Sister God Please you the lord is doing something in your soul because the will preach. I love the part when you said The snapping out of the phase of numbness when you’re standing in the pulpit crying hard, and the looks of sympathy on the faces of people. The ones that should understand your heart, but they just don’t, no one ever will. No I love the part when you said the smell of bacon in the morning, simple things like that, or big things, like the ring on your own finger.
So, this is quite short and I see these little bursts of really good writing! So, keep working and I'm sure you'll become a wonderful writer. My main quip is that, although she is quite eloquent about the sadness and the darkness, a reader an empathize with your MC only when the emotion is strong from within the MC's heart. Work on that. Because when this emotion hits the reader, a reader will be hooked onto the story. Make us feel the pain, the darkness etc. Gorgeous words may not always do the trick. Rely on words that would send across raw emotion.
Keep writing! ~Lava
~ Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know. - Ian McEwan in Atonement
Neey, this is sad! I want to read more though so I guess it's good I loved that thing with "big things" and "little things" it was a sweet add to the piece I have one nitpick though; You said something about the others should understand your heart... I don't really see why they should though - you need some explaining here. WHY should they understand her? Have they been through something like her? Or is it because they were close to the dead one too? Or did you actually mean that they "Claim" to understand but really don't? Sort this out and this is a great start of something
Hope I could help!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
"Some say the world will end in fire; Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice." - Robert Frost
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