Young Writers Society

You never forget the day when you finally find that one special person that can light the dark corridors of your heart. Because from that day forward, you are cursed with the knowledge that the only thing you wake up for is to be in their presence and to taste the sweet warmth they radiate from their translucent skin. It’s as though they are completely different from those unexceptional others by the way they seduce you with that talk of theirs. Or smile at you with those eyes that penetrate straight into your soul. And every waking moment, you yearn for their magic touch that sends thousand-walt jolts into your spine, for their spicy smell, or their enchanting beauty and charm. You beg for only their glorious face, and then finally their skin. Imagining them warming your bed and fiercely joining flesh on flesh, whispering promises of eternal love into you ear, and then gasping for the air that you breathe. Them loving you the way you love them. No conditions. But it’s only just a dream.. a fantasy that makes you hold on to a rope that isn’t and will probably never be there. Although even knowing that, their image still haunts the deep corners of your mind.

They steal your sleep, your thoughts, and your breath absentmindedly, making you suffer with adoration and a wanting that’ll never come. And then you become this sensitive monster that can only dream of fairy tales of simple love and promises that will always be kept.

All you thrive for is to be close to that person, to make them know of your burning feelings for them without actually telling them. Never would you want to risk your present relation with them because even just seeing them smile is more than enough. But still, if only they knew of your thoughts and then laughed because for some time, they’ve been thinking of you the same way. Wouldn’t that be nice? But it’s not true, because no matter how much you wish for it, it will never happen. Because you don’t live in a movie. When everyone and everything undergoes a happily ever after; a mirage engraved with a piercing perfection that you will never possess. It’s just how reality works. But yet again, your heart still hungers for them. For their tender love and their creamy, soft lips that you will forever desire but can never have.

They torture you like that. Filling your heart up with hope, and then crushing it like it’s nothing. Pretending they have no clue of the way you look at them, and brushing it aside because who are you to be in love with them? But even if it kills you, those emotions roar inside you. Pushing and fighting to be free until you finally burst into tears over them. Crying yourself to sleep wondering if you’ll ever be that person they will always search out for when they need help. The person they need because you’re capable of lighting the earth and chasing out the cobwebs and sorrow. That person they will hold everyday because they need you. Their significant other. But then smacks you right between the eyes and you ask yourself, why can’t I have them? Why is it never me? Is it because I don’t deserve their love. Is that person so great that it’s worth suffering for? Are they worth the Sacrifice?…. Loving them no matter the flaw or kink and giving up a huge part of myself.. My Heart. And trusting that if I do give it to them, they will never pull the trigger that’ll shatter my life into a billion pieces and reduce me into an emotionally crippled nothing? Your foolishness takes over and answers “yes”, with a smile, “..they are.”

You then take another step, sure of yourself that you are, indeed, madly in love, and endanger yourself to risks with them. Embracing their body, talking with them, playing and joking and laughing. Swallowing the knowledge that they are existing in your sad and lonely life with one titanic gulp that tastes acrid because it is not enough for you. You need more, and your survival is depending on it. But what a coward you are, you will never do more until that single thread is true and they move first. Crazy your mind becomes, because the sight of them devours all of your intellects and you fall to your knees, cherishing the ground they set their feet upon. Love makes one unbalanced, but there is no turning back because once you fall, there’s no one to pick yourself up. You’re stranded on an island surrounded by the raging magmas of desire.

No one is there, except for you..and the apparition of that person. Doing nothing but closing your eyes and imagining scenarios that will occur when the heavens fall down to earth. Unaware of an iron grapnel clasped securely on your seething heart, distracting your senses and throwing your precious time out to sea. People notice your foolishness and ask you what on earth is the matter. And the only thing you can say is, “I’m in love.” with a blissful smile…….Little do you know what a fool you are.

I LOOOOOVE THIS! It describes...well me. The message is clear, and I'm pretty sure everyone can relate to this. I completely agree because I've thought that way and felt that way about people before. I didn't really see anything wrong with this, but I was moved by it. Thank you for sharing this, because I can think back to reading this and know someone is not worth my time if they don't love me back. In my opinion, it's beautiful and EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS!

I will say one word. BRAVO

Amen to that. This was an excellent piece; well-written, accurate, and full of feeling.

There were some errors as far as spelling and grammar in the second paragraph. To be honest, it was both the best and worst part of this story, because while you really got to the heart of the matter, it lost some coherence toward the end of the paragraph. There's a powerful message in there, but I had to read some parts a couple of times before they made complete sense.
Also, the big blocks of text tend to bog a reader down, and make it easier to lose your place in the sentences. I would recommend breaking up your paragraphs a bit.

Other than that, I loved it. Definitely related to it, and you put things into words better than I ever could. Well done, and keep up the good work!

I love this peice. The way you describe love is so realistic and relatable to people everywhere. You did by far the best at describing it.

I liked it mainly because it is something that most people can easily relate to. It's got a lot of emotion and feelings. Something that makes you sit back and think for a long time. Beautifully written. Keep up the good work.

I very much enjoyed this piece and the reality of it. How true it is that we bind ourselves to someone without them doing them same in return and if only things in life couldn't be in the way of things we love. We want and dream and hope that our fantasy become our reality and then we wonder if it should really be that way and if it is better if we just stop before we get hurt but of course we don't. And then we risk our very heart in hopes that all will be well.
~Loved the piece
~Keep Writing
~Berlyn Rae

oh my, this was amazing, i love the way you started with the love that lights the dark corridors of your heart.
i have never thought of it that way,

Hey there, just returning a favor for your review on my piece. Anyway...
First of all, I absolutely love this piece. It almost made me cry because it is sooooo true. You described the emotions one feels when being in this situation effortlessly and beautifully and, well, perfectly. You are a great writer and wordsmith. Your flow is lovely, your voice and tone match the content flawlessly, and I am totally in love with this piece!
Now, I just have a few grammar nitpicks:
It should be "thousand-watt" instead of "thousand-walt." Just simple spelling, nothing to worry about!

"When everyone and everything undergoes a happily ever after; a mirage engraved with a piercing perfection that you will never possess" This I personally think should have a dash instead of a semicolon because semicolons separate two complete sentences. Just another simple little mistake (I make this one all the time!)

That's about it. I really can't tell you how much I love and identify with this piece! Keep up the great work!

~Jess

THis can be described with the word; POWERFUL. Very powerful. Obviously feuled by a personal experience, these are emotions that lay in the mind of every mortal being, and it takes only an experience to awake those feelings. I went through something similar recently, and I must stress the importance (especially after a piece as powerful and emotional as this) of not letting that pain define and drive you. It will ulitmately drive one to their destruction, a doomed feeling one actually tends to recieve from this piece.


WELL DONE.