Young Writers Society

This is a Greek myth I wrote for school, although you don't really need to know that much about the Greek gods to understand it. And as always, any title ideas are very much appreciated.

Quick Lesson On Greek Mythology

Poseidon controls the sea, another one of their brothers, who is not relevent to the story, controls the underworld, and Zeus controls everything else. I forget what Hera is the goddess to, but I think that she really was Zeus' wife...don't hold me to that, though.

A long time ago, the seas were calm as the skies raged around them. When the sea was wild, killing many of the sailors, there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Zeus and Poseidon controlled these terrible storms, but they were kind enough to never create them at the same time. They would simply stand back and watch as the other got angry, waiting for the storm to settle before creating their own. This created peace in the world, for when Poseidon was angry, everyone would go to land and pray to Zeus to calm his brother. When Zeus was angry, which happened much more often, they would go in ships to the middle of the oceans, waiting for the storm to calm, praying to Zeus to settle down, for even Zeus’s own brother couldn’t make him let up the storm when he was angry.

Because of all this, all the people on the land lived in harmony for a while, waiting for storms, living in their homes that had been re-built continuously because of Zeus’s untamed storms, or in the calm seas, waiting for Zeus to quiet. Although Poseidon was very powerful, they realized that Zeus was even more so, since his storms were so much worse. But none of the storms compared to the one that Poseidon and Zeus created at the same time, when Zeus found Hera betraying him.

~*~

“Hera!’ Zeus called, nearly skipping down the large hall from happiness. “Hera, where are you?”

‘Oh, no!’ Hera immediately thought as she heard Zeus calling for her. ‘What’s he doing home so early?’ She quickly placed her hand on Poseidon’s chest, making it appear as it she was trying to stop the kiss. Luckily, she was a good actress, so when Zeus’s head appeared around the oak double doors, he instantly assumed that Hera did not want Poseidon to be kissing her.

Zeus’s mouth dropped open as he gaped at his brother and his wife standing right in front of him. All of his previous happy thoughts immediately left him, and his hands clenched into fists by his side. Tiny bolts of light were flying from his fingers, and his breathing became heavy from the feeling of pure hatred he had for his brother.

“POSEIDON!!!” Zeus bellowed, so loud that Hera winced, sure it would wake up everyone on Mount Olympus. “What. Do. You. Think. You. Are. DOING?!?” his voice was so menacing, the walls around them shook, and Poseidon stepped away from his brother.

“Z…Ze…Zeus…You’re home early…” he stuttered, glancing at Hera, begging her with his eyes to control her husband. She simply looked at the ground, still keeping up her act of the damsel in distress that Zeus had to save.

“How DARE you kiss my WIFE?!?” Zeus demanded, his large frame now towering over his older brother’s. Far off, a clap of thunder shot threw the air like a gunshot, and the sky grew steadily darker.

“I…” Poseidon began, backing against the wall, trying to get as far away from Zeus as possible.

“I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.” Zeus spoke each word slowly and carefully, yet he sounded as calm as if he were simply stating the weather.

“Zeus…Brother…Be reasonable…Please…It wasn’t what it looked like…”

“Oh? Well, then, what WAS it?”

Poseidon looked at his feet guiltily with no comeback.

~*~

Now, everyone knows that god’s are immortal. But very few of us, that is to say, mortals, know that immortals can kill other immortals. It’s something about his or her immortality canceling the other one’s immortality out, although no one really understands it. The important thing was that this was not an empty threat. Zeus really could, and, by the look in his eyes, would murder his own brother. Of course, being as narrow-minded as he is, Zeus never realized that Hera actually wanted to kiss Poseidon, and that she had been doing just that for several nights in a row now, although Poseidon clearly gives it away. How else would he know when it was ‘usual’ for Zeus to be home if he wasn’t there every evening? If was only by pure luck that they hadn’t been caught before, since Zeus rarely stayed at work until his shift ended. He certainly had enough power to deal with anyone who protested against him leaving so early.

~*~

Zeus could no longer restrain himself. With an almighty roar, a flash of lightning hit the roof, shattering it to shreds. Thunder interrupted the once silent night, and bolts of lightning destroyed every single golden piece of furniture in the room, until everything was a charcoal black. Poseidon gave a yell of fury as the bolts narrowly missed him, and the seas instantly became a wild, frothy white.

Finally, Zeus’s lightning hit its mark. As his brother fell to his knees before him, he whispered, “Look what you’ve done…” knowing that they’d be his last words.

Zeus just laughed at the sight before him, and then gave the room a quick 360, looking for his wife. His eyes finally fell on her, and he gasped at the sight.

Hera’s limp body was sprawled on the floor, blood gushing from her head, where a large piece of the ceiling had hit her. Zeus fell to his knees, his heart aching. “NO!!!” He bellowed, as the night gave a mighty roar of thunder, mirroring his anger and grief. He wept into his hands. “I killed Hera…I killed Hera…” he repeated over and over to himself like a mantra.

Zeus couldn’t bear to look at his deceased wife any longer. He forced himself to get up, amazed that his legs were still moving, and walked out of the doorframe that was still barely standing. Refusing to look back, he alerted the first one of his many maids that there was a mess in his room, and walked out of the great oak doors into the raging storm.

