Adele Iroha wiped the sweat off of her forehead. She had spent the last couple of hours chasing her children Roy and Lake around the house, shoving cotton t-shirts down their bed hair and spooning cereal into little Kaylie’s mouth. Her husband just sighed at the chaos, and purred his S class Mercedes Benz out of their private driveway, intending to eat at the local Denny’s.
She finally plopped down on the couch and struggled to catch her breath. Adele’s long, silky black hair was tousled and clung to her skin tightly. She surveyed her surroundings pensively. When they had first moved to this house, she remembered feeling awed at its enormous size, grand staircase, and luxurious tubs. Her favorite part had been the glossy, white deck complete with a tiny table, parasol, and the new edition of a steak griller.
Now all she could muster was a bitter resentment at the floors that needed a swipe with the vacuum. The shades attached to the windows gave the house a dark, ominous mood that accurately matched her emotional condition.
Lately she found herself wondering how she had gotten here. A mother of three, with no professional career and wracked with stress no one cared to understand. She was only in her early 30’s, but she already dreaded the future years she had left to live.
Her rumination was rudely interrupted by the chime of the doorbell. Groaning silently, she rose up to open the door. Checking her appearance in the tacked up mirror, she smoothed out her hair and pulled on her light shawl.
“Hi,” she said, simultaneously wrenching the heavy, oak entrance open.
Adele’s eyes widened incredulously before she smothered the man with a powerful hug.
“Dennis,” she squealed uncontrollably, and he laughed heartily in response.
“Can I come in?” His voice had deepened over the years, but he still held a slightly boyish look with his innocent, dreamy eyes.
“Get in here,” she commanded, and led him to the kitchen. Without asking, she dripped steamed coffee into a mug and served it to him. He nodded his head in thanks and took a tiny sip.
“Whatever in hell are you doing in Hawaii?” She asked, sitting down to face him. Her light brown, doe-shaped eyes scintillated with excitement as she propped her head up with her coarse palm.
“In town for business,” he explained. She noticed the hesitation in his manner, and her excitement drained slowly.
“It’s been, what, ten years?”
“14 years,” he corrected her. Their conversation grew solemn as they looked into the past through each other’s eyes.
“It’s weird. I was thinking about those times lately. That was the highlight of my life,” she smiled, a little embarrassed.
“They were good,” Dennis admitted, cupping the coffee mug gently. The room submerged into a reflective silence as each person dug through memories of the past.
Suddenly, Dennis remarked, “Oh yeah. I also came because of these.” From his pockets he withdrew a crisp envelope and handed it to Adele. She looked at him curiously, and then opened it.
“I found them while I was cleaning out our old house,” he explained and examined her reaction closely.
The envelope contained a packet of pictures, slightly tarnished with time and dust. Many of them portrayed a young lady with long, dark locks, tanned face, and a silly, entrancing grin. Adele chuckled appreciatively as she flipped through them.
“Now who’s this ugly girl?” She asked playfully.
“I don’t know, that’s why I was hoping you could help me,” Dennis bantered back, his face settled into relief.
Just as she was about to stack them back into the envelope, her eye caught onto one in particular. The sky was tinged crimson as it captured two lovers sitting precariously on a sturdy branch. The passion from the red skies only highlighted the intimacy between them. She remembered how the wild winds had flung her hair around her face – to the extent that she could not really see his. But she could inhale his sea stained scent and feel the tension charging his body. She also recalled how his rough hands had gripped hers painfully, aware of the sweat between them.
Dennis wrinkled his eyebrows as he watched Adele stare blankly at the picture. He regretted his decision of leaving it in the pile.
“Adele?’ His concerned voice awakened her from her reverie.
“I had forgotten this had even happened,” she whispered brokenheartedly. He didn’t refute her denial. “This was real too, huh. He was real,” she sobbed, the tears finally dripping down the contours of her cheeks and jaw.
