Young Writers Society

Love You, Hate You, Miss You (The End)

I love you.

I love how you laugh, how you talk, how you smile. Sometimes seeing all of it is the highlight of my day. I love how ropy your arms are, casually slung around my shoulders; I love how your creativity explodes out of you any way that it can; I love how proud you are when the script comes out of your mouth just right. My heart swells when I see you, but I shrink back, afraid of being seen and rejected. Your friendship is priceless, your humor is timeless. I love all of it.

I hate you.

You’re insensitive, rash, immature, and plain stupid. You don’t think before you speak, setting off a war without even knowing, and you have no respect for anyone, not even yourself. I can see it when no one else is looking- you're lost in your own world, your own problems, absorbed in your ego. You’re too moody for anyone to handle, and you’re so, so childish. I have all the reason in the world to slap you, hit you, kick you; to yell at you, fight with you, scream at you. I hate all of it.

I miss you.

There’s a void where you should be. Do you remember how it felt when you lost a tooth, and where you poked your tongue, there was nothing there but slippery flesh? That emptiness- that’s how I feel when you’re not there. I need you here, to make me blush with your too-close body, to make me laugh with your wild gestures, and to make me furious with your thoughtless sharp words. You’ve become a part of my life, like the stage is, like the air I breathe is. I can’t get over you. You’re too much a part of me now. I’ll always miss you.

That’s all there is, I guess. When everything is stripped away and gone, that’s all that remains.

I love you.

I hate you.

I miss you.

The end.

This is wonderful. It sums up love... perfectly.

I don't really have much else to say. I know you may want grammar/spelling critiques, but there aren't really any that catch my eye.

It's such a right piece, if that makes any sense; it's the perfect combination of words to express the good, the bad, and the ugly of love. The words you used are pretty universal, but you still made them your own and made them apply to your personal relationship. And if this isn't coming from a personal experience, then you're very educated in love!

It doesn't even have to be romantic love.. it applies to all kinds of love: family, friends, everything.

Wonderful. (:

~Taylor

This was a good little story that basically describes love It was really good. I think you should try writing a novel or something like that hahaha you know what I mean Well great job!!!
Happy Writing!!!!!!
~Cassie9960~

I LOVE !

I liked it. Captures all those contradictory perceptions that come with passionate love.

Very good, hope to hear more like it!

Wow... this is so good! It really sums up love, every aspect of it, from the crazy to the normal, right through. I can't see any obvious spelling or grammar mistakes.

This is such a personal yet open poem, it really strikes the reader's heart and makes them smile, laugh, think. I think that this is one of the best short love stories I have seen, so congratulations! Keep writing please

~strawberrypop13

Hello! I review everything that has to do with Romance, I have no idea why but I'm pretty good at it ha-ha. Anyway, gettin' to the point here... your story here is amazing. The way you wrote it just shows character, personality, and feelings. This is perfectly written, no mistakes at all. But I was wondering, what's up with the word ropy? I don't even know what it means. Other than that little mistake... THIS IS AN AMAZING STORY!!!!

Keep Writing!

Nike

ohmahfruitcake. So good.

I love how you show the good and the bad--too many people, when romanticizing a person, gloss over their flaws.
I really just love this.

Hi, Ninja!

So, this was a really interesting story. I like how it's simple and to the point, and it doesn't waste excess time describing emotions that you already nail so well. I like how you don't give the characters names and you leave it kind of vague, which makes it easier to relate to. That being said, I think you can add a little bit more detail!

Right now, you've got these three emotions, and while they're all very real to describe someone that you love, I don't get any sense of conflicting overlap from this piece.

You could just as easily be describing three different people. Instead of just describing specific traits, I would really like to see you get into a little bit more detail regarding specific situations in which these traits of his are applied. Basically, how is he stupid? How is creative? To link it more, maybe you could get more into a good situation that turns into a bad one, or vice-versa.

The ending is also a little bit confusing; what happened? Did he die? Did they break up? What exactly has the narrator learned from her relationship with this boy?

In three short paragraphs, you attempt to give us a sense of development of the main character, and while I can see it poke through a little, there's room for more. At the end, does she look back on how stupid she was for being shy, how naive she was for refusing the look at the negative traits of the boy?

Overall, I think that this a good piece. It's grammatically sound and you definitely know what you're writing about; the talent is there. Hope this review helps! Feel free to drop me a note if you have any questions.

~ Elinor

I love this entire thing.

<3

Hello. Catchy title. xD

Sometimes seeing all of it is the highlight of my day.

- I think you should put a comma after 'Sometimes'.

I can see it when no one else is looking- you're lost in your own world...

- I think you should put a space before the dash here.

That emptiness- that’s how I feel when you’re not there.

- Same here about the dash.


You did a nice job laying out all of the emotions of the persona. I love how 'brutally honest s/he was. It's the strongest point of the story. And I like the few bits of imagery you put here and there.

Nice job, and never stop writing!

I liked this, you don't see love portrayed in society today like this, usually it is something that is glorified and something everyone wants. But this showcases the flaws and the things that sometimes happen with love. Structure and grammar wise, I really didn't see anything wrong. It was a joy to read. Keep Writing!!

This is a story that so many people live out just about every day. But you've told it in an effective and creative way! Expressing that jumble of emotions that ball up in the pit of your stomach whenever you set your eyes on someone you love or care for dearly. Be it a love interest, a sibling or even a parent, people always stand at this viewpoint at some times in their lives. "Love You, Hate You, Miss You" Is almost a painting of that view. Nice work!

This reminded me of my best friend/boyfriend; Whom I love oh so much. Great job! I don't see anything grammar wise that you could change. The detailing was great, but if you added more it would make this THAT much better. Definitely keep writing forever :] You just gained a new follower.