Young Writers Society

Characters
Ruth-A high school student, about 16. Unattractive, “The Ultimate Love Atheist”
Ross-Popular guy everyone goes after
Naomi-Ruth’s Friend, Head over heels for Ross
Miles-The nerdy guy that everybody’s kind of friends with
Mr. Franklin-The English teacher

Students, anywhere from 2-5.

Setting: A small town, the present

(Curtains open, lights up. Maybe a little music. All characters on stage, in desks. In the front are Ross, Naomi, Miles and Ruth, Mr. Franklin standing at back with a book and papers in his hand.)

Mr. Franklin: (Closes the book in his hand, a copy of Romeo and Juliet.) Which leads me to my next point. Romeo poisons himself when he sees what he believes to be his true love dead on the ground. When Juliet awakes from her sleep, she sees him dead and kills herself. No, she doesn’t just kill herself; she stabs herself. Stabbing is said to be the ultimate crime of passion. It takes force to stab a knife through the cages we have inside ourselves. To do it to herself tells us what about Juliet? (Miles puts up his hand) Yes, Miles?
Miles: She felt enough hate and anger towards her own mistake to do it.
Ross: (Coughs)Nerd.
Mr. Franklin: Exactly, Miles. And what causes these primitive yet powerful emotions inside the heroine? (Ross puts his hand up) Ross.
Ross: She loved him enough to kill herself. If she couldn’t be with him, she wouldn’t be with anyone.
Naomi: I know what that is like. (Looks longingly at Ross)
Ruth: No, you don’t. You just think because you can’t be with that lo-
Mr. Franklin: Ladies, enough. Now, Love. What is Love? (He walks the aisles, and then stops at Ruth’s desk) Ruth. How do you define Love?
Ruth: You don’t want to ask me that question.
Mr. Franklin: Part of understanding great literature is opinions. Let’s hear it, Ruth. (She hesitates, only leans back in her desk.) If you want to pass this part of the course, you’ll tell us. Nothing wrong with stirring a little controversy, right?
Ruth: Fine. (She stands) Love is…fake. It’s all a fantastical concept invented by ancient scholars busy mapping the human brain to justify acting like a retard. (Everyone laughs) No, I’m serious. You get people standing on buildings screaming, “I love you!” or making up the crappiest lines ever to get people to think, maybe this is real. “You had me at hello…” I mean, come on! It’s all a figment of your imagination. I believe in like, (Glares at Naomi, who just kind of smiles then goes back to looking at Ross), I definitely believe in lust (Gets kind of quiet for a second,) but love’s all a crock. (Sits) But Hollywood’s made one hell of a profit off of their fantasies, particularly romantic comedies.
Mr. Franklin: Well, that was controversial. But Ruth makes a point. How can we know something exists if we can’t see it? You’re gonna tell me. (Hands the papers out, one to each student.) What is love? The essay is due next Monday. (Bell rings) See you all next class. (Everyone gets off and takes their desks with them; Ruth stays on.) Something up, Ruth?
Ruth: Yeah. How can you give us such a crap ass assignment?
Mr. Franklin: Watch your language.
Ruth: Is that all you’re going to say? I don’t see why I should have to write this essay. It’s like saying, you’re in grade 10, tell me how fairies exist! (She shoves the paper into Mr. Franklin’s hand) I’m not doing this assignment. (Walks off with her desk.)
Mr. Franklin: Teenagers. (Walks off as Naomi and Ross walk on)
Naomi: You were so smart in English today. I wish I could be that smart, but I’m not. I’m so dumb.
Ross: Yeah, whatever.
Naomi: Ok, I noticed. (Pauses, then gets really shy) Do you want to grab a coffee?
Ross: I don’t drink coffee.
Naomi: Oh. (He walks ahead, she runs to catch up) Want to go for Pizza?
Ross: I hate pizza.
Naomi: Oh. I heard Casablanca’s playing at the Dollaplex. Do you want to go?
Ross: Naomi. I’m not going to some black and white movie with you. (She opens her mouth to say something) Or anywhere with you. I have to go to practice.
Naomi: Oh, well, uh, see you tomorrow.
Ross: Whatever. (He walks off, Naomi sits on the ground and starts to cry as Ruth and Miles walk on with a bench and small tree, set center stage. Ruth sits on the bench, Miles under the tree)
Ruth: You’re actually doing the essay?
Miles: Why not? Easy marks. Just do some paragraphs on everything you’ve seen in date movies. (Ruth gives him a look) Have you ever watched a chick flick?
Ruth: You have?