“We all lost him,” he consoled her, his hands clutched helplessly.
“I told him, I told him not to go. I said it was stupid. The tide was going to be too strong,” her words distorted into moans as she covered her face with her coarse hands.
“Adele. Adele, look at me,” Dennis commanded, and then pulled her hands away. “I wasn’t going to come. But then I saw this, and I knew. It’s time you let go of him now. He’s gone,” he said, his tone harsh with frustration.
“How can you?” She cried loudly, her cheeks blotched an angry red. “He’s your brother, your one and only brother!”
“He was,” Dennis replied angrily. Then he abruptly got up from his chair and stared stonily out the screen door, focusing on the calm beach. After a few moments, he sighed despairingly and came back to place his arms awkwardly around Adele’s trembling back.
“Sometimes, I wonder,” she said, almost in a trance, “how my life would have been if he didn’t go that day. Would I be living in this huge house? Would I be any happier than I am now? Would anything have changed?” Dennis listened to her quietly, and after a deep breath, she continued. “Or would time change us? Would we grow sick of each other, would we have even gotten married? And then, I look at the me now, and I can’t help perfecting the past. In my dreams, he’s taller and more handsome. The air is that flawless, warm, sticky kind that I love. And I can see the redness of the sky from even my closed eyelids. I can smell his scent and the salt from the sea, so much that at times my nose burns. It’s like, it’s like in his death I glorified him into the perfect person. The perfect, passionate love. The kind that promised to never die down,” Adele mumbled. Her voice was cracked dry, exhausted from the pent up emotion in her miserable soul.
“You’ve got to let him go. Like I did,” he said, and she could distinguish the similarity in their voices. If he had survived that night, if he had walked back to shore with his board tucked under his arms, would he resemble Dennis today?
“I know. I will,” she promised hollowly. Upon hearing those words, he released her from his embrace.
“I’m going to leave. And I won’t ever come back. I’m not going to worry about you, and I won’t think about you again.” Dennis straightened his shoulders, and his eyes narrowed in determination. She nodded wordlessly at his resolution, watching his every step as he walked away and out the door.
“Wait,” she shouted, and ran out to the yellow jeep parked in the driveway. He kept his car door open, and turned around to face her.
“Take these with you.” She handed him the envelope, her hands quite steady.
He looked down, and then smiled sadly. It seemed as though eternity had passed, but soon enough the envelope was tucked safely in his hands.
“Did those pictures come from your camera?” She asked suddenly.
“Yes,” he admitted truthfully.
“And did you take that picture?”
“I did.”
“Why were you there that night?”
“Because I promised a stupid girl I would teach her how to take pictures,” he replied. His gaze was fraught with a slow tenderness that Adele could not ignore.
“How stupid of you to wait for that stupid girl.”
“Agreed,” he said, and they both choked out a small chuckle.
“Well, good bye Dennis Harper,” she finally said.
“Good bye Adele Iroha,” he responded. After 14 years, he had finally found the courage to laugh thoughtfully at those foolish feelings of his. He did not spare her one last look, for fear that his resolve should weaken, and climbed into the jeep.
She waited until the yellow car blended in with the already blazing morning sun before returning once more to both her house, and the present.
THE END
) Yet, when dreamy eyes walks through the door, they suddenly vanish. We don't see that much of the husband either but I found it comical that he would drive his S Class Mercedes to eat at the local Denny's. Generally it felt like you just pulled in these characters to artificially encourage pity for Adele's situation. I didn't like it, honest. I know this is a short story and all but it really did feel like the two main characters were acting out a scene in front of a cardboard backdrop: Hawaii.
But this was excellent anyway, though maybe, if editing, you could develop the sadness that the main character will surely feel when going back to her life of loveless drudgery. Also, as a challenge to the main plot, you could involve some of her maternal love for her children, which must exist, even if her husband is not the man of her dreams. Other than that, I actually totally got into this story like any in a compilation by a published writer, it was really great
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