~*~

After his brother’s death, Zeus gained control over the seas. Whenever he was particularly angry, his storms raged up again, but they were never as deadly as the night he had killed Hera. He wouldn’t allow himself to create such as destructive storm again. However, now that he controlled both the skies and the seas, us mortals had to find new ways to protect themselves from his anger. Luckily, we developed new technology that allowed us to live on the land and the seas as the storms raged around us. Very few of us remember the night that Zeus and Poseidon created their storms together, but those who do wish that night had never happened, for it had destroyed all peace whenever there was a storm. Thankfully, their were fewer storms since Zeus was too busy grieving, but every Spring, around the same time Hera had died so many years before, the skies would shower much more often, and those of us who were around for the first storm remember the reason why; because Zeus is grieving over the loss of his loved one, still rightfully blaming himself for her death.

This needs a lot of work, if you want it to amount to anything. There's places where you confuse "there" and "their," and spots where you use "it's" where you mean "its," stuff like that. To anybody who knows anything much about Greek mythology, this is pretty boring and unimaginative. The idea of putting a new spin on something old is . . . a pretty old idea itself, but not a bad one. I like the idea of Zeus and Poseidon making storms at the same time. Perhaps if you slowed down the pace of the story, and really put some thought into the plot, say times when Poseidon got angry on his own, times when Zeus was mad by himself, a time or two when they made storms together, say against some enemy, like a Titan or something, and then threw in the cheating business, it would be better. Mind you, cheating in Greek mythology is a pretty normal . . . affair, no pun intended. And . . . I mean . . . you had two immortals fight . . . and . . . the fight scene was barely present. Poseidon didn't seem to put up much of a fight. Come on, he's the second strongest god in the pantheon. Have him put up some serious dukes! Maybe even have a war between minions of Zeus and Poseidon. Something like that. For classroom work, well, this is classroom work. As literature, it's not really anything yet, but it has some ideas that you could do something with. Add some other characters, craft a less dull plot, have some real character interaction and psychology exploration, and the notion of two gods who sort of worked together eventually getting mad and one killing the other could actually be a pretty fun read. Good luck.

I found this story rather interesting. It certainly caught my attention. (You're the author of Hunter Garrett! I just had to read this!) But, on a serious note, this is wonderful. From what you said before, I take it you already turned this in for school? If it's a real assignment you want graded, could you post the assignment? This is a pretty cool school assignment...I'm jealous.

Anyway...

In the middle of the story, you, as the narrator, tell us all about immortals, like it's a school paper. XD Maybe you could cut out the breaks and blend in the information more, make it flow with the story. Don't just tell me. If you want to tell me, make a Forward or something. Of course, it's a school thingy. Thay may not be a bright idea...*shrug*

I agree the fight I was looking forward to was really short. Before I knew it started, Hera died. Maybe throw Leviathen in there or some of Zeus' kids? I dunno. Lengthen the fight, though. That's a cool part that would catch anyone's attention!

However, at the end, the last paragraph was very well written. I liked that explanation for the increase number of rainshowers during spring. However, I didn't know it was spring in the beginning of the story. Maybe you said it and I missed it, but I don't recall such information.

Maybe Hades should get involved. I mean, Zeus is creating this awful big storm against his own brother. Maybe Hades was interested and wanted to watch the show or have some fun himself? You can certainly throw in a lot more characters than just the three.

I spotted a couple grammar mistakes, but I can't find them now. XD Reread and fix them, if you wish. I gotta go eat lunch.

Zeus lived in a house? I thought he lived on his big throne chair in the clouds! XD Maybe you could explain a tad bit more about their home.

I liked this work, though. As far as I know, it's pretty good for a school paper. Hope I helped at least a little bit!

Jabber, the One and Only!

First off-- Listen to Scribe, he's right.

All I'm gonna do is correct your mythology.

Zeus was the lord of the Heavens, the Earth was considered mutual territory between him, Hades, and Poseidon. Hera was indeed Zeus's wife, though her actual area of rule is disputable. Most just leave it at Marriage / Jealousy.

I just thought you should get the basics down before expanding.

Okay...for starters, Hera is the goddess of marital love. Which is exactly why she would NEVER cheat on Zeus. It was the other way around. Secondly, Hera is also their sister. Don't ask why Zeus married his sister, it still has me baffled. It would surprise me if Hera would cheat on her husband w/ her brother. If you changed the character of Hera to Athena instead, it would be a lot better for the story. Athena was the goddess of wisdom and Zeus' daughter who popped from his head rather randomly one day (the only one of Zeus' "bastard" children Hera did not despise). He might feel defensive of his daughter's honor and kill Poseidon out of rage for that. Or he could hate that Poseidon was taking advantage of Athena and kill him for that reason. Anyway, it would make your story more logical (at least, that's my opinion).

Alright, I'm doing some research now. They gave us about three days to write this in school, which is why I didn't do much research. (I can't believe I'm researching-it's summer!) Once I understand it better, I will rewrite it and post it again.

Thanks for the help!