Miles: I have three sisters. I’ve seen all movies. (Pause) I thought all girls watched sappy chick flicks.
Ruth: I’m not like all girls. (Naomi lets out a loud wail) Thank god for that.
Miles: What’s up, Naomi?
Naomi: Ross rejected me!
Ruth: Again.
Miles: She likes Ross?
Ruth: Isn’t it nauseatingly obvious?
Naomi: (Sniffling) I asked him for coffee, and he said, “I don’t drink coffee.”
Miles: Yeah he does, he’s a coffee addict!
Ruth: Don’t tell her that, she’ll get worse.
Naomi: And then I asked him for pizza and he said, “I hate pizza”. (Miles goes to say something)
Ruth: Don’t, just don’t. Anyway, you were saying?
Naomi: Then I asked him to Casablanca and he said he had to go to practice and he’d never go anywhere with me! (Joins Ruth on the bench, and Ruth pats her shoulder sarcastically.)
Ruth: Aw, poor baby. (To Miles) See? This is exactly what I’m talking about!
Miles: I think you’re wrong.
Ruth: Sure, if you’re a five foot nine, one hundred and twelve pound Miss Universe runner up. Girls like me don’t fall in—God forbid I’m actually saying this—love.
Miles: You ever seen Dirty Dancing? (Ruth glares at him, Naomi sobs)
Naomi: That was the first movie I watched after meeting Ross!
Miles: Does she always do this?
Ruth: For about an hour. Then she shreds his pictures—
Miles: She has pictures?
Ruth: Yeah.
Miles: Ok then. Anyways…in Dirty Dancing, the girl’s really ugly but as she falls in love with Patrick Swayze she gets prettier. (Pauses) Don’t roll your eyes like that. It’s so unattractive.
Ruth: Don’t even go there.
Naomi: I need chocolate! (Ruth takes a chocolate bar from her backpack and gives it to her) Thank you.
Miles: You carry chocolate with you?
Ruth: She does this a lot.
Naomi: I need-- (Ruth hands her an iPod) Thank you.
Miles: Well. (Gets up) I’m gonna work on my essay. See ya ‘round, Love Atheist. (Walks off)
Naomi: (Singing) I don’t wanna miss a thing! And even when I dream of you—
Ruth: Shut up!(They walk off, Miles and Ross walk on with video game controllers and sit on the floor and commence playing)
Miles: Don’t you have practice tonight?
Ross: Nah. I just told that Naomi chick that to get her to leave me alone. She’s such a dyke.
Miles: She’s not a dyke.
Ross: Why else would she hang out with that Ruth chick? She’s so gross, like that thing in English?
Miles: I think she had a point.
Ross: Yeah, her point was, “I’m a frigid virgin who’s never had a boyfriend.” (Miles reaches forward and unplugs Ross’s controller) Dude, what the hell? I was winning!
Miles: Don’t talk about her like that, ok? She’s one of my friends.
Ross: Friend, I doubt it. (They exit, change it to the classroom scene Ruth has bright red sparkly lip gloss on.)
Naomi: Ok, Ruth, I’m totally over him.
Ruth: Yeah, I’m sure. (Miles walks over; Ross sits in his desk) Hey, Miles.
Miles: Hey. (Pause) Are you wearing lip-gloss?
Ruth: Oh, uh, yeah, I—
Miles: Looks good. Did you do that essay yet?
Naomi: I did, here. (Gives it to Miles, but Ruth snatches it away)
Ruth: (Reading) “Love is that butterfly feeling, when your whole body gets weak?” My God, Naomi! What is this, A Walk to Remember?
Miles: Have you even seen that movie?
Ruth: No.
Miles: Didn’t think so. (Pulls out paper) Got mine done. (Ruth snatches it, reads it, and then shoves it back with a weird look on her face.) What?
Ruth: (Quiet for a second) It sucks. Of course it does, this whole assignment blows! Hey! Mr. Franklin! (He looks over) I hate your stupid assignment!
Mr. Franklin: Ruth, I am so sick and tired of your disrespectful attitude!
Ruth: I don’t even care. You wanted us to be open and honest? I’m being honest! Your idea of English literature is stupid! This whole class is stupid! I can’t stand this school because we are forced to study plays that may have had some impact on the world in the 1920s, but now they are just lame! You might say Romeo and Juliet is a horrible tragedy; the only thing tragic about it is the patheticness of the protagonists!
Mr. Franklin: Ruth, what are you talking about?
Ruth: All anybody does in this play is sit around and wonder, oh, I wonder who I’m going to marry! I hope someone falls in love with me! And then they kill each other over it!
