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Young Writers Society


Super Boy



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Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:37 am
SASSYLADY333 says...



Super Boy

Chapter One

‘All know the name of Superman, but it is only in the last few years we know the name of Super Boy; Superman’s son. Super Boy has chosen to follow in the foot steps of his father, stopping crime and hearing the cry of the innocent.

It was to the world’s astonishment when he restarted the family business at eleven years old. He was in deed considered the most amazing fifth grader in the world.

Now he’s sixteen years old, his great efforts going strong. But who is he, how does he do it? Is he like any other teenager, moody and rebellious? Can his super genes deter that?

How does he stop robberies and finish all his home work on time?
The world may ask and wonder, but not me I’m a reporter. And I’ll cover Super Boy with every fiber of my bean. I can and I will succeed to fulfill the curiosity of our community.

This has been a letter to you, personally from Bailey High School’s Top Reporter.

Sincerely,

Fonda Gears

Catherine but down her copy of the paper in amazement, “ Are you insane Fonnie?”

“ Yeah, but I’ve learned to accept It.” I shrug taking a bite of my apple skin.

Daniel was a little irritated Fonda could tell, “ What are you going to do? Stalk Super Boy? Or better yet, feed him lunch after a hard day of work for one question?”

She nodded her head, “ No, of course not. The last thing I want to do is make him feel stalked. I want him to be open with us, his peers. Show us, he has a human side. You know, give him a chance to open up to our future gangs and criminals. As good as our school is, about fifty percent will chose the bad road. If people know he’s on our side, maybe he could make a difference in a whole new way. You know what I mean?”

Catherine was doing that weird thing with her eyebrows and said , “ Well, the girl does make a good point.”

Jason was wiping his foggy glasses once again, ‘What? is she walking around here again? In her one inch skirts that could save twenty lives in Africa?’

Fonda thought about saying that but stopped herself and said, “ What, do you think it’s a bad idea?”

Jason shook his head, “No, no it’s a good idea, and just you know journalism can get kind of dangerous.”

Her heart swelled up, at the idea of Jason having concern for her.

“ Well, I thought long and hard about this for a year now. And I have to do this, I have to take risks. If it turns out to be a bad idea then I’ll forget about it and respect his privacy. But you know curiosity drives me.”

The bell rang and she got up from the table and headed to class. She walked fast, hoping her idea was a good one. Surprisingly, even Fonda Gears had doubts.

* * *
“On November 3, take note I was imprisoned in the main directors office once again. The first time this year half understandable, but now this is harassment.

I mean I have classes to attend! As I am a busy journalist, attending classes when possible is very important. I mean I can’t let you know, who become Valedictorian.

So I’ll be recording this whole then, once again with out their permission.”

Fonda quickly hid her MP6 as principal Walker came in the room.

“ Were you saying something Fonda?”

Fonda laughed, “ What? No, sir.”

Mr. Walker sat down in his desk, and looked at her seriously. And Fonda wore her simple innocent smile to annoy him.” Now about this months edition of Top News.”

“ It’s fabulous right? Who knew every one was taking pottery and art over home economics?”

“ Not that, the news letter!”

“ Oh, that, it’s just a tiny little letter. Kind of like our mini adds really. I’m sure no one saw it.”

Mr. Walker stood up in anger and began to shout, “No one saw it? It covered an entire page on the back!”

“ Exactly who would look on the back?”

“ EVERYONE in this darn school is talking about it!”

She gasped , “Oh, no! are you telling me I’m a victim of gossip! Well, Mr. Walker I’ll have to do, what I’ve always done. Ignore people, I’m sure your very concerned, but really I’ll be fine.”

Mr. Walker was left in awe, his baldhead spinning, and Fonda got up and left the room in a hurry. Just as she walked down the hall she heard him screaming the secretary’s name.

Before Fonda’s laugh could even be heard the bell rang and school was over. She hurried to her locker to get her back pack. As she closed the locker she saw Jason standing there, waiting for her.

“ Oh, uh…hi Jason.”

“ Hey, Fonda. I was wondering…”

“ What?”

