, he managed to get inside without being noticed. He followed them into the living room and saw Iona sitting on a green vintage sofa with Aria’s uncle taped to it. His mouth was taped so he was going on about how he’s going to report this to the police. Iona was calmly sipping from a cup of tea. When Lillian walked in with the bag, she smiled and said, “You brought her?” she asked.
Lillian frowned and said, “Of course.”
Lillian opened the bag and pulled out Aria. Matt saw her hands and feet taped together and her mouth was covered with a piece of duct tape. When Aria saw Iona she started to cry. Iona pulled out a black leather belt, with a brass buckle. Matt was didn’t know what to do, and he accidently bumped into a table with a flower vase on it, knocking it over. Lillian walked over to where he was and pulled him into the room.
“Perfect. Now you can see her suffer, that’s why I brought her uncle her, too.” Iona commented when she saw Lillian bringing him in.
Lillian and Frank held him back and Iona held up the belt again and hit her leg. Aria cried harder. Iona hit her again in the same spot. She kept hitting her leg until it bled. Then she bent down and ripped of the duct tape covering her mouth. Aria wailed,
“PLEASE!!! STOP IT!!!!! IT HURTS!!!! STOP IT!!” she screamed.
Iona hit her again and said, “Shush, the neighbors will suspect something,”
Matt looked at her uncle and he was crying. Anise was sitting on the couch next to her uncle. Lillian and Frank were holding him back, he was struggling but it wasn’t working. Aria continued to scream and cry and beg Iona to stop. Now both of her legs, one of her arms and her cheek were bleeding and now Iona was working on her other arm.
“STOP IT!” Matt yelled, but Iona just smiled at him and continued.
“What can you do for her?” Iona asked him, “You can’t do anything.”
Iona looked back at Aria, “You’re disgusting.” Iona said.
“Iona, what did she do to you?” her uncle shouted.
“STOP!! PLEASE IONA!!!! IT HURTS!!!” Aria wailed.
Matt was still trying to get out of Frank and Lillian’s grip
“Are you enjoying this?” Iona asked Matt, “Seeing your girlfriend in pain. You see I don’t why you like her, look at her” Iona pointed to her, “She’s so weak she can’t even stand up to me, She’s the reason my dream of becoming my grandfather’s successor was crushed. All I wanted was for people to look up to me!”
“IONA!!! I’M SORRY!! PLEASE STOP!!! IT HURTS!!! I NEVER WANTED TO KILL THE FAMILY!!!” Aria screamed.
Iona turned to her and hit her, “As I said before, you’re too worthless to speak my name. I realize you’re not the kid you used to be, but you’re still weak. You still have flashbacks of me, and I left scars, your life was meant to be sacrificed, but you ran away and strayed from your destiny. Why? Because you thought you were better than us! You even changed your last name!!” Iona shouted.
“Aria doesn’t think that!” Matt shouted.
“Are you still talking?” Iona asked, “Do I have to discipline you like that worthless creature,” gesturing to Aria.
Iona started to walk to Matt.
“No! Don’t hurt him!!” Aria screamed.
Iona turned back toward Aria, “Oh, this’ll just hurt you.” She faced Matt and kissed him.
“There,” Iona said and walked back to Aria who was still crying but wasn’t screaming.
Matt was so stunned, he didn’t know why she did that.
Matt ripped himself from Lillian and Frank and ran to Aria. Right as Iona raised the belt, Matt dashed in front of her, so Iona hit Matt’s back.
Matt worked furiously on getting Aria undone from the duct tape as Iona kept hitting his back.
“Get out of the way, boy!” she said, “This is between me and her!”
When Matt finally ripped the duct tape off her hands and feet, they both stood up, and Aria slapped Iona.
Iona held her cheek in shock. Aria said, “Stop this. Iona, you don’t want to hurt people.”
Iona dropped the belt as Aria and Matt walked to her crying uncle. They undid him and they all stood up.
Iona picked up the belt and swung it at Aria but Matt grabbed it, “I’m sorry. When you kissed me, I didn’t understand why you did that, but now I do. You wanted Aria to be jealous. But I’m sorry.” He said.
Iona cried, “All I wanted was to be head of the family, I wanted her to realize what it meant to me.” She cried and Aria went up to her and hugged her.
“I’m so sorry, Iona.” Aria said.
Iona cried harder in Aria’s arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Iona said in response, and they pulled apart, “You have a nice girl here,” she said to Matt.
Matt, Aria, and her uncle walked out to Matt’s car. And they all drove back to Matt’s apartment.
When they drove into the parking garage, Kathleen was standing next to a man with black hair that was curly.
Everyone in the car hopped out.
“Where were you?!” Kathleen asked, “I was so worried that I called Hector!”
“Who’s Hector?” Matt asked.
Kathleen blushed, “I’m sorry. But me and Hector have been going out for weeks, Matt.”
“Hi, I’m Hector,” said the curly haired man.
“Ok, I’m Matt, I’m her brother. This is Aria and her uncle.” Matt said gesturing to Aria and Thomas.
“Hi.” Aria and her uncle said.
“Oh my God!” Kathleen said, “What happened to you?!”
“We’ll explain everything inside.” She said staring at her feet.
They all walked to the elevator and went up to the fourth floor. When they got to the apartment, Matt, Aria, and her uncle explained everything that had happened to Hector and Kathleen.
Kathleen stood up and went into the kitchen area and came back with a first aid kit. She ordered Aria and Matt to let her clean up their wounds. She cleaned Matt’s back first, and he was sitting crossed-legged next to Aria.
“Say, for a present, what do you want?” he asked her, already knowing her response.
“Scar removing cream.” She said then giggled.
Everyone in the room laughed. Aria was happier than she’d been in a long time. She never had a family she could laugh with. She loved everyone in the room, even Hector, who she just met. When Kathleen was done bandaging her body, she asked, “Hey, you’re Aria’s uncle? Do you want to live with us? We have an extra single mattress. If you don’t mind sleeping in this room?”
He smiled and Aria smiled. “Ok!” he said simply.
So everyone Aria loved was going to be living with her. She was happy. That night everyone ate a simple meal of ramen together. Aria laughed along with everyone. She realized she didn’t want to go back to Portland. She wanted to stay in New York with her new family.
Hector and Matt pulled out the single mattress and set it down in the corner of the room. Kathleen got the sheets and put it on the bed.
“Do you like it here?” Thomas asked Aria.
“Absolutely,” She replied without a second thought. Thomas smiled and went to join the others.
Aria kissed her uncle on the forehead before she went to sleep. And said goodnight to Hector and Kathleen. Then Aria and Matt went into their room. Aria laid down and pulled the covers over her body and Matt did the same.
“Matt, before we go to sleep I want you to kiss me.” Aria said while blushing.
Matt didn’t say anything, just leaned over to her face and kissed her.
“You’re the most amazing person I’ve met.” He said.
Aria smiled and said, “Matt, I’m so happy here. I never want to leave. Because I love everyone, especially you. I learned something today; I learned that laughing is truly the most wonderful experience ever!”

