Young Writers Society

Okay, this is going to be my first story on the site, I don't have a title for it yet but if you have any ideas,please tell me. The story is dated back in the 1700's. It's a story about a prince (Edward) that is the moost eligable bachelor of the while country ( Give me ideas for the name of the country ). The country is between the borders of the scandenavian countrys and Arabian countrys. It Just signed a treatee with Soudie Arabia ang the young prince must now become the new king. But there's on loop hole. He's supposed to be married to get the crown. So his parents decide to set an arranged marriage with the princess of Soudie Arrabia (Teirrah) to put the icing of the peace cake. But the prince does not want o marry her because he wants to be in lovefirst. When he meets his new hand maid Ieda, a young woman who gives him advice about his life and stuff, hee falls madly in love with her and she falls in love with him. They secretly get married and sneak around because they don't want to jeperdize the prince. When the prince's best friends (Amy and Jason (Amy is secretly in love with the prince)) finds out about the secret marriage of the prince and that princess Teirrah is really evil, Jason, Amy, Edward and Ieda plot to save the kingdome and break the news to the price's parents that he's already married. But almost everthing backfires when Ieda becomes precnant and runs away after her and the Prince go through a nasty argument and she runs away. Will they save the kingdome? Will Prince Edward and Ieda get back together? Will the Princess be stoped? Will the king and queen ever find out about Ieda? Will Edward become king? Will Amy be able to tell the prince she's in love with him? You'll have to find out.

Ps: Comment on the plot ( the story is already written on paper )

wow! this sounds like its going to be a great story

Um... I really think... that.... *blank*
You should have posted this as a summary elsewhere first off.... Secondly....
*Mind draws a long obnoxious blank and I forget how to solve equations*

I don't think you should have a time (i.e. 1700) without a country.... because if this is a false country then time doesn't really matter much.

"Soudie Arrabia"

Saudia Arabia (me thinks)

Honestly, if you can't figure out the country Idea and Edward come from, but then have a real country here, then... What the bloody motherloving hockey pucks woman?! You mispelled various words in the plot, and I'd hate to think of the story.

You should decide on whether or not the countries will be real or not, becaus eyou can't throw in random countries from Lala Daisy Land and then Saudia Arabia.

The plot seems similar to that of Romeo and Juilet and this new Tristan and Isolde. (Also that of Romeo and Winifred but that's entirely different).

So... enough said I believe... Enough... said.

Well... first of all, all the questions at the end show that you've got a lot of loose ends to tie up. I hope you have an idea of how to do that, that you're not telling us, or if you don't, then you really should sit down and think up solutions for that BEFORE you start writing.

Other than that, you have three girls (Teirrah, Ieda, and Amy) and only one guy (Edward), and unfortunetly, at the moment it sounds like you only have one of them as a "bad" character. That makes it so one of the girls is going to end up heart-broken and honestly, it creates problems for Amy just because Ieda is carrying Edward's child. It sounds to me like you have to somewhere in there make either Ieda or Amy another "bad" character so that at the end you don't have anyone telling Edward, "You idiot! You should have married so-and-so!" Either that or you can't ever have Amy tell Edward and have her end up a "martyr for love" type of character (basically, have her never tell and be happy that Edward is happy with whoever it is he ends up marrying).

Those are just the comments off the top of my head.

I agree with TBR that this sounds a little bit too much like Tristan and Isolde, just reversed because it's the guy that has to marry for politics instead of the girl, but I think you could make it different enough in the details and characters once you get into the actual writing of it.

Your right about the three characters. The plot of the three girls, are sortas messed up. I was thinking that Amy should be those jealous girls that are really posessive, but in the origional story, Teihran REALLY had some anger management problems. But my friend challenged me to rewrite the story to change the components to make it sound less like Tristan and Isolde. Even though now it's really confusing with adding all the loopholes. I should make less problems for now and focus on the mental characeristics of the characters with thier whole point in the story. Thx alot for the constructive critisism * i can't spell, i'm french*