“ You know how you always get the stories and I take the pictures…”

“ Oh, don’t worry if you don’t want to take pictures of Super Boy it’s fine with me.”

“ No, no I do I just wanted to make sure we were doing this together.”
Fonda always in a hurry, began walking down the hall, “ What do you mean together?”

She always got her stories by herself; it’s what Fonda called her alone time. Plus it was always an exciting rush she got finding something out that only she knew and getting home in time to write about it. Fonda had to share that now? Well, then, who other than Jason?

“ But, why? You know I always do research on my own. And you never seemed interested before.” Fonda was about to turn down the main hall when he grabbed her arm and said,

“ Because it’s dangerous okay? You know that I know Super Boy, and his life isn’t something we can follow unscathed.”

She nodded thinking; ‘Jason’s family is close to Superman’s family I guess they have family dinners occasionally.’

“ I see what you mean, this is going to be a challenge Jason, and if you want to come along for the ride that’s fine.”

“ We work together then,” he said, “ It’s decided.”

And in a mist of a bunch of cheerleaders, Jason was gone.
Last edited by SASSYLADY333 on Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:47 am, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:54 am
biancarayne says...



nd I’ll cover Super Boy with every fiber of my bean. bean should be being...unless, u meant to put bean for some reason i didn't catch on to. Anyways, the story was kind of bland and, though it was an awesomely cool idea, the story itself didn't pull me in and I'm not sure why exactly. It could be very interesting, but for some reason it wasn't. Do something to spice it up maybe, something to draw the reader in. Sorry, I know that's not very helpful. But anyways, definitely a very unique idea and this promises to be a good story, with some editing and revision!
  





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Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:13 am
SASSYLADY333 says...



True, i guess. I have about twenty pages of Super Boy and JackBauerHasAbald spot liked it. But you may be right maybe chapter one alone is not interesting. I haven't read it in a few months should edit that part[ bean to being] hehehe.
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow. :)
  





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Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:31 am
damned_bullet93 says...



That's a nice plot actually. Writing from a journalist's point of view and probably falling in love with Super Boy or... Jason. Maybe if you could fix some parts and make it look interesting, it'll be really cool.
:D :D :D :D :D :D Sure.
  





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Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:41 am
SASSYLADY333 says...



Thanks, I'm working in a prologue right this second, lol. Maybe i'll update this and post it in a few days. I'll review some of your work DB93, appreciate the comment. ;)
  





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Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:25 am
Rydia says...



Just a few comments...

Super Boy has chosen to follow in the foot steps of his father, stopping crime and hearing the cry of the innocent. I think footsteps is one word...

He was in deed considered the most amazing fifth grader in the world. Indeed is also one word and I think it would be better to use certainly or definitely. That or rephrase it - Indeed, he was considered the most amazing... rather than He was indeed considered...

How does he stop robberies and finish all his home work on time? Again, I'm pretty sure homework is one word.

As good as our school is, about fifty percent will choose the bad road.


So I’ll be recording this whole then, once again with out their permission.” Without is one word.

“ It’s fabulous right? Who knew every one was taking pottery and art over home economics?” And I think everyone is one word too. Hmm. Do you split words in America or something? Only there seem to be an awful lot of this kind of mistake...

I’m sure you're very concerned, but really I’ll be fine.”

Mr. Walker was left in awe, his baldhead spinning, and Fonda got up and left the room in a hurry. Bald and head are two seperate words.

____________
Other than that, the idea is quite interesting.
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.
  





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Tue Jun 12, 2007 5:21 am
Foreseer says...



Hey, this is a good idea. I don't think I've seen one like it :D Just a few grammar stuff, but other than that I liked it. You could definately add a little more background, like about Fonda Gears or about Jason, you know. Also, adding more spice will make it better, too.

Keep writing :wink:

*Foreseer*
~*~It's Not Faith If You Use Your Eyes ~*~
- Miracle by Paramore
  





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Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:17 am
SASSYLADY333 says...



Thanks! I will, I'm defintely excited to add more to this story. :)
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow. :)
  








Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a car game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant tomorrow? And we couldn't wait to grow up.
— Unknown