Young Writers Society

The soft, silky feeling of clean sheets against my smooth skin instantly relaxed me as I slipped into bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin, snuggling down deep into them, closing my eyes and inhaling the delicious scent of cloth that had been hung out to dry in the crisp autumn breeze.

Sleep was a welcome comfort. The past few weeks had been difficult to cope with, and the only place I could seem to find a truly peaceful refuge was in the serene blackness of slumber, shutting my eyes and turning away from the cold reality that the world always seemed to be shoving at me.

Now, snug beneath the covers and beginning to fade away into the blissful peace of nothingness, I began to think about him.

I thought about the little things that I knew he wouldn't even realize I had noticed. The way his hands had felt as they'd slipped lovingly into mine, how the corners of his mouth curled when he smiled that crooked grin of his, the way his lovely eyes had glimmered in the moonlight as we'd sat together beneath the glistening stars...I remembered it all.

In some ways, I wished fervently that he might be awake too, looking up at the ceiling and asking himself if I was thinking about him. Somehow, I was oddly sure that that wasn't at all the way it was. He'd probably forgotten about me entirely, willing to leave me in his past like some unimportant trinket that he'd lost interest in.

Tears began welling out of my eyes, trickling slowly down my cheeks and dripping onto my pillow. They made tiny thudding sounds as they splashed onto its surface. My mind wasn't peaceful any longer; it had become filled with depressed thoughts of loneliness. Although memories of him saddened me, I continued. Thinking about him hurt incredibly, but the prospect of forgetting him was even more painful.

He'd given me my first kiss. Nobody had known but me. When we'd first met, I had instantly sensed something between us, a peculiar spark that had sent shivers tingling down my spine. He'd sensed it too. Not even a week after I'd met him, I'd found myself sitting close to him, watching as the sun had dropped beneath the horizon.

Although I wished that that evening had lasted forever, it hadn't. Time had ticked away steadily, the minutes disappearing far too swiftly for my liking. Before I knew it, it was time for me to leave. That's when it had happened.

I had stood, relucantly pulling myself up and attempting to stretch the stiffness away. I'd been sitting for quite a while.

"Where are you going?" he'd asked, worry permeating his voice.

"It's time for me to leave now," I answered, gazing back at him.

"No. Not now. Please, don't leave," he'd pleaded, rising to his feet as well.

I felt my heart beating wildly in my chest. "I've got to go," I sighed. "I've got to go."

"Not yet. One more minute," he said, and he reached towards me. Almost without realizing it, I took his hand and drifted towards him. He wrapped his arms gently about me, pulling me close to him. And then, he kissed me.

I'd dreamt about my first kiss for years. What would I do? Would he think I was silly because I'd never kissed anyone before? Would he be able to tell? All of those worries vanished like a puff of smoke, and I found my eyes closing slowly as I melted into him, feeling the strange, awkward loveliness of his soft lips pressing against mine. Time had stood still then, for a moment, and I'd embraced him, feeling thoroughly and completely in love with him as he caressed me.

Now, weeks later, I cried as I remembered when we'd ended the kiss, when we'd stood, entwined in eachother's arms, wishing that the world would just drift away and leave us alone together. He'd begged me again and again not to leave, but the car that would take me far away from him had idled at the end of the driveway and I'd had to go. I'd had to pull myself out of his arms.

I'd never seen him again after that night.

My pillow had grown damp because of my tears. I flipped it over and laid my damp cheek against its dry coolness. Staring sadly out into the darkness, I wished again and again that I'd stayed with him for just one more brief moment, that I'd have kissed his lips one last time, that I'd have laid my head against his chest and listened to the strong pulsing of his heartbeat, that I would've cast every single worry I had to the wind and allowed myself to love him in a brutally honest way.

I should've stayed.

Hi there!
First off, I love the emotions portrayed in this piece- it's very real and relatable.
It also looks to be in place spelling and grammar wise, so good on you for that!
I love this for many reasons- I can tell it came straight from the heart. You also have some great imagery in this, for example:

My pillow had grown damp because of my tears. I flipped it over and laid my damp cheek against its dry coolness.

-This part, in my opinion, was written brilliantly.
The only thing I might suggest to make this even better is to elaborate on why the MC and her lover aren't together anymore. I kind of got the gist of it, but it was still a little foggy. Did they have a fight, or was it simply that she left and he lost interest? Make sure to clarify.
Anyway, overall it was enjoyable and I congratulate you for this story.
Hope I helped, and happy writing
-Briggsy

I literally just cried. I hate that feeling that its too late, and whenever you feel it, your heart just sinks to your toes and you want to disappear forever. This was completely perfect, like you cannot physically change anything to make it better. Keep writing, please! Like seriously, write a book.

Hey there!

I think this was great. The way you desribed things was lovely, and the way you portrayed her feelings was very believable. It wasn't too 'woe is me,' but at the same time, it didn't end up feeling like she'd detatched herself too much from the situation. What I mean is, it was believable. It sounded like it happened in the real world between two humans, not in a farytale land between a peasant girl and a prince.

I agree with one of the reviewers in that I'd have liked to have known more about why she left and why she hasn't seen him since. It appears that she didn't know him for long, but if she felt like there was a connection and so did he, why did they lose touch? Did she move away? The bit about her having to leave was a bit confusing. Did she have to leave because she had to literally leave, or did she leave because she was scared of what had just happened. Was she scared of falling in love too quickly? Scared of the new emotions she was feeling? A bit more information would help to clear this up.

entwined in eachother's arms

'eachother' is two words.

I hope this helps! Thanks for the read

xDudettex

wow... this is amazing. yours are so much better than mine

That was so nice. It was tragic, no doubt, but even then it seemed as if there is still some kind of hope, a wish, a desire. A kind optimism was hidden beneath all the tragedy. I loved the way you have described the kiss. Something that created a clear picture in my mind. Really beautiful write-up. Keep writing and move on.