Mr. Franklin: Fine, Ruth. Find a different play for us to study. And you have detention with me after school. Have fun cleaning my classroom.
Ruth: That wasn’t my point!
Mr. Franklin: No, that was my point. And, (He gives her the essay assignment.) This is now due tomorrow, just for you.
Ruth: Tomorrow! You said Monday!
Mr. Franklin: Yes, but you annoyed me. Now, take your seats and open your books to page 56 and Miles, start reading. (The students do as he says, and the class becomes super fast. Miles reads, Ruth rolls her eyes; Naomi flirts with Ross who ignores her, Mr. Franklin writes on the board, until the bell rings.) All right, finish those questions for tomorrow, essays due next Monday. Ruth, can I talk to you? (Everyone leaves, except Ruth who hangs back)
Ruth: Won’t you have enough time to talk to me in my detention, Mr. Franklin?
Mr. Franklin: Respect, Ruth.
Ruth: Fine. How may I help you, sir?
Mr. Franklin: Try it without the sarcasm. But, you’re a good kid, Ruth. You’ve always got good grades, you’re smart and you have some of the strongest opinions of anyone I’ve ever met.
Ruth: Duh.
Mr. Franklin: There’s that respect thing again. But is there anything wrong? You’ve gotten really angry since summer vacation. Before you were a lot happier.
Ruth: Look, Franklin. People change. I’m a person. I’m not a happy kid anymore, I’m growing up into an ornery cow and I don’t give a damn who I step on to get where I’m going. So just let me work everything out for myself, ok? (Starts to exit, then stops) About that essay…
Mr. Franklin: Yes, Ruth?
Ruth: It can be negative ruling that love is nothing, right?
Mr. Franklin: Sure, kid. (She exits, change the scene to the park again. Ruth isn’t wearing her hoodie)
Naomi: Aren’t you supposed to be in detention?
Ruth: Skipped out.
Naomi: Man, you are so dead.
Ruth: Don’t even care.
Miles: You’re not wearing your hoodie.
Ruth: Oh, yeah, I took it off.
Miles: My god, she has forearms!
Naomi: Do you guys wanna catch a movie? I want to get my mind off Ross.
Ruth: I have to write this stupid essay.
Miles: Well, it’s a chick flick. It could help you.
Ruth: Making me puke won’t help, trust me.
Naomi: Oh! Ross is playing ball tonight. I want to watch his game. I guess I have to leave you two alone now. (Runs off)
Ruth: Subtle as a Mac truck, Naomi. (Sits on the bench and throws the paper on the ground.) This thing is so stupid!
Miles: It’s all in the way you look at it. This essay is defining, in a way.
Ruth: What are you talking about?
Miles: Well, let’s think for a second. Who is Ruth Ramsey?
Ruth: Me. The fat loudmouth.
Miles: You’re not fat.
Ruth: Yes, I am. I’m a size 14. A large belt doesn’t even fit around this!
Miles: You know, underneath the fabric you’re actually really pretty.
Ruth: Miles, are you hitting on me?
Miles: Nah. I prefer non-Love Atheists. Ok. Besides the slightly low—
Ruth: Non-existent.
Miles: Self esteem, who are you? (She doesn’t say anything) I’ll tell you what I see.
Ruth: This should be good.
Miles: I see a girl hiding from society because she’s afraid that everyone sees her in an unfit light. She refuses to let anyone in, because—because she’s afraid of what they’ll find.
Ruth: Wow.
Miles: Wow what?
Ruth: Wow, you are really lame. You read that on the back of one of your romance novels?
Miles: Ha ha. (Sits on the ground) I think you have seen a chick flick; you just refuse to admit it.
Ruth: (Quiet) Ok. I watched Where the Heart Is.
Miles: See? We’re getting somewhere.
Ruth: I watched it once. Everything was happening, she had her baby, and they grew up. But when her and Forni fell in love, I—
Miles: What?
Ruth: Nothing. It doesn’t even matter. I need to write my essay.
Miles: Want to read mine again?
Ruth: No! I mean, no. I’m good. (Miles stands, places his hand on her shoulder) What are you doing?
Miles: I have to go. (Walks, then turns to her.) You know, Miss Ramsey. I might just fall in like with you.
Ruth: Oh, go away. (He exits, she goes back to writing) What is love? Love …Miles! Wait, I want to talk to you! (Runs off)
Ross: (Runs on, followed by Naomi) No!
Naomi: You don’t even know what I was going to ask you!
