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Young Writers Society


The Queen Bee [Part Three]



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Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:02 pm
thecamillecalalas says...



Part One- viewtopic.php?t=82430
Part Two- viewtopic.php?t=83055


“Where’s sir Tony?” Melissa asked, wondering where their coach is.
She had agreed to meet with her Math Team and their coach after second period.
“He said he’ll be right back. He went to fetch our other team mate, the new one,” Therese said in a quiet tone.
Melissa liked Therese. They had known each other since when they were still kids. Their parents were usually business partners, and they would socialize during family and friends gatherings. Since Mel was a kid, she knew they were both different. Therese used to like different things and used to wear clothes different from hers. At school, they had different friends, but still managed to send a slight nod to each other which they both understood as a greeting when meeting the hallways. Though Therese was this silent little girl who wore baggy jeans and a backpack which Mel knew was expensive even if others didn’t notice, Melissa still liked her.

“Oh, and who would that be? I thought he’s choosing Em-em,” Mel wondered.
“He thinks Em-Em is sort of..a soft option and that she’s more likely to screw up. What with the commotion that happened last year..” Therese trailed.

Melissa nodded, remembering the awful incident. They had joined the Division Level of Metrobank Math Challenge. Em-Em had got the 10th place, in a tie with a student from Davao Science High. There was a sudden death and it turned out that Em-Em lost. She refused to accept the verdict and complained that her answer was the right answer for the problem. They got to the point that the Division Superintendent herself solved the problem, and proved that Em-em was wrong. Since then, Em-Em seemed to have lost the Math coaches’ trust, which for Mel, was unfair for her bestfriend, who had only done a single mistake.

“It’s funny...teachers don’t usually change their quizzers. It’s just sort of unfair you know... They weren’t the ones who experienced the pressure. And they just sort of did that, switched quizzers and...” Melissa’s words trailed.
“I couldn’t agree more,” Therese added. She raised her shoulders and said, “And besides, I guess your bestfriend wasn’t that humiliated. She still gained the campus’ praise by being crowned the new cheerleading captain.”
“Yeah, right,” Melissa said, rolling her eyes.
“Anyway, like I said, they chose a new quizzer. They didn’t ‘switch’ quizzers,” said Therese, quoting the word “switch” with her fingers.
“What? As if that would do any good? We need an experienced one-“ Melissa began.
“Hello quizzers. Sorry to keep you waiting,” Melissa’s words was cut off by a voice of a teacher who just came in.

It was sir Tony’s. Sir Tony was their coach and Math Iv Intermediate Algebra, Trigonometry, and Statistics teacher. A student was standing behind him- a tall, neat, and fair-skinned guy Melissa recognized as her classmate this year. She barely even knew him since they had different sections from freshman to junior year but she had an idea that he was one of those lower middle class people who were scholars of the school. At the start of senior year, the guy had transferred to their section, Melissa remembered. He was one of those students who complained about the class fund and who continued to complain this year as long as Melissa could remember. He was one of those students who joined the Anti- Student Govt. since Melissa’s term as a school treasurer. They even held a signature campaign for the fall of their council three months ago. He was one of those irksome students who annoyed Melissa to the nerves. The sight of him worsened the bad mood that she had since the start of the day.

“Okay people, I bet you’ve already known each other,” sir Tony began. “Ladies, here’s your classmate, Kurt Canza. He’s your new team mate.” He said this smilingly as if they’d just won in a raffle draw.
Melissa’s face looked smug. She still couldn’t believe her coach had chosen a non-honor student to represent the school in the Inter-School Math Quiz. She stood there motionless, her mouth open as if trying to speak.
Therese didn’t say anything as well.

“Well, I know this is a surprise. But I need him. We need him. And I’m pretty sure you’ll get along very well,” their coach said this while doing another dull smile. “So let’s get started with our review. Unfortunately, for now I will be at the faculty room because I have a few errands to do. So I guess, you should answer these review sheets while I take care of some things. In a day or two, I’ll check you out and see how far you’ve gone. Is that clear?” He clasped his hands in a we’re-done-here manner.

“Okay,” Therese finally managed to whisper a word in behalf of the three of them.
They each got their review sheets then their coach left. The system didn’t bother Melissa. It had always been like this. Every year their coach gave them review sheets, checked their answers, and they’re done. It wasn’t like in those public schools where quizzers went to their coaches’ homes since in the summer to answer leaked questions. But what bothered Melissa now was how their coach dared to choose a non-honor student to represent the school in the Inter-School Math Quiz.

“So I...” Kurt suddenly spoke silently. “Just see you guys.” He turned towards the door to leave.
“Wait,” Mel said firmly. She followed him out the door. The guy walked briskly so Melissa almost ran to keep up.
“Hey you!” she said this loud enough for the guy to hear. She became aware of the curious students who turned to look at them as they passed. “Hey!”
The guy continued walking.
“Come on weirdo, why don't you chat with me for awhile so that I can tell you that those jeans really look awful?" she breathed hard now. "Hey jerk, stop!"
The guy stopped and slowly turned to her. It frightened Mel that the guy looked furious.
And it freaked her more when he mouthed, "Asshole."
“I beg your pardon?” Melissa looked shocked. It was the first time all her life that someone called her an asshole.
"There's a touch of madness in every great mind."
  





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Points: 1178
Reviews: 23
Sat Jul 16, 2011 2:10 am
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Mjdwrite says...



All of this story from part 1 to part three have been very interesting! You have a big imagination and are a very skilled author. Keep up the good work.

“What? As if that would do any good? We need an experienced one-“ Melissa began.


I do not like "one" in here. Since Mel is being cut off, could she not leave it at "experienced"?
“Okay people, I bet you’ve already known each other,” sir Tony began. “Ladies, here’s your classmate, Kurt Canza. He’s your new team mate.” He said this smilingly as if they’d just won in a raffle draw.


I really like this part.

Good job! I cannot wait to see more!
"It is perfectly okay to write garbage – as long as you edit brilliantly" C.J. Cherryh
  








Do. Or do not. There is no try.
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