When the flowers realize they don’t want to hate, they have to change. It can be hard, but usually they do it. You can’t be born again, but you can change.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. –Helen Keller
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Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:21 pm
joshuapaul says...



Wow 9,000 words... I think you will be hard pressed to find someone that will randomly critique this for you. If you are interested in getting some serious feed back I suggest you make your way to " Will review for food" In community forums. Here you will find a buffet of reviewers with different preferences and some may prefer longer works.
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Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:36 pm
CrimsonArrow says...



Thanks!
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Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:50 am
Amberla93 says...



Okay, here we go. First I would like to say, that this wasn;t stupid. It was quite grand actually. I'm used to reading much shorter things on here, such as poems and such but whenI began this I couldn't stop, here are some tips though.

Give just a little bit of a back story, one thing that I kept wondering is why Iona wanted to be head of the family so much. Why were they so important? Where did the prophecy come from? Things of that nature.

Another thing is in many of the sentences you use thier names to much like here, for example,

"Matt ripped himself from Lillian and Frank and ran to Aria. Right as Iona raised the belt, Matt dashed in front of her, so Iona hit Matt’s back."

A way to re-write this might be;
Matt ripped himself away from Lillian and Frank and ran to Aria. Just as Iona raised the belt, he dashed in front of her so that she his back instead of Aria.
Or something like that.

Also, sometimes, more so near the begining, your sentences were chopped up into pieces where they could have flowed more easily, like here;
"Her hair was a caramel color. Her hair flew to her mid back. In Portland she had gotten layers cut, which gave her hair more life." You could put;
Her hair was a carmel color, and flew to her mid back. In Portland she had gotten layers cut, which gave her hair more life then it'd had before.

Lastly, my advice to you, is go over it again, there are some places where the words are mispelled or sometimes left out you were typing so quicly. (I know, I've been there.) Please don't misunderstand, I loved it. Truly I did, but the ending was a bit unrealistic. Her Uncle would not have moved in, and Iona, certainly would not have stopped so easily. Please think about what I've said... I'm sorry if my review was too long, and I hope you take what I've said to be constructive critisem, because truly thats what it was meant to be. You are talented i can say that much, and I look forward to reading more from you.

God Bless,
Amber.
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Daddy Long Legs are more closely related to crabs than spiders and somehow the idea of crablike creatures with spider legs that have escaped the entrappings of the primordial sea and now crawl over land and can walk up and down walls and ceilings creeps me more than I can adequately describe.
— Snoink