Galen
I checked my watch again and saw it was already 7:20. I frowned, wondering if he was going to show up anytime soon. I was about to call him again when I heard a faint shout from somewhere behind me. "Galen!" the voice said, unmistakably Jared's. I turned my head to the direction of him with a smile planted on my face, only to find...him.
I'm sure Jared was somewhere beside him, but I was unable to look elsewhere; I was in a frozen state. Everything seemed to melt away, it was just me, my shallow breathes, frantic heart, and him. All I could manage was the sudden drop of my smile.
There he was, gazing back at me with such shocked, open and fragile eyes that made me feel like I could see right through him. In that instant, all the memories I've spent years locking away came rushing back to my mind, filling me up with so much angst and bittersweetness, I felt like a glass of champagne, just bubbling and spilling with smothering emotions.
His halo of a head is still so painfully familiar with locks of hair that curl around his ears like they always have. His full lips parted slightly and he started to square his shoulders like he was trying to shield himself from something...from me. But it%u2019s those eyes that had me caged, the eyes that appeared in every childhood memory. It%u2019s the eyes I see in every dream and always the first thing I think of every morning, in those first 2 seconds before you are truly awake. My heart was pounding in yearning for him, a pathetic desire for just one little touch.
I could feel him taking me in too. From the surely wide eyes, long hair like a spilling cascade, to my flat stomach and frozen self. Then when his eyes trailed up my body to meet my eyes again, I sucked in a deep breath. I could see him struggling to pull up his guard in that very second, just before he turned and bolted for the door.
Athren
My hands are shaking and it feels like there's someone pounding on my head every time my heart beats. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to get control over myself yet I'm still trembling like a madman. Well, after my great performance, the wonderful first impression I've only dreamed about and never really thought would happen, I guess I really am turning mad. I keep fighting for air, but in every breath I took, it seemed like I was getting less. To someone else, I guess I would've sounded like a dying man.
I had no idea who I was going to see or else I would've cleaned up better or wrote a speech. If I could replay that moment, the first thing I would've done was given her a smile, the one that she once whispered in my ear about how she loved it and how it brightened her day. Then, I would've calmly walked to her and say hi. She'll loosen up and we'll start talking catching up. That's when Jared would sink away to the shadows and give us some time. I would've gotten her phone number and after our 7th date, we'd be standing outside her house or dorm and I'll lean in for a kiss that should've been planted years ago. All over again, we'd fall madly in love, but this time, I won't let her go.
But that didn't happen. I ran away from the second chance I thought never existed because, truth be told, when I looked at her again, I didn't know if I loved her or hated her more. I love every single thing about her. From her bubbly laugh to that tiny scar near her knee. I love how I can forget everything when I'm around her and how we'd be in our very own bubble; a utopia.
I also hated her. It was the moment I caught her eyes, the eyes belonging to the very person who tore my world in half, ripped my heart to shreds and left me all broken up, that I hated her. I spent 11 fucking years building my life around her from sleepovers, vacations to stolen kisses and ___/ I remember the countless times I got up in the middle of the night and ran to her doorsteps because she simply wanted comfort. Everything I've done until graduation was for her, because of her. She told me daily she loved me more than anything, up until the day I was told she was on a plane to another country and wasn't planning on coming back.
I love her so, so much it hurts like hell, but now, I'm not all that sure its still worth it.
A/N:I know its a bit vague on details, but like i said, theres more to this but I'm not sure if i should continue, so pls giv some feedback. Thanks a ton!!
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