Although I'm in my happy mood, I decided to write something depressing. Anyways...
I gasped as I opened the bathroom door, the sight was utterly horrible. It absolutely tore my heart apart, seeing her naked body lying on the tiled floor. Blood covered everything I could lay my eyes on; the translucent plastic curtains hung helplessly, crinkled and shabby, watching their mistress bleed out. The toilet sat there, gob smacked with its mouth wide open and the mirror which had always greeted her every morning, lost its bedazzling reflection.
There she lay, her eyes peacefully shut beneath the long eyebrows she used to taunt me with. The majestic pink cheeks where her white complexion stretched, ruthlessly cut. My body longed for her lips as my eyes moved unto them, puffy and colorless. And there it was, the culprit that took my Megan away, between her perfectly carved breasts protruded a knife; shining at me, grinning with pleasure. In her white thin fingers she held a paper, I read:
"Dear Husband,
I cannot bear knowing it anymore, yes, I know! Why did you do it? You were always the center of my world darling; the teddy bear I hugged to go to sleep and the rocket I rode to the stars. I treated you with trust and passion, but alas, you turned out to be as much of a bastard as the rest of them.
What does she have that I don't? I wish I can go back to the time when I saw her bent over your desk, moaning joyfully. The time when I snuffed my screams and ate my tears silently, I should have killed you there and then. Maybe its better that I killed myself instead, maybe you'll appreciate me better dead."
My throat dried up and my brain froze, and my knees gave way to my heavy heart. I knelt at her side crying: "I don't know what you mean... I didn't do it."
Then the whole scene faded, like smoke from my everyday cigarette. I opened my eyes to find her lying beside me, her face angry and her eyes as red as the blood that was.
"Sorry, love. I had the worst kind of dream possible." I leaned forward and kissed her.
"What was that for?" She said blushing.
"I don't want to lose you, you're everything I have." I replied with sparkling eyes.
"Oh, Albert. I'm not going anywhere." She replied smiling.
I closed my eyes again, not to open them till next morning. The sun shone brightly through the middle of the curtains, its rays soothing. I turned my head to where my wife once lay, sighed and got up.
It's been a few years now, and I still would not get rid of the memories. As I carried my weight down the stairs bobbing left to right, I entered the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of yesterday's cold coffee and sat there, at the kitchen table, eating an old dry piece of toast. Its structure ripped the walls of my throat as it went down.
Having worn my black shirt, my black trousers and my black tie, I was completely camouflaged into this black life. Smiling at the thought I walked over to the graveyard- there she lay.
Megan Severs
1971-2008
"May time freeze after you"
I laid down facing the beautiful white stone. Smiling at it as I once did to Megan. It took me fifteen months to decide what to write underneath that beautiful name. It was until then that I realized that time is worthless without her.
"How are you today love?" I asked
I do not know why I always started the conversation with the same question, I never got a reply.
"You promised not to leave me..." I muttered
I was now crying again, as I often did when I was there. I took a white handkerchief from my left pocket and blew my nose. Getting up, I left the cemetery walking towards the sea. Its waves had once carried Megan, and only the sea would share my distress. While I was walking on the white sands, staring at the shining specs of bouncing light at sea, I noticed a grey ragged teddy bear, flung face down onto the sand and rocks. I picked it up, dusting it off with one had and holding it with the other.
"The teddy bear I hugged to go to sleep", the words shone at me from the plastic eyes, I could see them carved into the brown. There's a reason I dream of that note every night, and it's this. She killed herself, believing that I betrayed her trust. She took her life and my soul in one move. The doctors had said that she was schizophrenic, but I wouldn't believe them, I will not believe them.
"Come with me dear teddy, you carry memories of someone worth the world to me. Come."
An old man walked, hand in hand with a ragged teddy bear on that beach everyday for fifteen years.
Albert Severs
1969-2027
"His whole world froze"
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