Young Writers Society

I'm not going to put the usual 'dear' and stuff in here, i'll just write how I feel, so here goes.
To Joel,
I love you to bits, to be honest... I can't get you off my mind, it's as if superglue. I know you may have given up and you probably don't want to speak to me, but like I've said before...I can't imagine my life without you. I either need you there are a freind, or something else. I can't not have you. I feel empty, as if...there's nothing there; something's missing. I stay up thinking of you. You were my everything. And this is starting to sound really stupid My head asks 'why did you do it then?' then my heart screams 'because you're a stupid bitch' .I wrote this because I couldn't sleep, because of all the pain. When I saw you hurt, it hurt me, probably as much as I hurt you :/. I always told my freinds; my family i'd never get with someone younger than me, but that all changed when I met you.
I can remember how I met you; that day I met you. It was just a normal school day, going around speaking to freinds; because of one of your freinds liking me, that's how we met. I saw you, spoke to you, but I'm still not sure what it was about you, but there was something I really liked...something I fell in love with? I'm scared it'll never be the same how it used to be when I first met you. But i guess I should just move on? Forget everything that happened. But... the only problem being is that...I can't.
Yes i like someone else, but I love you, I can't stop that, not yet. It's uncontrolable. Things I said to you, I actually ment. I'm upset you were hurt, that sounds stupid and i'm not sure why i am upset. Seeing you like that, on that friday, just looking back at it; it hurts - my lungs feel like they're being squeezed together; my air pipe being cut off. I was hurt that much when I didn't have you, then I got you back, but I let you just like that? As if you were nothing. Stupid mistake - I guess I should've known. When I realised I gave up, there was the question of why I held on for so long...the answer to that... because I loved you. There's that saying, don't give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about, but I think I should, because i'll never get you back for the sixth time? Seriously, it's stupid. I'm stupid enough to keep trying. Stupid enough to of ended it when I wanted you soo much. It's complicated/was complicated, but I should've tried to work it out? I'm sorry, for everything. I felt as if i should tell you how i feel, properly. Even though, i'm never sending you this, ever! (I'll be too scared in what your reply would be)

Love,
Hoppy <3 xoxo
(Hope)

I think this is a most sincere piece of text. I can tell you wrote this from your heart. I once wrote something very much like this too, and like you, I didn't want that person to read it.

what would help from a writer's point of view is, that you should analyse this again and make it more structured, you repeat a lot. Also the grammar in your text is very poor. e.g. freind/friend.

I get the feeling, but only because I felt I was in the exact same position once. I think that a lot of people will not get the point you want to make. The sincerety that just pours out of this can't really make up for the poor grammar and the repeated sentences.

Overall: for you personally it can be a very big step to even post this on this website. Kudo's for that. There is a lot of soul in this text. But if your goal is to make the readers get a good look at the feelings you have/had when you wrote it, it doesn't really achieve its goal.

Hello there.

I either need you there as a friend, or something else.

And this is starting to sound really stupid period.

Doesn't mean that if you have a 'smiley', you don't have to put a period.

I always told my friends; my family I'd never get with someone younger than me, but that all changed when I met you.

It was just a normal school day, going around speaking to friends; because of one of your friends liking me, that's how we met.

But I guess I should just move on?

I'm upset you were hurt, that sounds stupid and I'm not sure why I am upset.

There's that saying: don't give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about Period. But I think I should, because I'll never get you back for the sixth time?

Stupid enough to have ended it when I wanted you so much.

I felt as if I should tell you how I feel, properly. Even though, I'm never sending you this, ever!

This was personal, and I don't think it was great. The problem with personal stuff is that you don't say enough details, and the plot is not set clearly because in your head, you already know what the plot it because you've lived it. or example, we don't even know what happened in order for the two to split up. And how long their relationship was... please put details in it, like when you explain it to someone who doesn't know anything about your life and all, because otherwise, we are just lost in all of this.

I liked the way you've written it, because it was very personal. It gives a little bit of emotions, and that's great.

Keep writing!

-Other One