Young Writers Society

Sorry it's been a while, but if you are a fan, here you are. If not, read the other scenes first, including the prologue. Many thanks
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After the dissolve of forties music, the stage lights up. The Old man is sitting on the end of a long table, with all the People also sat around it. The stage is dressed as a terraced street. Little Union Jacks adorn the street and table. The scene is frozen for a second, but slowly comes to life. Everyone is enjoying themselves. A one-armed soldier and members of the Home Guard can also be seen. This goes on for a minuite.

Old Man: Helped up out of his chair by two people.Stern, but happy Settle down, everyone, settle down! Everyone goes quiet We all know of the sacrifices we had to make in these few years and some of us, more than most, know the reality of what we went through. gestures to the One Armed Soldier but now, in the words of our Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, we have peace! Peace in our time!
Crowd cheers
One Armed Soldier: Getting out of his seat, glass in hand I say, to peace!
People around the table: To Peace!
The party then goes into full swing. The Children are playing, people are drinking, eating and dancing

Home Guard members: start to sing, drunkenly
We fought and died,
To see this day,
When Hitler gets smacked on the hide,
We made our enemies pay,
And now it's peace!
Chorus
Peace, peace, peace in our time,
We never thought we'd see it,
Peace, peace, peace in our time,
We knew it could be done!
Verse two
Young Arnold went to France,
And boy did he prance,
But he stopped all that,
When Jerry shot his hat!
Chorus two
Peace, peace peace in our time,
We never thought we'd see it,
Peace, peace, peace in our time,
We knew it would be done!
End of the song, everyone claps

The scene freezes. The stage goes black. The Old Man has a spotlight that follows him centerstage.
Old Man: That was V.E day, when we found out that the war was over. But, about two years earlier, it was a completely different story. Time to go to 1943.
The spotlight disappears and a air raid siren can be heard, instead of music. The stage lights up. The Old Man has disappeared and the stage has been made over as a part of a forest.
End of scene 4

Hey Skutter

I really like what you're doing here with the script, and there's nothing really to comment on about the writing, but the presentation itself has a few things to improve. As an actor, I'm afraid that I'll be bias in reviewing this.

First of all, most scripts are written to be read by someone else, in which case you have to remember that presentation is very important. Unlike in a novel you can't let the character or narrative voice get your point across.

Always use correct punctuation and grammar. It will make your writing clearer, and the lack of punctuation and correct grammar will be really annoying to anybody who reads. For example; "/Crowd cheers/" should be "/The crowd cheers."

Plain italics aren't a good thing to use in a script. For stage directions an indent in the side and brackets are standardly used. This will make it much easier to distinguish between different actions.

Also, stage directions should be separate from speach, unless describing how it should be said. So;

"Old Man: /i/Helped up out of his chair by two people.Stern, but happy/i/ Settle down..."

Should be;

__(Old man is helped out of his chair by two people.)
Old Man: (Sternly) Settle down.

And lastly, "Stern, but happily." Choose one or the other. Keep these things simple. If he is a stern man who speaks happy, or a happy man who speaks sternly, then mention the nature of his character beforehand.

Remember, in scripts, clarity is more important than instruction.

Hope this helps.
-Ten