Ross: I don’t care. You are disgusting. Get away form me before I get a restraining order!
Naomi: But Ross—
Ross: You heard me! I don’t like you. Actually, I hate you. No, I wish you would fall off the face of the earth and at your funeral I’d laugh. I would laugh so hard the force of my laughter would pull your body back onto the planet and I would bury you alive.
Naomi: (Long pause, she’s fighting back tears) You know what? Ruth’s right. You are an asshole. A huge asshole! And you know what else, Ross? (She knees him in the crotch) That’s what else. (She leaves)
Ruth: (Park scenery taken off and replaced with two bean bag chairs and a regular chair, the bean bags DSL and DSR, chair USC. Ruth sits DSL with phone, Naomi DSR with Phone, Miles USC with phone) Ah! I can’t think of anything!
Naomi: Well, do you have any music to listen to?
Ruth: (Hits play on a stereo, hard angry rock) Nope. Just punk stuff.
Naomi: Oh, ouch. And I have your iPod.
Ruth: Yeah. Hey, how’d it go with Ross?
Naomi: It’s so over.
Ruth: It never started.
Naomi: I mean, it’s over. I’m over him. He confessed his hatred, so I canned him.
Ruth: Nice. Oh, I’ve got another call. (Presses a button on the phone) Yup?
Miles: Ruth?
Ruth: Yeah…how did you get my number?
Miles: Looked it up.
Ruth: Wow. Committed. What’d ya want?
Miles: A date.
Ruth: What? Hold on, another line. (Presses a button) Miles just asked me out.
Naomi: What? Miles? Our Miles?
Ruth: Uh huh.
Naomi: With the glasses?
Ruth: Yeah!
Naomi: He asked to be your boyfriend?
Ruth: Well, no, he asked me on a date.
Naomi: What’d ya say?
Ruth: Nothing yet!
Naomi: Well, say something! (Ruth goes to press the button) Wait! I’ll call him. What’s his number?
Ruth: I don’t know!
Naomi: Caller ID!
Ruth: Oh, right. Uh…555-1634.
Naomi: Sixteen, thirty-four. Got it.
Miles: Hello?
Naomi: Miles?
Miles: Yeah…who is this?
Naomi: Naomi, Ruth’s friend. Did you ask her out?
Miles: Uh, kind of…
Naomi: How do you get off doing that? She has emotional baggage!
Miles: Emotional—hold on, other line.
Ruth: Miles?
Miles: Yeah.
Ruth: Are you talking to Naomi?
Miles: Yeah, she said you have emotional baggage
Ruth: What? (Presses button) Naomi!
Naomi: What?
Ruth: You told him about Steve?
Naomi: No, I—
Ruth: Don’t even bothering justifying. (Click) Miles, you, me, Tim Horton’s, five minutes. Got it?
Miles: Yeah, sure, but—
Ruth: No questions! (Hangs up, heads off stage.)
Miles: So, uh, Naomi…is she always like this?
Naomi: Crack the shell and the crazy falls out. (They all run off, taking stuff with them. Miles and Ruth walk on with chairs, table. Ruth’s in a skirt)
Miles: So…what’s with the sudden change?
Ruth: We need to talk.
Miles: Obviously. (They sit)
Ruth: What did Naomi tell you?
Miles: Are you in a skirt?
Ruth: That doesn’t matter! What did Naomi tell you?
Miles: Aren’t we gonna get coffee?
Ruth: Miles!
Miles: Ok, fine. She told me you had emotional baggage.
Ruth: Dammit, Naomi! What happens at the sleepover stays at the sleepover.
Miles: You guys have sleepovers.
Ruth: Duh. That’s what girls do.
Miles: But you’re not like other girls. You said so yourself.
Ruth: Ah but—shut up. Besides, you’re a guy. You wouldn’t understand.
Miles: Try me.
Ruth: You wouldn’t even care.
Miles: I’m asking, aren’t I?
Ruth: Well, there’s a reason why I’m so reclusive about everything.
Miles: Oh, getting good.
Ruth: I’ve always been kind of iffy about guys. But then this summer, I was at month long camp and Steve came along.
Miles: Oh, did you like this Steve?
Ruth: Yeah. I was smitten. (She laughs a little) But…it was worse than Naomi for Ross.
Miles: Wow.
Ruth: Yeah. Unlike Naomi, though, I won my conquest.
Miles: Did he--? (She nods) Oh, Ruth.
