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Young Writers Society


Romantic Fiction: A Fine Romance



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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 19
Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:21 am
amoerizzle says...



The waitress set the coffee down in front of him and smiled. It was a small town diner in a small town. Trace Johnson hated small towns and small town diners. Still, he couldn’t help himself and smiled back.

She was definitely cute with curly blonde hair, deep green eyes, and cheekbones that the women of Hollywood would kill for. Something about her was familiar, but she had one of those faces that could easily be mistaken for a well known model or actress. She had the movie star looks and he wondered what she was doing in a town like Grandlan.

Hell, he didn’t even know what he was doing in this Godforsaken town. He looked down at the plate in front of him. It was piled high with warm, buttermilk biscuits and thick sausage gravy. If there was one good thing about small towns, it was the food. Everyone loved to eat and there was always plenty to go around.

He looked out the window, past the far from crowded diner parking lot, and into the city streets. He noticed a group of women sitting in front of an old, yellow house. One sat frowning, while the other two laughed. Trace put them around mid-50’s. He smiled as he watched their ease with each other and was envious of ther apparent bond. Their faces were wrinkled and showed of hard work, but through their eyes he saw only happiness.

He had just found his story.



Lucy Cambell noticed him immediately. He sat there in the booth looking uncomfortable and sullen. Dressed in a sharp suit, while others wore plaid and work boots, he was definitely out of place. And he seemed to know it. A man like Trace Johnson wasn’t from the same world as the 200 people that populated Grandlan.

Her mother had warned Lucy of his town month stay. Trace was the town’s local celebrity and he had lived here for half his life, so she wasn’t surprised to hear that he was coming back. She was surprised, however, to hear that his reason for returning was to research her mother.

Lucy and Trace grew up together. They were each other’s best friends until Lucy’s father died and she moved to Boston with her mother. At only twelve, Trace was heartbroken. Lucy promised him that one day she would return to him. And at twenty-two, fresh out of college, she did.

She gave up everything she had in Boston, including a great job, a wonderful apartment, and a fiancé unwilling to make the move with her. When she had got back to town, she found that Trace had moved on years before to pursue a writing career.

As a child, she had had a love for him that only the innocent and carefree could feel. Now, fifteen years later, she was more than disappointed to find that he hadn’t expected her to come back. Seeing him again brought back painful memories, but she was excited to see if they could build their friendship back.



Walking down Main Street, Trace thought back at the year when he would ride up and down this block on his bicycle. The memories of his childhood flooded his mind, making it impossible for him to concentrate on the reason he was there in the first place.

He had been a bit anxious to come back to Grandlan and see Mrs. Cambell -Lucy’s mom - again. After two days in town without seeing Lucy, he figured she hadn’t returned. Her mom hadn’t mentioned her either A small part of him as relieved that he wouldn’t have to explain the reasons he took off years ago. He was sure she would understand, but there was a part of him that thought she might resent him for it.
Although he was relieved, he was also disappointed.

There hadn’t been a day in the past eighteen years that he hadn’t thought of her. He was hoping to see her again. To take her in his arms and finally feel complete. He knew that she was what was missing in his life. The women he tried to replace her memory with could never hold a candle to Lucy and what she meant to him.

“Trace!” The soft exclamation came from behind him. He turned and was surprised to see the pretty waitress from the diner. Their eyes connected and he was once again shocked by the familiar look of her. Then his jaw dropped and his whole mind went blank. The blonde curls, the green eyes that could always make him weak in the knees…this was his Lucy.

He took a step forward and she ran into his arms, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

“Oh, Trace. I…” Her words trailed off as she looked up into his eyes and got lost in their chocolate pools. She was drowning in the warmth of them. Heat flooded her body. She needed him to kiss her. “Trace, please!” she begged.

His head immediately dipped as their lips brushed. Trace tightened his hold on her as he slid his tongue along her lips, gently parting them. A moan erupted from him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and opened to him. Their tongues danced, teasing each other into passion. He grabbed her hips and drew her up against his body. Her soft, supple body against his hard one nearly drove him crazy.

Slowly, he came to his senses, realizing that they were still standing in the middle of Main. Trace pulled away and noticed a few gawking passer-bys. Trace glared at them until the continued on, then turned his attention back to Lucy, who was nervously rearranging her clothing. He stopped her busy hands and grinned down at her. Slowly, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly to him.

“God, I’ve missed you, Luce,” he said and she buried her head deeper into his shoulder. And there he stood, in the middle of the smallest town he had ever seen, and held the woman he loved.
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 890
Reviews: 2
Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:38 am
jackhinks says...



You were getting into the beginning well and did a really, really good job setting the scene. You had the feel of the diner down SO well. That's probably my favorite part.

The romance itself seemed rushed and doesn't seem to fit in with the style of the piece too well. If you fleshed out the end a bit, maybe drew a few more connections to the past, I think this piece would be really good! Just be careful to avoid cliche when writing romance! It's horribly difficult, but will make the piece better over all!

A few small typographical errors, but nothing much!

You do a fantastic job with description though!
  





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67 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 67
Fri Oct 07, 2005 8:05 pm
AngelBaby88 says...



WOW...I really love this story....please hurry up and continue with it...I cant wait to hear more. :D
see others how you want to be seen
  





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22 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 22
Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:56 am
FireGirl says...



This is nice...I like the way you started it out...good work!
We cannot kindle when we will;
The Fire in which our heart resides;
The spirit bloweth and is still,
In mystery our soul abides.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 17
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:41 am
Madhatter66 says...



Awwww thats pretty good, just some parts lack feeling and emotion, but overall its good. Keep up the good work :wink:
~+Laugh and the World Laughs With You, Weep and You Weep Alone+~
  








Prometheus, thief of light, giver of light, bound by the gods, must have been a book.
— Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves