Young Writers Society

This word "love" - people throw it around too easily. We use it ten times on any given day for the silliest things and we forget what it's really about. I think that's why we're so quick to say those words to the people we're with; we aren't scared because it's portrayed as simple and essential throughout the world. When you think about it, it makes sense that we embrace this idea of loving each other. It's been twisted and warped to fit so many situations and marketing strategies that most of us don't even know what it means. It's in the movies, on our clothes, the subject of books, and on the tip of our tongues at the mere mention of a song or new pair of shoes.

But truly understanding love - in the romantic sense of the word - only comes after a long period of telling yourself you feel it. You can spend months with butterflies and an overwhelming sense of euphoria pumping through your veins, but you never really understand it until it starts hurting; when you start speaking less, forget to hold each others' hand, lose the butterflies. That, and the realisation that you'll never get that feeling back almost hurts too much to stay. Love is feeling that way, and then catching a moment with them that makes it more than worth the pain.

I think you only discover just how much it means when it's taken away; love is a great deal more noticeable when you don't have it. It doesn't matter if it was by choice or by nature, nothing in the world can match that depth of misery; when you lose someone you treasured, and the world is riddled with empty, painful reminders at every turn.

Hmmm.....

This is intriguing. Actually, if I can be perfectly honest, I don't know what to make of it. It has a good idea to it, and you have strong narration, but it doesn't have much substance yet. YET. That is of course if you add something a bit more interesting.

I read your spoiler BTW, and I am too a non-linear writer. Make sure that if your story if non-linear, try and make the order make sense. Obviously my novels make no sense in terms of structure but make your novel have bite into it. I get the impression that this young girl is anxious...about love? Why love? Is it someone that is driving her to feel like this? She seems awfully cynical in the first few sentences. Maybe cut down on the cynicism.

Overall, an interesting template. But you have quite a way off before it turns into a 5* novel.

It makes sense in the context, this comes from the middle-ish of the story (believe me, she has reason to be so bitter) but I totally understand where you're coming from. Thanks so much for the input and I will look at the cynicism

Hello. It would be interesting to read chapter 1, this segment reads like a prologue and for the sake of this review I will treat it as such. It is really hard to review it separately from chapter 1 because I am not sure as to the nature and feel of the would be novel. For me, it would be more effective if this prelude was written in third person, that it no allusion to I or my opinion and such. I think it will also be much more effective if you made language a little more vivid, a little more effective. For example "silliest things" does not sound compelling and using the word "trivial" instead of "silliest" makes the phrase sound much more fluid and effective. I think the main criticism to this work is that, to me, it does not sound compelling. The structure and idea is each paragraph is good but there is really nothing that captures my attention. When discussing something like love or another emotion, usually, it is not the ideas or structure that necessary interests the reader, because chances are they are familiar enough with the concept, but it is the language and the play of words that intrigues them. In that aspect I think you need a little more work. Make sure that once I read it, or someone else reads it, they will be compelled to read more. Unfortunately there is no objective guidelines or critique that will tell you how to achieve this, just take your time and do your best. Unlike with writing lyrics and short poems I do not believe that novels can be written in a free time that pops up whenever. You need to put some time aside for writing, say 8 - 9 pm every day. Than will help increase consistency of your work as well as quality.
Keep working on it. I would gladly read chapter 1 once it becomes available.
Good luck!