Ruth: I thought I was in, you know. And then I went over to his house to surprise him, his mom said he was in his room and I went up there and he was making out with this blonde, thin, bimbo! I was humiliated, and then he told the whole camp that he never was my boyfriend and that I was a creepy stalker. After that I just knew this was all fake! (There’s a long quiet moment, then Ruth stands) I think I know what to write. (She quickly kisses Miles goodbye, then stops and stares) Oh, God…(Runs off, leaving Miles stunned and speechless)
Miles: Wow. (The set has changed to the school again)
Mr. Franklin: I see we have a different seating plan today. (Ruth and Ross have switched) Oh well. Your essays are due Monday, see you tomorrow.
Ruth: (Everyone leaves but Miles and Ruth. Miles hangs back by the door) Mr. Franklin?
Mr. Franklin: You didn’t come to detention yesterday.
Ruth: I know. Something came up. (Mr. Franklin glances over at Miles, then back at her accusingly) Trust me. He had nothing to do with it. But, here. It’s my essay.
Mr. Franklin: Wow, I’m impressed. You actually did it. I’ll mark it tonight. But I think someone wants to talk to you. I’ll duck out. (He exits, Miles walks up to Ruth)
Ruth: I don’t want to talk to you.
Miles: Why? Let someone in and now you’re scared of what they found?
Ruth: Leave me alone.
Miles: You kissed me.
Ruth: It doesn’t even matter.
Miles: It does matter. I’ve known you for years and you’ve always been a fortress. But since the essay assignment—
Ruth: It’s not that superficial assignment! It’s—oh, why have you been following me around anyway?
Miles: I haven’t been following you around. We’ve been walking side by side.
Ruth: Why did you ask me out?
Miles: Why else? Because I like you, Ruth. God forbid somebody might want to peel away the mask and see who Ruth Ramsey really is.
Ruth: How could you like someone like me? I’m not thin, I’m not pretty, and I’m sure as hell not a nice person.
Miles: You think I’m really that shallow? I don’t care. Obviously I don’t. I’m the skinny nerdy kid who just hangs out with everyone! Do you think if I cared I’d look like this? I’d go and work out so I could be hot! And, come on. I hang out with Ross and he’s the biggest ass on the planet!
Ruth: So the only guy I can get is the nerdy guy who’ll go for anything. (She runs off, Miles chases her)
Naomi: I told you! I. Hate. You.
Ross: Please, Naomi, I miss your chasing me! It was so exciting!
Naomi: Ross, I hate you. You’re rude to me, you’re mean to me and I have lost years of my life that I could have spent dating guys who don’t hate me chasing you!! (Long pause)
Ross: You don’t believe a word of that, do you?
Naomi: No. (They walk off hand in hand, as Miles and Ruth run on)
Miles: Was that just Naomi and Ross?
Ruth: I don’t even care.
Miles: Ruth, I don’t see why you hate me.
Ruth: Of course you don’t! You’re an arrogant, self-centered male and all you care about is yourself!
Miles: So because of one guy who did something no person should have a right to do you’re gonna hate everyone?
Ruth: Yes. Yes, Miles, I hate everybody, and I’m damn happy about it!
Miles: Who am I kidding? You have a set thing, and nothing’s going to change your mind about it.
Ruth: (Quietly) Prove me wrong.
Miles: What?
Ruth: I want you to prove me wrong. (She stands right in front of him, and they stare before he leans in and kisses her, as the lights go down. When they come back up, it’s the classroom again. Mr. Franklin is reading Ruth’s essay.)
Mr. Franklin: Now, I marked your essays and I wanted to read this one in particular. (As he reads, the lights begin to go down and music plays) What is love? Love is nothing. You can’t see love and you can’t find it. But if it is meant to, when that person comes along, you will love them. No matter what has happened in the past, you will be able to see through those scars. But someone can take advantage of that feeling; use it to kill someone inside. True love can stop all, even death. You can be a skeptic, refuse to feel, but even the greatest fortresses can be broken down. Let that elusive emotion strike down the walls.

THE END

ALTERNATE ENDING
Ruth: (Quiet) Prove me wrong.
Miles: What?
Ruth: I want you to prove me wrong (She stands right in front of him, and they stare before he leans in and goes to kiss her, but stops right before and pulls back.)
Miles: I can’t. (He runs off, scene changes to Ruth and Naomi sitting on the floor eating ice cream.)
Ruth: I can’t believe you got Ross.
Naomi: I know, I’m still kind of in shock. (She giggles) But I guess it always works out in the end.
Ruth: Yeah, right. (Pause) Give me the ice cream, she’s about to say, “You had me at hello”.

THE (OTHER) END